Our Secret Oasis(On Temporary Hold)
by MadHatterLove7011
Summary: What do you do when you find out that your mother lied and your father is Clay Morrow. A drug habit she has to kick and a fear that surrounds his everyday life. Will they find each other through the darkness that is their hearts? (Happy OC)
1. This is Just the Beginning

**{Unfortunately, I have come across some problem logging into my other account. So I have recreated this profile and moved my stories. I am only putting up the first chapter for now the rest later this week.  
For those who haven't read my other fan fictions this is how it goes. My updates are based on how many reviews, favorites and follows the story gets. Reviews can be good or bad or can be messages if you are not comfortable to review or whatever your reason is, it doesn't matter. As well in my bio I do keep an updated schedule of anything I am taking on, but realize that can be subject to change if the request for one story is higher than another. I do not own the Sons of Anarchy I only own my characters and anything you do not recognize}**

It's not easy being Clay Morrow's daughter especially when neither of us were aware of this fact. I only found out due to my meeting with the infamous Happy. When I was born my dad was never around my mother always told me he had an important job he had to attend to and was killed in that job. Little did I know at the time it was a lie. My mother had a terminal cancer that was slowly killing her, weakening her. When I was twelve she got it so bad we had to move from our small farm to Tacoma where she could barely get out of her bed so my auntie had to take care of her. She only lasted another three years before I woke up to her lifeless body when I tried to crawl into bed with her. It felt like someone pulled my world from me and crumbled it right in front of my eyes and I was powerless to stop it. I didn't even feel like I belonged in this world anymore. I got into the wrong crowd and ended up doing a lot of drugs and other things I'm not so proud of. That's when I meet Happy. Mike was the local low end drug dealer and he owed thousands of money to the Sons and they came to collect.

I was on the floor just finishing coming off my high and leaning against Mike's leg who was sitting in the chair beside me. I observed everything that was going on around me trying to stay awake as much as possible. There was people shooting up in the corners, Mike's henchmen selling more crank to other costumers and people having sex in plain sight. That's when the front door burst open and two men walked in both wearing cuts. One had spiked blonde hair and blue eyes and a slight build I later found out that his name was Kozik and he was the sergeant at arms for the SAMTAC. And behind him was Happy he was very intimidating being over six feet tall, all his tats and his shaved head but for as intimidating as he was, he was very handsome. Their eyes scanned the room until they fell on Mike. Kozik took one look around and jabbed a finger towards the door. "Out."

That's all he had to say and everyone went scrambling for the door. The moment I stood up to do as everyone else was Mike grabbed me by the back of the my shirt and ripped me back towards him a gun pointed at my temple. "Don't you fucking come a step closer!" He shouted

Both men pulled out their guns immediately and Happy didn't take his eyes off me. "You know you don't want to do that. She has nothing to do with this let her go." Kozik spoke calmly to Mike

"Or what? As long as she's here I'm safe. So come on lets be adults about this and put the guns down." Mike tried to negotiate

When they didn't instantly lower their guns he pushed his gun into my temple harder causing me to whimper and I could feel the tears start to leak from my eyes. Kozik lowered his gun then, Happy looked extremely pissed that he was being pushed around like that but lowered his gun either way. "Good. Now this is how this is going to go, you are going to turn around and walk back out that door and don't come back or Clay's precious daughter is going to get it understand."

What did he say? Who was Clay? My dad was dead, the men looked just as confused as I was until Kozik gave me a good look over and swore under his breath. "Fuck."

"That's right so come on leave. What ya say killa?" Mike taunted, "That is what they call you isn't it?"

When they didn't immediately go he removed the gun from my head and shot the ceiling above us. I was so shocked I screamed and tried to struggle from his grip. Doing what he did was the biggest mistake he could have made, Happy saw his opening and shot Mike in the knee cap sending me flying forward into Happy's arms and Mike to the ground. "Hey? Hey look at me. What's your name?" Happy tried to talk to me, trying to draw my attention away from Mike and Kozik

I was about to answer when I heard Mike's agonizing cries coming from behind me. I looked back and Mike was being dragged into one of the bedrooms kicking and flailing by Kozik. I felt a pair of rough hands grab my face and force me to face Happy's big dark brown eyes staring deep into mine. "You need to answer me."

I looked back and forth between Happy and the bedroom that Mike and Kozik were in before I answered him. "S-Savannah. Savannah Braze."

"Okay Savannah mines Happy this is what's going to happen. You are going to go home and wait for me. I will come and get you. Do not make me look for you. That's your only warning."

Happy scared me so much all I could do was nod. He looked hesitant to let me go but let me go either way. And I started walking towards the door. The moment I made it outside into that blinding light, I ran. I ran all the way to my aunties, bursting through the front door I threw on my shorts and converse shoes with my torn Ozzy Osborne shirt with a black tank top on underneath and throwing what little clothing I had and some crank I had stashed into a bag. I ran from my house and headed straight for the highway. Ignoring my aunties frantic calls after me, all I knew was I needed to get out of there and fast.

~~SOA~~

I was a few miles from Tacoma by night fall and so far had no luck in finding someone willing to pick me up. I sat on the ground shakily taking a long drag of a smoke and tried to collect my thoughts. That's when I heard it, the sound of a bike in the distance. I looked towards the rider and immediately panicked when I noticed it was Happy. I shot straight up throwing my smoke away as he realized it was me and started to circle around. In the distance I could see a semi-truck heading my way and I started running towards it waving my hand frantically around trying to get his attention. I was extremely happy when the driver started to slow down and pull off to the side.

Just as I was getting in the truck, Happy grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "Hey leave the girl alone." The driver tried to argue with Happy but with the look he gave him I knew I wasn't leaving and reluctantly gave my thanks to the driver before stepping out of the truck

Happy let go of my arm and I looked down at my feet. "What are you doing I thought I said I didn't want to look for you. I hate a goose chase."

Happy eyed me up and down when I didn't give him an answer. What could I say really I had disobeyed him. Happy sighed and a black helmet ended up in my vision. I realized I wasn't getting a choice in the matter and grabbed the helmet and hoped on the back of his bike. "Ever rode before?"

"Once. A long time ago. "

~~SOA~~

This is one place I never thought I would be, the SAMTAC clubhouse. There was a party going on when we got there club, members and croweaters coming in and out. I started to panic I didn't belong here, and everyone knew it I stuck out like a sore thumb. Happy placed a hand on my shoulder and I instantly calmed down. I gave him a reassuring smile and walked towards the front door. Once we were inside Happy placed his hand on the small of my back and pushed me towards the dorm rooms. I felt instantly calm for whatever reason by this small little jester but just brushed it off that was something I couldn't think of at that moment in time, there was much more important things at hand. Just as we were reaching the hallway he stopped briefly to talk to Kozik. "Get the prez for me now. I'll be in the chapel in five"

Kozik took another swing from his beer before nodding and heading off in a different direction. His dorm room was nothing fancy everything was organized and in its place the odd piece of clothing on the floor but besides that nothing besides a bed and a desk. Once I heard the door close a wave of anxiety washed over me, I was now in a secluded bedroom with someone I didn't know and if I screamed I'm pretty sure no one would hear me with the party that was going on outside. I felt his eyes on me but as my mind was running a mile a minute he just walked past me to another door that lead to a bathroom. "I've got to go see the prez about our new situation we have here and just a heads up Clay is already on his way with a few others from the Charming charter and he will want to see you when he gets here. So have a shower and go to sleep you have a busy day tomorrow."

I nodded my head and placed my bag on the bed and turned around to face the man they called killer. He wasn't that intimidating in a sense, I felt like he wouldn't hurt me but I didn't have the best intuition as of late. He held out a towel for me and I slowly grabbed it lightly brushing past him to go to the bathroom as he wouldn't move out of the way. I swear I could hear a low growl coming from him but put it off because why would that happen, I'm a no one to him just a small junkie that is in the way and he is stuck babysitting. I think? I pushed the door closed and took of my shirt and sat on the edge of the tub. I turned the taps on and placed my hand under the water. It felt nice almost relaxing.

That's when it hit me. The need the want that had yet to come. I started to shake slightly and the only thing I could think of was how nice it would be to relax in here, away from everything and everyone and just float. I felt the small smile creep on my lips and I got up and opened the door to find Happy standing over his bed looking down at something lying in his hands. My gut told me to stay away and go back to the bathroom but the overwhelming need I had overruled this sense and I started to walk towards him. "Sorry I just forgot something in—"I started to speak but stopped.

What he held in his hand was my stash and the look on his face looked like a cross of anger mixed with confusion. I went in an attempt to grab it but once my hand came into view his face whipped around and stared me down. I have never been so scared in my life but the thing with me is I get a little irrational when it comes to my next high. So I did the stupidest thing I could. I stood up and got right back in his face and yelled, "What? Don't act all high and mighty your part of a MC don't tell me drugs aren't your thing. Now give me what's mine."

His eyes went darker than they were before if that was even possible and he took one step in front of me then it was like a switch all of a sudden he was on his way to the bathroom. Panic rose in me immediately and I went chasing after him but by the time I had reached the bathroom he had dumped everything down the toilet, then crushed and threw out my needles. I was astonished to say the least then it hit me what he did and I was furious. I whipped around so fast I almost lost my footing and went charging towards the bed grabbed my purse and ran towards the door. I was going to get out of there if it was the last thing I did. But I only made it as far as opening the door slightly before it was slammed in my face and Happy's strong hands roughly turned me around. Before I could even open my mouth to protest his finger shot in front of my face "You're going to listen to me and listen good because I am not going to repeat myself here little girl, you do not need that garbage. And as long as I'm around you will not do it and trust me I'll be around for a long while and even when I'm not around someone else will be. This shit stops right here right now. Do. You. Understand."

Even though in the back of my mind I had a feeling he wouldn't hurt me, I couldn't chance that could I? And as mad as it made me I just had to make it one day until I could get out and find someone to sell to me which wouldn't take long. So I lied. He let go of me and shoved me slightly towards the bed. I got the hint and laid down on his bed. "I'm going to go talk to someone so stay put. I won't be long."

And with the click of the lock he was gone. I had a million thoughts swarming my head but eventually sleep overcame me and I passed out.

 _*Happy p.o.v*_

 _I could feel the killer lurking in the back of my mind. I was trying to keep it at bay while I was with her. I don't know what it was about her but I had the overwhelming feeling to protect her and get her away from that god forsaken drug. It never did anyone any good, after all I should know. That drug it enraged me especially when I saw her with that low life. Why she was with him made sense now but she shouldn't be in this life she shouldn't be doing that and it just enraged me even more that she was mad at me for doing her a favor. After I got out of the hall I was immediately swarmed by four croweaters and as much as I needed a good stress relief, I was on a mission and had to get back to her before she ran again. I don't think I could keep calm if she defied me once again tonight. Emotions were running high and I did not do emotion. I shoved the crows away and walked to the chapel where I knew the prez was waiting for me. Arrangements had to be made. I closed the door behind me and sat at the table the prez was the first to talk. "How is she?"_

 _"Pissed and I'm sure confused but it's taking care of."_

 _He gave me a look that asked if he should ask and I just shook my head that told him to drop it. "Well either way she is here now. I just got off the phone with Clay. Him, Jax, Chibs and Tig are all on their way here. He doesn't sound impressed but, they will figure something out. It's his drama Hap and it's gonna stay that way. When he gets here, she is his responsibility and choice and it's going to be left at that understood?'_

 _I clenched my jaw because we both knew how Clay was especially toward the women of his life otherwise I wouldn't be getting this so called warning. The thing was I don't think I could just leave her in his hands that just felt irresponsible. But when did she become my responsibility maybe it was the way she looked stranded, scared and alone that was hitting home. Either way I nodded my head letting him know that I understood and walked out and back towards the dorms. As I passed by Koz I noticed the bottle of jack beside him and swiped it and kept going. Koz started to argue with me but the look I shot him shut him up and that was that. I wondered if she was still awake. Or maybe she ran or was waiting to bail when I came back?_

 _When I unlocked the door and stepped back in she was curled into the corner of my bed and as I walked closer to her I noticed her even breathing, she was sleeping. I sat on my bed how odd it was for someone other than myself to be sleeping in this bed but it felt right. I took a swing from the bottle of jack and figured if I had to stay shut up in the room the least I could do was drink. It was going to be one hell of a long night but it was going to rougher in the morning for her at least._


	2. One Hell of a Ride

**{I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my character and anything you don't recognize. Please comment, rate and follow and thanks to all who have it's great motivation to update more often :)}**

 _*Happy p.o.v*_

 _She rolled around my bed to face me still sound asleep from what I could tell. As tired as I am, I am not comfortable sleeping in bed with a girl. I don't sleep with girls I fuck em and toss em. That's my reputation and I'm not about to ruin it. When she faced me though she had a piece of her hair in the corner of her mouth. I took another pull from the bottle trying not to focus on her lips the way they slightly shined in the dark like it was calling me to her. Before I could stop myself I reached over and brushed the strand of hair from her face. That was my first mistake the moment the hair pulled from her lips her eyes fluttered open and I felt like a deer caught in headlights. Like it should matter to me what do I have to be caught doing wrong. I could do whatever I liked so I did what I did best put on the emotionless face that said I didn't care, leaned back in the chair taking another pull from the bottle._

 _*end of Happy p.o.v*_

I felt something pulling at my mouth and when I opened my eyes what startled me was that Happy was inches from my face, his hand lingering just inches from my cheek. But just as quickly as it happened, he pulled away just as quickly. I figured that was what he was good at. I sat up slightly as the need to throw up hit me hard and I bailed into the bathroom barely making it to the toilet before I emptied out my already empty stomach. When I felt that I was good enough to leave the toilet I staggered back to the bedroom gripping the doorway when Happy spoke "You done? Cuz' next time close the door I don't need to hear that shit this early in the morning."

I walked into the bedroom and grabbed the bottle of jack he had in his hands and before he could protest, I took a big gulp and didn't stop until the burning in my throat was unbearable. He was standing over me glaring at me like I had just robbed him off his last meal but given how crappy I was feeling he could live without some of the jack. I shoved the bottle back into his chest and pushed past him to the bed. I could hear just the faintest growl come from him but he didn't say anything just slumped back into his chair. "What time is it anyways?"

"Six"

I groaned. "And Clay should be here within the hour actually so get up and make yourself presentable you look like shit. I'll go get you something to eat before he gets here you're in for one hell of a ride girl."

That's right today I was supposed to meet my father. I could feel my stomach twisting inside out but I wasn't sure if it was because of the withdrawal I knew I was having or the fact of meeting my father the one I thought I never had. "I'm not hungry for one and I do have a name so why don't you call me by my name or shall I address you as killer. I can only think of one reason why your called that." I told him getting up off the bed and heading to the bathroom but on my way as I past him I leaned over in front of his face asked. "So what would you rather me call you huh? B _oy?_ "

I knew it was a mistake the moment the words left my mouth but I couldn't back down in front of someone like Happy especially now. So I walked away towards the bathroom. I made it to the wall before I was grabbed and ripped around to face him, he pushed me against the wall one hand on my hip pulling me hard against him and his other hand slammed beside my head blocking any escape I could have had. He moved his face right against mine nose to nose and I could tell by his eyes that he was battling something inside him, something deadly. "What did you call me? Listen _girl_ no one talks to me that way and I mean no one. I am called killer for a reason but I'm also known as Happy and you at the moment do not have any right to address me as either when you talk to me you will address me as sir. When you talk to me you talk to me with the respect that _I_ deserve. You are just a junkie that deserves nothing but the misery you bring upon yourself. You think happy to finally meet your dad well I wouldn't be so happy, he isn't you're going to be a constant reminder of a mis-"

"HAPPY! Man real it in." Someone grabbed Happy's shoulder pulling him away from me, it was Kozik.

Happy looked even more angry that someone had stopped him and that's when we noticed the audience we had collected, which consisted of Kozik, a man with blue eyes and slicked back blonde hair and another guy with grey looking hair and a scarred face. "Hap look what you're doing to her?" he motioned to me

As Happy looked at me I could see the realization dawn on him and then I realized how bad his words hurt me as I could taste the salty tears on my face. Happy stormed out of there mumbling something about Clay and everyone watched as he left. "Okay well Savannah your dad's here and the two men behind me are his step son Jaxson the vice president of the Charming charter and a fellow patch member Chibs. We are going to have church before you meet your dad so go get ready I'll have the prospect bring in some food for you to eat before you meet him and then I will come get you and bring you to him. At first it will probably just be the two of you do you understand?"

I nodded my head I felt numb everything was happening to fast and my body was moving before my brain could catch up. Before I knew it I had had a shower got changed into a pair of red torn skinny jeans, a peach camisole and black open toes heels and I pulled my hair up with a few strands falling around my face including my bangs and was now sitting in front of a burger and fries trying to choke it down without throwing up when I could hear my phone going off in my bag. I slide from the bed and over to my bag which had at one point moved to the floor. I sat cross legged on the floor pulling out my phone to find meaningless texts except for one. My dealer. He said he was good to go and wanted to know how much to put aside for me. And as scared as I could be of Happy and I knew if I was caught how furious he would be I needed it. Just one last time and I wanted to piss him off after he humiliated me like that. I sent him a quick text letting him know to meet me in our usual spot in an hour and I expected full amount as normal. Just as I sent the text Kozik walked in looking at me on the floor then up at the food. "Not hungry?"

"Thanks for stating the obvious." I replied shoving my phone back in my bag

He rolled his eyes but held his hand out to me. "Come on Clay is waiting and he isn't a very patient man."

I hesitated but took his hand slinging my bag over my shoulder and following him out. I got a lot of looks as we came around the corner of the hallway but Kozik didn't waste time showing me where this meeting was supposed to take place I walked into a big room with a table in the center and a man was sitting in one of the chairs. He looked old and his cold grey eyes didn't seem very welcoming. If this was my father I wasn't sure I wanted to know him. He gave one look at Kozik and he nodded his head leaving the room closing the door behind him. I looked at the man in front of me and he motioned for me to take a seat. Once I did it took him a few moments of what seemed like he was analyzing me before speaking. "Well there is no doubt that you're my daughter but you definitely look more like your mother."

"So you remember my mother?"

"Yes…I do before I meet Gemma she was the woman I thought I would be with till the end but she couldn't accept me and my life. What I didn't know was that she had a kid after I left. That is what surprised me."

I kept quite not sure what to say. "I talked to my wife about it and I discussed it with the club here and back home, you will come home with me and live with me and Gemma. Learn the life as from what I understand you're up to no good here and that's going to change and it's going to change fast. Gemma will be up here in a week to collect you and your belongings and I will be keeping Happy babysitting you as I can't be here to do so nor do I have the time back home to do it. Is that understood?"

Man did everyone have to talk to me like I was a child. But I resisted the urge to roll my eyes because this did not seem like the man to piss off or to test his patience. So I just nodded my head. When he stood up and walked towards me I stood up with him and meet him the rest of the way. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder turning me towards the door. "You can call me Clay if it's too early for dad what's my beautiful daughter's name?"

"Savannah."

He nodded his head and we stepped out of the room meeting everyone's eyes who then broke out into cheers and laughter. The moment I was done meeting everyone there I took my chance as I didn't see Happy anywhere and went to my meeting spot.


	3. I Promise I'm Done

**{Hey everyone sorry it's taken me a bit to update I had a lot going on. So remember to review, follow or favorite for me to update faster, I appreciate it all thank you. I do not own the sons of anarchy only my character and anything you do not recognize.}**

 _*Happy p.o.v.*_

 _I was looking over at my bathroom door thinking about the scene that unfolded not even an hour ago between me and Savannah. I am hoping that she doesn't start that shit up again I almost lost it today, I could never hurt a woman but that's me and when the killer comes out and I lose complete control I don't know what would happen and I didn't need that shit. It's a good thing Clay is here for her then I won't need to deal with her. I can tell Clay or Jax about her drug habit and they can deal with her. No…I couldn't do that I know what Clay would do but maybe it was for the better. I rubbed my hand over my face in frustration and reached out for my smokes. I don't know why she was bothering me so much. But no one talks to me that way ever, the only person to get away with that shit is ma and she isn't her. It took everything I had to bring in the killer inside me earlier. The moment she left the room with Kozik I took the opportunity to go into my room with the first sweet butt that came close to me. I lit up my smoke and waited for her to get out of the bathroom and do the same thing they all try to do. She strode out of the bathroom towards my bed and as she reached me she tried to lean onto the bed, sliding her hand up my chest. Before she got completely laid down, I turned to face her, glaring her down and barked, "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Get outta here."_

 _She smacked my chest calling me a jerk before she pushed herself up out of the bed grabbing her clothes and left. Might as well go check on the troublemaker see how she is making out. I reached over and stubbed out my smoke then got dressed and headed for the door. I was locking my door when I heard Jax yell at me down the hall. "Hey man have you seen Savannah? Clay is looking for her, Ma is on the phone and wants to talk to her about next week?"_

 _I perked my head up at this, she should be out there with everyone else. I walked down the hallway pushing myself past Jax to see a full on party going on but no sign of her. There was only one thing she could be doing and I was stupid enough not to watch her. I should've known she would take the first opportunity she could. "Fuck!" I muttered to no one in particular and stormed my way outside running into Koz as I reached the door._

 _I grabbed him by his shirt and pinned him to the wall outside. "Where is she!"_

 _"Whoa man who?"_

 _"Savannah!"_

 _"I don't know last time I saw her was half an hour ago when she left church with Clay. She was in here about twenty minutes ago and I watched her go outside. She took out a smoke I just figured she was going out for a smoke? Is she missing?"_

 _I shoved him away from me. I was so stupid to think that she could be left alone for two minutes. I hopped on my bike hoping that I would catch her before she got to her next fix._

 _*End of Happy p.o.v*_

I loved this spot, on the bridge above the river. It is deadly quite out here and you were just far enough out, that you were just outside of the town to your right and to the left was a small forest. Most people you saw out here were biking or running so there wasn't too many people around. I always came here to clear my mind and after today I needed it. _Ring Ring_ my phone started going off in my pocket and I looked down at it, it was Happy. I pushed the end button and turned it on silent. I hopped onto the wall of the bridge and dangled my feet over the water and continued to watch the water "Hey beautiful." Someone called beside me, it was Tyler

Tyler was someone I had known for years. Way before I knew Mike or anyone else or did anything else. He was the stoner in high school, he has short hair that he normally has in a faux hawk and grey eyes and tattoos everywhere. Being a drug dealer was a side hobby for him, he was a tattoo artist and besides doing my own tattoos he was starting to teach me in his spare time. He was like a brother to me and I knew I could trust him. "Hey yourself."

He came up and hugged me from behind and bent down to my purse slipping the drugs in and the cash out before he stood up and eyed me warily. "I heard some shit went down between SAMTAC and Mike. Were you there?"

"Yes I was and I found something out, "I took a deep breath because I knew the moment I said it out loud I was admitting that it was true, "the president of SAMCRO in the Charming charter is my dad."

"What? I thought-"

"Yeah I know, that's what I thought to. My mom lied to me and now as of next week I won't be here anymore."

"Really? I'll miss you and so will the others you know that?"

I nodded my head and looked down at the water, trying not to let my distress show. I felt his hands on my hips as he pushed me around and pulled me off the wall to hug me tight. He whispered in my ear, his face in my hair, "I'm sorry I know you don't have a choice. How about we head back to my place we can hang out there, party for one more time have some fun? I'm just parked over there."

I looked over at his 1992 Nissan gtr that he got from his dad a year ago. I took my phone out and looked down to see I had four missed calls from Happy and about a dozen messages that said something along the lines of where the fuck was I? He better not catch me with or doing drugs? excreta excreta…that just infuriated me more. He wasn't anyone important in my life so who the hell was he to think he had the right to barge into my life and control it. But oddly enough it still felt wrong to do this to him. As I was looking at the phone I saw him call again and after I forwarded him to voice mail, he finally left one. I grabbed my bag from the ground and said, "Yeah why the hell not, have some good old fun with the group one last time. I just gotta get this and I'll be there."

He nodded his head and I started to listen to Happy's voice mail. "I don't know where you are or what the fuck you think you are doing but when I find you, you better have a god damn good reason for disappearing. Everyone is wondering where you are so get the fuck back here, Tacoma is not that big little girl and neither are the places you would go hang out so if your hiding I would hide far away because I will find you. Then you can tell Clay yourself why you're not here and why I have been looking for you all night. Answer me now and I'll forget this happened...Call me."

Not only did Happy sound one hundred percent pissed he actually managed to scare me over the phone. I looked back at Tyler who was waiting impatiently at the car and then back at my phone. "You know what, I'm sorry I forgot I had somewhere to be, I'm supposed to be back at the clubhouse with Clay and I should go back."

"Want a ride?"

"No I have someone coming to get me. Thank you for coming out here though. I will talk to you before I leave I'm sorry."

"No worries I understand have a good one beautiful."

I walked back to the wall and leaned up against it and took a deep breath before I called him. I heard him growl from the other line when he picked up "Where. Are. You."

"The bridge just outside of town."

"Five minutes." Then he hung up.

As I was waiting for him I took out the needles and drugs I had just bought and place it all on the wall. I leaned back and lit up a smoke as I waited for him. I could hear the roar of his bike from miles away and I watched him park it, putting out my smoke. I could see how much I truly had pissed him off and I swear I could see a glimmer of worry in his eyes but I was more scared at the moment then willing to find out if that was true. I debated about running but I needed to do this now or he wouldn't understand. I wasn't sure why it was important that he knew but it was. As he got off his bike he stomped over to me and as he got closer his eyes traveled to the drugs on the wall. I could see the flare from this morning come back something in him was changing. He picked up a bag and threw it at my chest and pointed at the rest, "What the hell did I tell you about this shit huh? What did I say would happen if you touched this again? This is why you left? To get your next fix I thought you could be better than that! But I was wrong you are a no good fucking junkie that deserves to have been left in that disease infested house I found you in. We're going back and you're going to tell Clay everything so that I don't have to deal with your childish behavior anymore. Your mother must be so fucking ashamed because I don't even know you and I'm ashamed to have your name attached to the club."

I could feel the anger rising in me with every word he spat at me, but I choked down the outburst that was threatening to come out, I felt the tears fall at his last couple sentences but I wiped them with my hand and pushed the drugs and needles off the bridge. He looked at me shocked, like he expected something else to happen and I bent down and grabbed the bag he threw at me and opened it. I started at it for a moment, I wanted it sure, and I was addicted of course it ate at me to do this. But he was right I am ashamed and my mother probably is rolling around in her grave at everything I've done since she passed. I couldn't be doing this anymore, so I dumped the bag. I bent over and grabbed my bag and looked at him. His anger turned into confusion and I finally spoke up, "I'm sorry. This is my first step to quitting and I will quit and within the next couple days it going to get bad but I'm going to get through it, whether you help me or not. I'm done. I wanted you to be here when I made this first step. And for your information I haven't talked to my mother in two years, she's dead. Now could you take me back to the clubhouse I am feeling rather tired and I don't want to be outside anymore."

I didn't wait for his reply I just walked past him to go to the bike. He grabbed my wrist as I passed him and said, "Listen-"

"No, just take me back please. I'm fine, "I looked back at him and sarcastically added, " _Sir."_

He looked astonished but let go and walked back to the bike with me. My wrist was burning from where he held it, not a hurtful one but a good one. It was going to be a long ride back and an even longer ride throughout the week. When we got back I was harassed by the members on where we had disappeared to but I lied and said I needed some girl products and food and left to go to bed. Happy started to follow me but when I looked back at him, he knew that he wasn't welcome and had to leave me alone.


	4. Bonding and Truths Revealed

**{Hey guys remember to favorite, follow and review for more frequent updates. I don't own the Sons of Anarchy only my character and anything you do not recognize.}**

It had been a few hours since I locked myself up in the room but I could already feel my body reacting to the withdrawal. I knew I wanted to commit to this, to prove to myself I was better but it was getting bad. Just as the thought ran through my brain, the urge to throw up came and I ran to the bathroom barely making it to the toilet before I threw up. After a while of hugging the toilet a knock came from the door. At first I thought it was Happy but he has the keys so he would've just come in. So I stumble to the door and opened it slightly to see the tall blonde from before standing in front of me, hands in his pockets looking slightly nervous. He shifted on his feet before I asked, "Do you want to come in?"

He looks behind him at the party but nods and I let him in. I watch him pace slightly around the room and I started to get irritated, "Jax right?"

He looked up startled at me and flashed me a smile, "Yeah sorry about coming in here late, I just want to talk to you for a second."

I sat on the bed, cross-legged and patted the spot beside me. "Koz told me about how they found you…where they found you to be exact…"

He seemed a little uncomfortable but from what I heard I thought he was the man that put the word charm in the Charming charter. I laughed under my breathe, but looked him in the eyes and said, "You don't have to push yourself you know, yes that's where they found me and yes I was there for that reason but that was the last time I touched it…I had some when I got here and Mr. fucking grumpy took it away and then what I tried to get today I dumped so if you're asking me if I'm done well I am."

He looked me up and down for a few minutes before he said, "You know I have a son, "I raised my eyebrows at him, he looked way too young to be a dad but who was I to judge, "Yes I do his name is Abel and he was just born a few months ago. His mom was a junkie, she couldn't stay away from crank long enough to have our baby, and she ended up putting his life at risk you know."

I raised my eyebrows at him again, I couldn't understand people like that yeah I liked my high as much as the next person but when it came to having a baby even I wasn't dumb enough to do that especially with a members baby. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah he is in the hospital being looked after, but it wasn't like that at first. I didn't know for a while there if he was going to pull through."

"Can I meet him? I've always loved babies, unless I'm imposing too much?"

"How about I make a deal with you okay?"

"And what's this deal?"

"Well I'm sure you don't understand how our world works quite yet but this can't be happening when you come to Charming, it ain't going to fly. So since you're supposed to be my new baby sister and all now, if you get clean and me along with whoever else wants to help, helps you get there, I'll introduce you to my son. He needs another female in his life besides my ma, trust me."

I couldn't help but smile at that, it made me want to pull through this even more. Jax slapped his hand down on my knee and stated, "I'll take that as a yes then?"

I nodded my head but, then his face turned serious once again, "What I walked in on earlier between you and Hap?"

"Don't worry about that, that I can handle myself."

"I don't doubt that from what I saw today but, Hap isn't someone to toy with darling. Just be careful, your family now no matter how you got there or what you have done in your past, your still family."

"Trust me Killer and me got nothing going on anymore…not after today."

"Okay well I am here if you need to talk or whatever, you won't know many people in Charming so I'll watch over you for a bit to start at least."

He got up from the bed to leave and I couldn't help but grab onto his wrist. He was the first person since all this started happening that was nice enough to not only come and talk to me but also to worry. That was something I hadn't experienced with anyone else in a long time, not since mom died. I could feel the tears prick my eyes and I looked up at Jax. "I'm s-scared." I stuttered

He grabbed onto my hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Don't be, I'm staying for a little bit longer than everyone else. If you want I can move you to the room I'm staying in tomorrow and I'll watch over you, they always say the first twenty-four hours is the worst of them all. Then as long as you get through it and you feel good we will go celebrate and if you need to talk we can?"

He was right I was already starting to sweat and shake, it was just going to get worse as my day progressed and to have someone (even for how little I knew him) to care enough to watch over me made it seem like it was going to get better. And as much as I believe nothing would happen under Happy's watch well, I just couldn't count on that, not after what he said to me today. Jax let go of my hand and once he had the door open I spoke up once more. "Jax?"

"Hmm?"

"What happened to her? The mother of Abel?"

"She isn't here anymore, she was more or less banished from the family and Charming."

With that he left to join the party…I couldn't help but wonder if I don't get off this, will I turn out the same way as her? I wouldn't doubt it. From the little I know about the club, their what holds everyone together and rather the queen is the expectation level for the women who are something to the club, not the croweaters or hang around. You can't be better than her but you're expected to be up to her expectations and the clubs. You have to have respect for yourself, a croweater doesn't. I could feel my eyes growing heavy as I sat up thinking about what Jax had said and before long the noises beyond the door grew distant as I feel into a deep sleep.

~~SOA~~

I felt the bed sink underneath someone weight and after sometime someone started poking at my shoulder. I didn't want to wake up I felt like my body was lead, it took so much effort just to open my eyes to find Happy sitting there looking completely uncomfortable. "Get up. Your dads leaving and you're going to have to see him off. You have a half an hour lets go."

He didn't give me the chance to reply he just got up and left. I didn't want to get up all I wanted to do was sleep, my body felt completely drained out but, I should say goodbye to Clay, it's the nice thing to do I guess. So I grudgingly swung my feet over the bed and stumbled my way to the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit, my hair looked all strung out, my face is so pale and my eyes are bloodshot and my lips all chapped and peeling. It looked as if I hadn't slept in weeks. I used to be so beautiful but, throughout the years I not only got uglier and uglier on the outside but I became just as bad on the inside. The girl that my mom knew, the one who always had a glow about her and a smile on her face, not fake but a real one, was no longer here. As I stared at myself completely depressed my stomach let out the worst growl I had heard in a while. I realized then how hungry I was so, I figured I would head to the kitchen and eat before I headed outside to see them. I threw my hoodie on and walked out of the room. There was nobody around in the front room when I got there so I went around and started to go into the kitchen. When I was just reaching the doorway I heard Clay say, "She is doing what?!"

I could hear the anger radiating from his voice. So I choose to walk away but before I could step away I heard Happy speak up next, "Sorry Clay I thought I would let you know just in case it gets out of control. When we said she was getting into trouble here it was a little more than that…we found her with Mike."

Are they talking about me? I pressed my back up against the wall as I listened in. "I can't believe this! What does she not have someone here that was watching her! Why was I not told about this sooner?"

"I don't think prez told you because he wanted you to come and meet her first. She did say she was planning on quitting but I'm thinking someone should keep their eye on her until we know for sure."

He seemed to ponder over this for a minute, "Fine. I'll put Juice on it, I'll get him up here for tomorrow."

"If you wouldn't mind…I can keep watching her maybe come down there with Gem? I have no jobs up here and I'm looking for something to do the girl isn't that much trouble. Besides Jax will be here I'm sure he can help if she gets out of hand again."

"Okay if that's what you want. I knew her mom, for as beautiful and stubborn as she was I know why she kept her from me but, I can't imagine what she would think if she saw her daughter now. I have only known her for a short period and I'm already ashamed."

I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks, the salty taste leaking into my lips. I hung my head, they were right to be angry and ashamed, I certainly am. But I did it to get away for everything from the pain, I didn't have a family or someone to confide in or run to, I lost mine and she was my everything. I could hear the roar of the bikes signally that everyone was ready to go. I could see through the open door that Jax to was sitting on his bike but, it wasn't turned on he was just leaning against it having a smoke. "What are you doing girl?"

I looked up to see Happy staring at me curiously. Then it seemed to dawn on him that I had been there the whole time. My anger flared when I saw him. How dare he judge me, he had no right. To say what he did to Clay, why couldn't he just leave it alone our relationship was already off to a rocky start and this just tipped the boat. I could understand why he was concerned after what I did but I dumped it all in front of him. I was seeing this through to the end, why couldn't he see that? I don't understand why it is so important that he understands me and what I'm trying to do. Why I'm kind of pushing for his approval but, it didn't matter right now. What did matter was how betrayed I had felt. I looked back at Jax who was staring curiously at us now. I felt Happy's hand grab onto my arm to get my attention. I smacked his hand away and before I had realized what I had done, I had slapped him right across the face. That had gotten the attention from everyone within ear shot. He looked genuinely surprised and confused and before he could do anything I pushed past him and ran out the door heading straight for Jax. Once I reached Jax he grabbed my shoulders and asked, "What's going on darling? Are you okay?"

His eyes darted between me and the door where Happy still stood behind. "Please take me out of here, please?" I pleaded with him.

I don't know if I could sound anymore hurt and desperate at that moment. New tears had sprung and I was shocked because I didn't understand the feeling that arose after I had slapped Happy. Jax didn't ask any questions just handed me a helmet and we got on his bike. The other members were looking shocked at the scene that had unfolded in front of them and just as his bike was taking off I could hear Happy yelling at us from the doorway. I wrapped my arms around Jax waist, as I felt the comfort the ride had already started to take on me, I needed this.


	5. Long Road

**{Thank you so much for all your guys inspiration. Remember to review, favorite and follow it's all important to me. I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my own character and anything you do not recognize.}**

 _*Happy p.o.v.*_

 _That look on her face…I don't know why it bothered me so much. To see the look of shock, embarrassment, sadness and anger. I don't know how long she was hiding there but, it had to have been long enough. I couldn't understand what she was beginning to go through. But I had to watch her that was my job now. I can't seem to shake the fact that I was trying to convince myself of this, like it wasn't a fact or that there was something else behind this feeling. But, It can't be more…it couldn't be more. As I was standing here trying to convince myself of this I realized there was a stinging sensation in my cheek. She had slapped me. No one slapped me unless I told them to but, surprisingly enough to me the killer didn't come out. I was still slightly pissed but nowhere near the level I would normally be. By the time my brain caught up with me, I caught the glimpse of her getting on the back of Jax's bike. Anger flared in me I didn't like seeing her there…for whatever reason she didn't belong there. Beside that I couldn't watch her if she wasn't around and I needed to watch over her. So, I did the only thing I could I ran out after her, calling for her but that's not me. What is this girl doing to me?_

 _*End of Happy p.o.v.*_

We rode for almost an hour before Jax pulled over in front of an ice cream shop in town. I pulled the helmet off and looked over Jax's shoulder curiously. He raised his eyebrows expectantly "What I thought you girls like stuff like this?"

"Well I'm not most girls." I said with a smirk on my face and leaned over and whispered in his ear, "but, I'm not complaining."

In truth something sweet would hit the spot perfectly right about now. I ordered some blueberry cheesecake ice cream and despite my surprise Jax got some Oreo ice cream to. We sat down in the back corner away from all the prying eyes that seemed to follow me everywhere. We sat in silence for a little bit when I noticed that every few seconds Jax was looking up at me. I knew he wasn't going to ask, he was waiting for me to tell. I didn't even know where to start myself but, if my mom taught me anything it was that nothing good came from holding everything in. I wasn't going to give in that easy though. So I asked, "If there is something you want to know just ask? I won't bite I swear."

I tried to add a small joke at the end but, I could tell he wasn't having it. "Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

Where was I going to start, with my mom and the burden I carry with me, the reason I always tried to escape from reality. As much as I felt like I could tell Jax anything, I couldn't tell him this that is something I would save for the right person at the right time. "Well, you know what I'm escaping from right now? Well Clay didn't know…not until a few moments ago when grumpy told him."

"Hap? Shit man, I'm sorry I should've stopped him."

"No, it was bound to happen but the words he said…they hit home you know. It hurt a lot more than I thought it would."

He looked at me like he wasn't sure what to say. But then he spoke up saying things that as harsh as they were I could tell they were true and came from the heart, "Listen Savannah, I'm sorry this is going to suck hearing it from me. But, if you don't hear it from me then your most likely going to hear it from my ma and she don't sugar coat shit. Clay at times can be that man that you expect to find out of a dad. He will protect you and take care of you but, he will never be the father you're hoping for. Clay will turn his back on you if it benefits him or the club, the only reason he is here is because of my ma. She believes in family and the chance for her to finally have a daughter is too good for her to pass up. When you come to Charming though it will not be easy. Between you being prepared for everything that comes with being the daughter of the prez and queen and the croweaters that are going to want to shove you below them and you will have to show them not only that you are above them but where they belong…it's not going to be an easy transition. But Clay won't help you, it's fucked up but it's just the way he is. That's why I told you I am here but, you also got my ma she will help make it easier. Do you understand me?"

"I have always wanted a dad," I looked down at my fingers and started to twist them as the tears fell down my cheeks, "I always wanted a family someone to come home to. I didn't want this, I'm scared and I'm confused. I don't know what I'm walking into anymore. But yes I understand."

"I know you will make it through this." "And how do you know that smarty pants?"

"From the moment I first met you I knew. No one stands up to Happy like that, hell darling not even our craziest member dares to stand up against him. You also smacked him across the face and that never happens. I don't think for even a second you can't handle yourself and the situation you're in."

I looked up to him and smiled slightly, he was right as scared as I was against Happy I still stood my ground and didn't budge. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and I looked out the window. I couldn't believe my eyes, no way was this happening. My mother was standing in the middle of the street, in her nighty staring right at me.


	6. Mama

**{In this chapter it's more in Happy point of view, while he battles what he is feeling and Savannah battles to completely quit and face her past which gets out of control. I don't own Sons of Anarchy only my own character and what you do not recognize. Remember to favorite, follow and review :)}**

This wasn't happening, it's not possible. But even so I got up from the table and ran out of the shop. As I got closer to the road I could feel the tears falling from my eyes. "Mama?!"

I chocked She looked lost but the moment I called out to her, her eyes wandered over to mine. She looked so healthy…so bright…she held her hand out to me and I could hear her whisper my childhood name as if she was standing not less than two feet from me when she was still so far away, "My little mouse come home to mama."

She held her arms open to me and I reached out to her. Before I knew it I was within reach of her, I could feel her fingertips. The closer I got to her the brighter she became. But just as I was reaching her arms I felt someone's arms wrap around my waist and rip me back away from her. "No!"I screamed, struggling against whoever held me in the arms.

I felt my body hit the ground. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I looked up to see Jax in front of me breathing hard. He looked back and forth between me and the road before he exclaimed, "What the hell do you think you are doing? How is getting yourself killed going to solve anything?" I shoved him away from me and stood up my back towards him, looking for any sign of my mother.

When I couldn't find her I started to cry harder, he took me away from my mother how dare he. I looked down at the ground and balled my fists. "What have you done! You…you took her away from me…" I mumbled trying not to let the anger get the best of me.

"What?" Jax asked from behind me clearly confused.

When I didn't immediately answer I felt his hand on my shoulder, trying to turn me around. I pushed his hand away, getting ready to freak out on him but I felt myself get dizzy and I lost my balance. Jax grabbed me before I could fall on the ground. "Savannah? Savannah!" Jax was shaking me

But his voice was just getting farther and farther away…

 _*Happy p.o.v.*_

 _I could hear the roar of Jax's bike accompanied by the prospect in the car. Jax called in a panic about a half an hour ago refusing to tell me anything but to send the prospect to the ice cream shop. I shot the rest of my drink back and pushed myself off the bar stool heading straight to the parking lot. I became more infuriated at what I saw. Jax was walking away from the car with Savannah in his arms and passed out from what I could tell. I marched up to him and before I could demand what had happened to her he cut me off, "Not now man, she hit her head pretty hard and I think she is bleeding where is your medic?"_

 _"Call prez old lady now!" I barked at the new prospect._

 _Then I turned around and followed Jax to the room he was currently residing in. "What happened out there?"_

 _"I don't know, everything was going fine then she got up and ran into the road calling out for her ma. I thought she was dead?"_

 _"That what we know of yes…"_

 _Then it dawned on me what was happening…Fuck! I grabbed at her sweater starting to unzip it but, Jax grabbed my hand and pushed me away, "What the fuck do you think you're doing Hap?"_

 _"You don't understand, she is withdrawing hard. She is hallucinating and she will until she passes it herself but she is going to get hot fast and it's just going to make it worse. Trust me I know what I'm doing, just go get some cold towels and water bottles from the kitchen. And when Lily gets her bring her straight here."_ _I ignored the look on Jax face and continued to take off her sweater and put it beside me._

 _I reached forward to push some hair out of her face when I felt something sticky behind her head. I pulled my hand back and could see the bits of blood on my hand. She had hit her head harder than we initially thought. I pulled her head up a little get a better look at the wound. It wasn't too bad but it was definitely the cause of her fainting. I should have been there…I shouldn't have let her get away. What is this? I don't feel like this with any woman besides my ma…but it's different than that. I may have just meet her but there was something about her, right from the start. But, I'm just her babysitter that's my job and once it's done we won't see each other again. "Happy?"_ _I looked behind me to see Lily and Jax standing behind me looking at me curiously._

 _I looked back at her and laid her head back slowly on the pillow. I cleared my throat and stated "She is hurt more than we thought, she is bleeding from the back of the head."_

 _Lily came and placed her hand on my arm and gently pushed me aside. "Happy I'm going to have to get in here to take care of her, I need space so you and Jax need to go please."_

 _I looked hesitantly at her but, I knew she was right. So with one more look at the girl on the bed I walked out of the room._

 _About an hour and a half of everyone sitting around waiting to hear what happened to Savannah. Lily walked out and looked around the room and chuckled to herself as a few of us stood up the moment she came out. She flipped her keys out and looked between me and Jax. "She is fine or at least physically. Her episodes won't stop when she wakes up, if what Hap says is actually happening to her she will go through this for at least 24 hours. But I believe she is a strong girl and she will make it through it. Keep me up to date on her condition, if it worsens give me a call and I'll come right back here."_

 _We watched her walk to the door just as she reached the door, she turned around and looked at all of us again with a sad look on her face. "Boys it's going to be one hell of a ride for her. She kept crying out for her mother and she started to shake. So watch her but let her walk through this alone, no matter how bad it gets."_

 _With that she gave us one last nod and walked out the door. I think everyone's eyes were on that room, debating if we really should go in there. I was the first one to make that step. I walked over to her bed with Jax, my face dropping at the sight of her. She was sweating and paler since the last I saw her. I was starting to miss her witty remarks that made me so mad…it was to quite without them. I sighed and sat in the chair that was in the room. I told Clay I would watch her and yet here she was._ _It has been three hours since Jax brought her in here. We had contacted Clay and Gem decided she was coming up here earlier than expected. Kozik was in and out of the room but, both me and Jax stayed where we were. I was starting to nod off when I heard her groan and I watched her struggle to sit up and she made it up onto her elbows before Jax pushed her back down, "Whoa there darling you need to lay back down."_ _"Where am I? What happened? Why does my head hurt?" she croaked out, slowly putting her hand to her head_

 _"You fell when I pulled you back from getting hit by a car," Jax answered for her,_ _"What were you doing out there?"_

 _I watched her face screw up before she looked uncomfortable and asked "Can you get me some water, my throat hurts."_

 _"Yeah I can but this conversation is not over." He warned her_

 _Once Jax left and closed the door I leaned forward and I watched her jump in the bed startled. Her eyes scanned over me and she exclaimed with a hand to her chest, "Jesus fucking Christ."_

 _I smirked at her and cleared my throat, "How are you feeling."_

 _"Like utter shit, why are you here?"_

 _"Because I have to watch you."_

 _"Well I don't want you watching over me," she put a hand to her head, I could see her getting worked up, "I thought I made that clear this morning."_

 _"You are stuck with me whether you like it or not. Do you need anything else?"_

 _"Nothing you can give me now can you kindly leave me the fuck alone."_

 _I know the last time this happened in my life, anger just came with the withdrawal, but the disrespect she was showing me was getting on my nerves. I was about to open my mouth to say something back when Jax came in, looking between me and Savannah but he just continued to walk towards Savannah and give her the water. He sat at the edge of her bed and the whole room went silent before Jax tried one more time to ask her about what happened, "So you want to tell me what that was all about now."_

 _"…No."_

 _I snorted and spoke up, "You ran into the middle of the road chasing after your mother who last time I checked was not alive anymore, putting your life at risk and you're telling us no?"_ _I tried not to raise my voice but it was hard._

 _She looked over at me shocked and Jax spoke up trying to take control of the situation, "What I think Happy is trying to say is that you almost got killed today if I wasn't there, we just want to make sure you're okay?"_

 _Her eyes never left mine and I could see how angry she was getting the more we stuck our noses in, "That's my business not yours so when I say no I mean fucking no."_

 _Me and Jax looked at each other and you could tell we were both trying to keep it together. She spoke up again, "Where is my phone? I need to call someone."_

 _"Gone." I replied_

 _Her eyes narrowed into slits, "What the fuck do you mean gone?"_

 _"I mean it's gone, you don't need it you're healing and anyone here that you associate yourself with is not worth the call. So it's gone." I said matter of factly_

 _She got up and started for the door but, Jax got in her way, "You need to rest."_

 _He sounded unsure of himself but he knew this had to happen_ _"No I god damn fucking don't! Let me out of here! You can't keep me here like some prisoner."_

 _I grabbed her arm and tried pulling her back to the bed but, she swung around and shoved me away. I could feel the killer part of me teetering at the edge. But, once more she stood face to face with me and spat, "Who are you to tell me what to do! To you I am a no good fucking junkie that deserves what I get right? That's what you fucking said isn't it? So again why the fuck do you care! Who are you to judge me, you kill people for a living hell your stupid nickname is killer ain't it? I'm not scared of you and I don't want you around me so get out SIR!"_

 _I had enough at this point, she needed to calm down. By this point she was shoving me away at the end of every sentence. Jax grabbed her arms and held her back and nodded his head at the door. I took that as I needed to leave. At this point I think that is the only way she was going to calm down._

 _It was about 16 hours in since she got back here and Jax finally came out. I was drinking some Jack Daniels but, I watched him walk out of the club doors to go outside. I followed him outside and when I caught him sitting down smoking I walked up to him, "She is fine. I finally got her to calm down and go to sleep…now let's just hope it stays that way."_ _I lit up a smoke but, I didn't say anything. "I have to go…ma is on her way and Clay wants me to meet her half way make sure she gets here okay…think you can watch over her?"_

 _I looked over at him surprised by the question. After the episode in there earlier I didn't think he wanted me in there with her. But, I nodded my head and flicked my smoke. Jax stood up and gave me a one armed hug before he rode off._ _I walked back into the room and I sat back down in the chair. I was only there for about ten minutes when I could hear her whimper in her sleep. I pulled the chair closer to the bed and I watched her as she tossed in her sleep. She started to shiver and I leaned forward and pulled the blanket over her. I swear even though I barely knew her she would be helpless without someone there. What she did next shocked me, after I had placed the blanket around her, her hand shot out and grabbed onto my wrist. Damn this girl had a good grip on her but, when I looked back at her I realized she did it in her sleep. For the little I knew about the girl I know so far she has had it tough…but, the road ahead was going to be worse._

 _*End of Happy p.o.v*_

It didn't take long for me to drift off into a deep sleep. I was told that Gemma would be on her way to us and Jax was going to meet her. So he suggested I get some sleep and he pre warned me about Happy coming back in so sleep was not only the only option but the best one at that. I couldn't handle another go around with Happy. But, maybe it wouldn't have been as bad as the nightmare that followed. I was in my aunt's house but, it was dead quite. I could hear whimpering coming from the room down the hall…the room my mother occupied when she was alive. I recognized what was happening almost immediately…this was the day my mother died. The day that I let her…the day I wasn't there. I remember I couldn't take her crying out from pain anymore…I couldn't take seeing my mother like that anymore. I was sitting in the same corner I was that day, my hands over my ears…the tears falling onto the floor. I shut my eyes tight hoping the dream would go away but, then I felt like I was dropping. I looked all around me and it was pitch black. I could still hear my mother crying out for me but this time it was more of a whisper, I crawled towards the sound of her voice. "Mama?"

A strangled cry escaped my throat Then her face was right in front of mine, anger and sadness written all over it. "Why didn't you come to me? I've been calling your name for hours? Why weren't you there when I needed you? You abandoned me I never abandoned you!" she screamed at me.

I fell backwards at her words trying to push myself away from her, but with every word she said she got closer and closer. I could feel my heart breaking at my mother's words. "I'm sorry mama but I couldn't take it anymore! Please mama forgive me!"

"Why did you do it baby huh? You should have been there when I needed you and you weren't. Look what you did to me, to this family!"

At her words the black disappeared and instead I was standing in a field, watching as they carried my mother's casket to the hole in the ground. I could see all the family members that were there with tears in their eyes. I didn't want to look anymore and I shut my eyes to block it out again, trying to turn away. "Don't you look away!" my mother yelled in my ears pulling my face back to the sight before me.

As she did this I could see all the judgmental faces of all the family members pointing straight at me. Then they all started to walk towards me, circling me, taunting me. Saying things like how could you? Your own mother? What did you do with your life? Junkie! And so much more. I couldn't take it anymore so I ran. But, the voices wouldn't stop I tripped and fell to my knees. The voices kept getting louder and louder and I brought my knees to my chest crying out for everyone to stop.

When the voices went away I looked up to see that I was sitting in a hallway with Mike. He had my arm in his hand and I realized this was the first time I accepted the high. Mike looked at me seriously and asked, "Are you sure this is what you want? There is no turning back?"

I looked at him and I know I said yes then but, something in me was broken. Not just the pain of my mother it was what I was running from, from the moment she and on. It was the guilt of not coming to my mother's aid when she needed me. I shoved Mike away from me and tore out of the building. Mike was calling me back to him but, I just kept running. I needed to get to my mom, I needed her and she needed me. That was all I could think. I burst through the door and I slowly walked down the hallway to my mother's bedroom. It was dead silent as I reached her door and I feared I was too late. I slowly inched the door open just to peak in. My mother was there lying perfectly still. To still. I walked to the edge of the bed and fresh tears stained my cheeks and I reached out for her hand. It was so cold, I was too late…just like I was to begin with. I slumped into the chair that was beside her bed, never letting go of her hand and I clung to it. I put my head down and started to sob, "I'm sorry mama, I'm so, so sorry that I wasn't hear when you needed me the most. I should've been here. I love you so much and I miss you so much more. Don't be mad please I'm sorry. I need you mama please wake up…."

As my voice trailed off I felt someone run their hand through my hair and when I looked up I saw her sitting there glowing, just like she was earlier today in the road. She cupped my cheek with her hand and stared me straight in the eyes and wide smile on her face. "I'm not mad my beautiful mouse, I love you and I understand why you weren't here. I needed you to see that though."

"Take me with you mama. I don't want you to go away again."

"Oh baby I was never gone, I have watched everything you have done. You don't need me anymore you have someone who cares, he may not show it baby but he does and you will learn to love him just the same. I need you to take care of him and yourself. Show me that you can come back from this life baby show me that you can move past this and onto a better life."

Was she talking about Jax? Or Clay? It surely wasn't Happy but, I nodded my head either way and she pressed her lips to my forehead before she disappeared. I started to call out for my mother…for her to come back. Then someone's hands was roughly shaking me and I opened my eyes startled but to see Happy face not two inches from mine….surely she didn't mean him…but, somewhere deep down I felt that maybe it could be…


	7. Deal

**{I'm also going to mention now my stories are rated M for not only violence but sexual reasons as well so I hope this does not turn you away from my stories and I'm just pre warning you so you can skip if u want. I love you all so without further delay here is the next chapter, I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my character and anything you do not recognize.}**

It had been two days since I was bed ridden and despite her protests I had yet to meet Gemma. Jax thought to have his mother there would be overwhelming at first. I was nervous to meet Gemma, everyone made her out to seem like this overpowering person and scary at that. I stood in front of the mirror adjusting my hair once more. I was wearing a pair of skinny jeans with the odd rip in them and a loose light grey tank top with a dark brown sweater over top with a pair of laced up black stiletto heels. I then pulled my curls back into a loose bun at the middle point of my head with my bangs and some hair framing my face. I placed some eyeliner around my eyes with some mascara and put some blush on, I normally try to opt for a natural look but the eyeliner and mascara tend to make my eyes pop and I liked that. I heard a knock on the bathroom door and a girl named Cherry who I had taken a liking to over the past few days poked her head in. She stepped up and placed a piece of my hair behind my ear a smile on her face. "Are you ready? Gemma is waiting."

I nodded my head and sighed, "Don't worry, as long as you don't piss her off and you're not trying to chase her son you will get on great. She isn't as scary as everyone says."

I gave her a smile and walked to the entrance where a lady with tall spiked heels, a leather jacket and long wavy hair stood with Jax and she looked annoyed to say the least. The moment I walked into the room everyone went quiet and after a moment you could hear the click of her heels as she walked across the room. She stood in front of me her hands on her hips as she eyed me over. "Your Savannah I take it?"

"Yes."

She clicked her tongue, "Gemma…you're looking better then everyone led me to believe."

"Ma!" Jax tried to call after his mother.

I looked over to him and smiled, "It's okay Jax I understand. I am feeling a lot better with the rest I've gotten but, I can't stay in a room anymore, it's driving me nuts and from what I understand you are taking me shopping for the party tonight since we leave tomorrow?"

She smiled at me and nodded her head. Then she pointed at me and looked over at Jax. "I like her already, she doesn't cower behind a son. Okay baby lets go."

I nodded my head and put my hands in my pockets. I did a quick look around the room my eyes settling on Happy who was sitting at the bar with two blonde croweaters hanging on each side of him, their hands sliding all over his body. I couldn't help but feel a tad bit jealous of them. Over the last two days we had gotten a little closer to each other. I had opened up enough to tell him about my mother and in return he told me a little of his mother and how she had cancer and how so far the odds were in her favor. It may have been an assumption on my part but I thought we could've started something but, who was I to believe that the killer would look at me that way, let alone settle down with one woman. Before I had realized what had happened Gemma was calling my name from the doorway. Jax and her were looking at me with concern so, I shoved my feelings to the side once more and threw a smile in their direction not taking another look in Happy direction.

~~SOA~~

We had been shopping for almost two hours and I don't think the smile ever left my face. I had an arm full of shopping bags and we just sat down for lunch. Gemma was laughing so hard when she said, "So let me get this straight your roommate mistook the magic mushrooms that we're sitting out for real mushrooms and you found him where?"

"In the corner with a bag of chips cradled to his chest crying I might add with the automatic vacuum bumping into him." I said in between laughs

She looked at me once more before bursting out laughing once more. I lifted the berry smoothie to my lips and Gemma face turned curious, "Is there something going on between you and our killer?"

I almost choked on my drink at her sudden topic of discussion. "I'm sorry I don't know what you are talking about, he is just babysitting me."

She grabbed onto my hand holding it tight in hers, "Baby I saw the way you looked at him with those two bimbo's hanging off of him. That wasn't nothing."

I looked at her shocked at what she said I thought he was good looking that's for sure and there was something that was pulling me towards him but, when he's got women like that around him...She let go of my hand and sat back in the chair crossing her legs, "I know that look trust me when I say that those floozies you saw him with is exactly that, they are convenient. But you definitely have your work cut out for you with that son so if you want him you're going to have to make him want you make him need you and I'm going to help you with that."

"What do you mean?"

"The party tonight, we are going to make you irresistible." I knew I was grinning like a fool but the idea of making Happy want me was too good to pass up.

~~SOA~~

I could hear the music and laughter coming from the main room and I couldn't help but be nervous as Gemma wasn't lying when she said she would make me irresistible. My hair was left in tame curls and was teased which in my opinion made my hair look a lot lighter than it actually was. My eyes had a smoked look to them and a glossy pink on my plump lips. I had on a dark gray off the shoulder dress that clung to my body showing off my chest, curves and ass. It ended about halfway up my thighs and I was also wearing open toe wedges that were a light tan color. I couldn't believe how sexy I felt standing there and it felt good. It had been a long time since I felt like this. "You ready baby?" Gemma asked

I nodded my head, "Good now go show them what your made of and baby remember not all the girls here or back home are as nice as that girl your always hanging out with, they're going to test you especially when you're taking their main source if entertainment away."

I nodded my head and took one more deep breath before I left the room and headed for the party. Once I stepped out with Gemma I was greeted with whistles and claps, I felt the heat go straight to my cheeks and I looked around the room for the one man I did this for. He was over by Kozik playing some pool and once my eyes found him, I realized that his eyes were fixed to my body and the same two croweaters were hanging off him once more. I smiled at the fact that I had finally got his attention when I felt an arm go around my waist pulling me into them. I turned to see it was Jax "You clean up good sis."

He passed me a drink and I thanked him quietly. "I'm gonna have to keep my eyes on you tonight make sure your treated right. Ma would have my head if something happened to you."

I giggled and took a drink of the drink he handed me. It was so weak it was ridiculous and I couldn't stop the next words that fell out of my mouth. "What the hell is this?"

I covered my hand with my mouth and looked at Jax to see his reaction. He looked surprised at first until he started laughing and steered me towards the bar. "So what do you want then?"

"Vodka or rum is fine."

"Okay get the lady a drink and not a weak one either prospect."

The young guy behind the counter jumped at what Jax said and I couldn't help but laugh at how he reacts to the orders given to him from the members. Me and Jax had been drinking and enjoying each other's company when Kozik called us to the pool table and I shrugged my shoulders and walked with Jax to see Kozik. "What's up spiky?"

I had taken to making fun of his hair over the last few days and the name just seemed to stick. Kozik slipped an arm around my waist pulling me into him and motioned to the table. "You play butterfly?"

I rolled my eyes at my nickname, he thought since I gave him one it was only right for me to have one and his reason behind it was my free spirit kind of attitude reminded him of a butterfly. "I haven't in years but, I could still kick your ass." I told him

He rose his eyebrows at that and Jax laughed from beside me. "Is that so?"

"Mhm."

"Well then, let's place a wager on that."

"Okay?"

"How about we place a hundred bucks a game?"

Sucker. I nodded my head at his invitation, "You're on, where is a stick? Oh and spiky I break."

He let go of my waist and chuckled, "Here." A deep voice said from in front of me.

That's when I realized that I had completely forgotten about Happy being at the table as well. My eyes found his and he was holding out his pool stick for me to come over and grab. So I walked over and wrapped my fingers around the pool and pulled it from his grip. I could hear the low growl that came from him from this movement and I turned away a blush on my face. "Okay spiky, you ready to have your ass beat by a girl?" I bent over lining the pool with where I wanted to shoot and asked "In your dreams butterfly."

We were about 5 games in and I couldn't count how many drinks. "NO!" Kozik yelled

Jax started laughing and said, "Looks like you lost again Kozik."

I had a huge grin on my face as I stared at Kozik holding the easiest five hundred bucks I had ever got. Kozik's head was on the table as he lightly hit it, then he looked up at me "One more."

I looked at him shocked, "What?" A bubble of laughter escaping my lips

He wanted to lose another hundred bucks? Before he could say anything Happy stood and shoved the two blondes towards Kozik. We all looked at him confused and the girl's whined. "Koz your done take the girls and admit your defeat man and as for you I want to play a round with you. But, instead of money I want to beat on something else."

I leaned on my pole slightly and asked, "And what would this be?"

"If I win you have to give me everything you got from Koz plus the hundred you originally beat."

Did these boys just not know when to give up?"And if I win?"

"If you win I'll let you hit me once."

Everyone around the table went dead quite it was very clear that this isn't something that you ever did to Happy. "Come on don't tell me you wouldn't like to? I know of a few times where you wanted to and almost did it." That was true and I had a feeling I wouldn't lose, "Deal."

We were just down to the eight ball and I was getting nervous he was harder than Kozik and the air around us seemed to be so tense as I watched Happy take his shot. When he just missed by a fraction I had let out the breath that I was holding in. This was it, I had to make the shot or I was going to lose. I walked to the best spot for the shot but, the best shot wasn't going to be easy. If I wanted to take it I had two options, stretch across the table or take a trick shot. After I thought about it I sat on the edge of the table crossing my legs to hold me steady and placing the pole behind me. I took a few deep breathes after I lined up my shot before I took it. It was like everything went in slow motion and I held my breath waiting for my shot to make it. And when it did the whole club went in an uproar of claps and cheers. Next thing I know I'm being lifted in the air by Jax and the president as they put me on their shoulders and cheering about my win. I was laughing so hard I didn't see the amused look on Happy's face. Once I was placed on the floor Happy made his way over to me "Nice shot girl a deal is a deal."

A smile danced on my face and I took off the rings that were on my fingers. I only had one shot but, I wasn't sure how hard I could even hit him. Sure I had been in plenty of fights but with girls and no one like him so I wasn't even sure if it would even faze him. So I figured I'd put everything I had into it. Once my fist connected with his face I was astonished at the impact it had. His face moved to the right from the impact and when he faced me his lip was bleeding even he looked shocked at what I had managed to do. Everyone was quiet and I didn't know whether to run and hide or laugh but, when Happy started to laugh everyone slowly did to. He brought a finger to his lip to touch where it was bleeding. Jax slapped Happy's back and said, "Didn't think she had it in her brother?"

I immediately started to apologize "I am so sorry I didn't mea-"

He held up a hand "No a deal is a deal. Be proud you're the only woman who ever laid a hand on me besides my mother and got away with it."

I blushed and looked down to start putting my rings back on "Hey listen let me at least patch you up?"

"Nah girl I'm okay."

"Please? I'll feel bad all night." He seemed to think this over before he nodded his head grabbing a bottle of rum from his spot. I went to Jax and leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek

"After I think I'm going to go to bed so I can get up early in the morning." He nodded his head to me and walked away.

I started down the hallway to Happy room where I had been staying with Happy himself not far behind me. Once we got in the room I pushed the chair out into the middle of the room and motioned for him to sit down. He looked at me curiously from the corner of his eye while he locked the door to stop people from coming in. Once he sat down I had just come out of the bathroom with a wet towel and some antiseptic just in case he was cut bad and one of those ice packs that you crack and it freezes. I placed it beside him and pulled an elastic from my wrist to pull my hair up and out of my face. "You know you don't need to do this right."

"Just stop whining when was the last time you let someone clean you up? And after all I am the cause of it."

He knew I had a point because he shut up and let me clean him up. I leaned forward and put myself close to his face so I could inspect the cut. I pulled on his lip just slightly and placed the wet cloth there to clean up the dried blood in and around the cut. Once I could see it better and realized it was more of a scratch I placed the cloth down and cracked the ice pack. Then I leaned back over and placed the ice pack there. He flinched at first which made my eyes draw back from looking at his lips to his eyes instead. They seemed to grow darker once more but, not out of anger this time. Just as I try to cover the blush by looking down at his lips I couldn't help but, wonder how his lips would feel against my own. I was startled when I felt Happy hand go to my hair and pull the elastic out. I looked up to him quizzically. He left his hands in my hair and started to pull my hair forward "You look better with your hair down girl."

I pulled the ice pack slightly from his lips and whispered teasingly, "Thanks...sir."

I could see his eyes grow darker if that was even possible and then he abruptly stood up so that he towered over me. He kept taking a step towards me as I tried to back up until I hit a wall. He placed a hand on my hip dragging it up and down my side while he looked me up and down his face getting closer and closer to mine. My heart was racing a hundred miles a minute as I waited for his lips to touch mine. When they were just hovering over mine, where I could feel his breath on my lips I couldn't take it anymore and I crushed my lips to his. His hands grabbed my sides pushing me harder into the wall but, pulling myself closer to him. Happy started to nipple at my lips and I couldn't help but gasp at the contact. He took the opportunity to push his tongue into my mouth and we both battled for dominance but, in the end he won. I pushed my hands under his shirt and started to rub his abs and I moaned from the contact. He ran his hands up and down my hips until they rested at the edge of my dress and when I didn't stop him he started to pull it off which left me standing in just my bra and underwear. I thanked god that I was wearing a sexy lacy red set and judging by his expression he approved. He came and gave me one more kiss before he started to kiss his way to my neck and suck a little on the curve of my neck. He was starting to make me weak in the knees and he placed his hands under my ass to lift me up into his arms.

I wrapped my legs around his middle and Happy turned us around and started to walk to the bed. I entangled my fingers into his shirt and next thing I knew he had thrown me onto the bed. I watched completely entranced as he pulled his cut off and placed it on the chair followed by his shirt. Not only was I now turned on by the sexy man that was standing in front of me but his tattoos had me entranced as well. I was curious as to what the smiley faces that was on the right side of his body but, I didn't care at the moment I just wanted to touch every inch of him. He removed his jeans and shoes and slowly peeled off my shoes. When he got to my underwear his fingers lingered long enough to tease me and I arched my back at the contact. I could hear his chuckle as he leaned down to hover over me and he unlatched my bra and took it off throwing it somewhere in the room. He started to kiss his way to my breasts and I couldn't help but let out a low moan when he took one of my nipples into his mouth and started to swirl his tongue around the bud and at the same time he had moved my underwear to the side and started to slide his fingers up and down my slit. "Mmm…Happy…" I tried to reach out to touch his shoulders and he pulled away and placed my hands above my head and the look in his eyes said not to move. I giggled and at this and he let go with a wide smile on his face as he continued his assault on my breast. As Happy placed his finger into me I moaned once more and felt my release building. Happy realized this and started to go faster and he nibbled on my nipple instead of sucking, "Happy!"I cried out as my release hit me.

After I had collected myself I grabbed Happy shoulders flipping him around onto his back. He grinned up at me as I placed one more kiss on his lips and trailed the kisses down to his boxers. I pulled off his boxers and pulled out his member. It was huge to say the least but, it made me more excited. I licked my way to the top and then slipped it into my mouth. I heard him gasp at my actions and his hands found there was to my head. I started to move and swirl my tongue at the same time and his grip kept getting tighter and tighter until he grabbed my arms and pulled me up so I was sitting on top of him. I felt his member at my entrance and he looked at me once more before easing me on top of him. I cried out with a mix of pain and pleasure and Happy's grip on my hips got tighter the farther he got into me. He let me take a moment to adjust to his length and then he started to push me to move. I swirled my hips and leaned backwards to let more of him in. As I was moving I felt Happy finger move from my hips to my clit where he started to toy with it. I cried out for him and the moment I did Happy picked us both up and laid me on my back while he laid between my legs thrusting in and out harder then I was. I could feel my release building again and I cried out for him to go faster which he happily obliged.

I looked up to face him a moan in my throat when he leaned down not slowing his movements but, he kissed me and forced his tongue into my mouth again. I felt the heat in the lower part of my stomach and before I knew it I was screaming his name my back completely arched and Happy groaned in approval before he reached his climax as well.

As we laid there entangled in the sheets I couldn't help but wonder what would happen in the morning…if I was just another one of them to him…I hoped not I hoped the connection I felt with him was real and that he felt it to.


	8. I Am Not One of Them

**{Hello my lovelies, I'm back with another update! I am still doing my updates based on the amount of reviews, favorites and follows but, In my bio I now have a schedule of the updates but, as it says in there this schedule can change if the request for one story is higher than another so, check it out. I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my own character and anything you do not recognize.}**

 _*Happy p.o.v.*_

 _What had I done? I let out a long sigh as I leaned forward in the shower my hands resting on the wall. I had let my lust and hunger for her get the better of me. I was surprised when she hit me as hard as she did and surprisingly enough the killer side of me didn't want to rear its head. I know it's more than just the lust and hunger I know somewhere deep down it may have some feeling to it…towards her. But, that's the thing its deep down, I couldn't like people like that not with who I am not with what I am. I couldn't do that to someone like her she deserves better. I looked back at the door that led to the room where I left her laying in my bed. She was beautiful laying there and last night she was irresistibly sexy but, I had to keep that to myself. Not only do I know that Jax and Clay would probably have my head if they found out that I touched her but, she didn't need me. I was always on the run…I always would run the risk of not coming home or doing things that she would not approve of or need in her life…she deserved better. I was the killer…I didn't deserve an Old Lady. I clenched my fist against the wall restraining myself from punching it at my next thought. I would have to push her away and I couldn't be nice about it…_

 _*End of Happy p.o.v.*_

I opened my eyes to see a wall in front of me, once I rolled over to see an empty spot beside me. It took me a few minutes to remember why I was there and what I had done. I felt a blush creep up my cheeks and I heard the shower running in the background. I couldn't help the wide smile that crept up my face and I pulled the blankets over my body as I leaned over and grabbed my phone from the stand beside the bed. I got a text from Cherry and a call from Gemma, the text was Cherry asking for details and it said not to lie she saw me disappear into Hap's room and not come back out and Gemma was letting me know she would be there around ten to grab me and to be ready to go and to make sure the boys are up. I looked up at the time and I had an hour to get ready, I started to grab my clothing so I could go get ready. I was just pulling the dress down and adjusting it when I heard the bathroom door open behind me. Happy stood there with his white t-shirt in his hands and his jeans hanging off his waist. I bite my bottom lip trying hard to suppress the girlish giggle that wanted to come out after seeing his abs…I didn't really take my time to admire his body last night and now I was glad I could see it. I grabbed my wedges from the floor and turned to face him just as he was putting his shirt on. "Hey listen I-"I started to tell him

"Shouldn't you be gone?" he asked rather coldly

I scrunched up my face in confusion at his tone, did I do something wrong? "Um…I was just about to tell you that we have an hour before Gem is here and I was going to go get ready and say bye to Cherry…"

"Whatever do what you want." He said uninterested as he reached for his cut placing it over his shoulders.

"Okay what is your issue?"

"I don't have one." He said stepping in front of me

Maybe he just wasn't a morning person? I stepped up closer to him and went to reach for his shirt to place my hand on his chest. But, right before I could his hand caught my wrist pulling it away from him. "Listen girl whatever you think this is…your wrong? I thought we were on the same page last night."

I looked up at him shocked at what he was insinuating. I shoved him away from me and went straight for the door and opened it. Before I took a step out of the room I turned back to face him trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to make an appearance. "I should have known what you were after, I'm not one of those whores and I thought you realized that. If you wanted a toy you should have taken one of the bimbos you had all over you. You deserved that punch last night I hope you feel good about yourself. You're a self-righteous pompous asshole!" my voice rose with every word I said and if my words could spit venom I swear to god he would be covered in it, angry didn't even begin to cover how I was feeling at that moment.

Once I slammed the door and turned around I saw Cherry standing there shock written all over her face. I knew she had heard everything. I could feel the tears finally start to brim my eyes. "So, I suppose I shouldn't ask for details." She said

With a small smile on her face I laughed at that and walked forward whipping away the little tears that had fallen and wrapped my arm around her shoulders steering her towards a room. "Let's get me ready to go."

~~SOA~~

I was wearing a low V-neck black t-shirt with a black and white plaid shirt over top and a pair of light blue tight jeans with slight tearing around the knees and a pair of my dvs skater shoes that where black except the laces which were black with neon green stitching lines. Cherry had braided my hair starting at the top and braided all my hair back into a bun on the top and my makeup was left to be natural. I was looking myself over and I really didn't know what to think, it wasn't too long ago that my hair was a knotted mess, my skin was pale and this clothing was something I would have never worn…I wouldn't be this good looking. Making that change in my life was the best for sure. I grabbed onto the suitcases that I had packed the day before and I walked out with Cherry to meet Gemma. When we walked out everyone was standing outside around the bikes saying goodbye to their brothers and the president was talking to Gemma and Jax. Happy's eyes connected with mine and I glared at him before I walked to Gemma. As we got closer Gemma stepped away and gave me a quick hug and when she pulled away she gave a good look over, "Do you have everything baby?"

I nodded my head and Gemma leaned in and whispered, "I heard by the way you and me have something to talk about now don't we?"

I looked down bashfully and I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me up in the air from behind. I let out a squeal and grabbed onto the arms that were wrapped around me. Once I was on the ground I turned around to see Kozik standing there looking awfully proud of himself. I couldn't be mad at him when he looked at me like that so I let out a small laugh and said "That is one hell of a goodbye hug there spiky."

He looked behind me at Gemma confused and asked, "What do you mean goodbye?"

"You know I'm leaving today right?"

"Yes I do. But, I am coming with you guys. I have some business to take care of in Charming for a bit, I'll be down there with you guys for about a week. Did Happy not tell you?"

I didn't needed to be reminded about Happy, I looked past Kozik to Happy who was watching us with careful and curious eyes. I narrowed my eyes and said harshly "It must have just slipped his mind but, that's okay I wasn't willing to part with you just yet spiky."

He placed his arm over my shoulders and replied, "You and me both butterfly."

"Are we heading out now ma?" Jax shouted over by the bikes

Gemma nodded her head and Kozik started to put my bags into the SUV. I turned to face Cherry and she looked like she was about to cry "Hey now don't do that darling, I will be back I swear I gotta go for a little while though but, I am always just a phone call or a text away."

She put on a smile at that and I had a feeling it wasn't full hearted at the same time. Through the time I had known Cherry I had noticed that she didn't get along with the other girls here. She wasn't like them in my opinion, she was didn't suit this lifestyle and no one here seemed to pay her any mind unless it was another crow bitching at her for taking her son or the son asking for her company. She deserved better and I secretly hoped that some guy whether he be son or not came and swooped her up. I knew she had it tough here but, I knew she was strong when it came to the women so as long as she didn't fuck with the wrong son like I did she would be okay. I gave her a big hug almost reluctant to let her go and gave her a kiss on the cheeks. When I looked back for Gemma I realized that she was with the boys at their bikes giving them each a quick hug and kiss. I walked over to her and the boys giving them the best smile I could muster. Being so close to Happy was fueling my rage once more. I started with Kozik who was on the end and wrapped one arm around him and a quick kiss on the cheek, "Ride safe." I told him with a squeeze to his shoulder.

He smiled at me and I moved onto Jax I did the same thing with him except instead of pulling away, Jax held on for a few seconds longer and whispered in my ear, "Are you okay? Something seems wrong."

I pulled away from him and shook my head subtlety. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and let go of him. "You to ride safe." I cautioned him

"I will, we will be behind you and Savannah?"

"Yeah?"

"When we get back and get you settled at Ma's, I'll make good on my promise?"

The smile that was already on my face got wider, I would finally get to see his baby boy. I nodded my head "That's the smile I wanted to see." Jax remarked

Now it was finally on to the last person who if I could avoid I would but, I didn't want anyone to notice. So I walked over and once I reached him I stared at him straight in the eyes, my eyes never leaving his. I tried not to show my emotions to him just like he was doing with me but, I knew that my anger was written all over my face the closer I got to him. I leaned forward and placed my arm around his neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek pulling away quicker than I had with the other boys. "Ride safe," I told him and then quietly whispered so only he could here, "Sir."

I could see anger flash in his eyes. He got my point, I was pissed and there was no way that I could be nice to him after what he had done. I felt betrayed and when I felt that way at any other point in my life I always got them back and I always hit them where it hurt. For Happy that was his pride, he had a lot of it and I didn't know when or how but, he would regret what he did. I thought that we possibly had something and it wasn't the fact that it was a one night stand thing it was the fact that he had grouped me into the group of crows like I was like every other one of them and I wasn't. I looked over to Gemma who had her eyebrow raised slightly and I gave her a smile and one more to Happy and walked over to her SUV.

We were on the road for about twenty minutes when Gemma spoke up, "So what happened between you and killer?"

"There isn't much to tell." I replied absentminded

"It didn't look like that to me. Is there something I should know?"

I was quite for a few moments "Gemma can I ask you something seeing as you have been a part of this life longer then I have."

Gemma looked over at me cautiously "Sure baby."

"How does a son choose an old lady? Like from some of the stories I've heard most still hung around the club like the crows but, how do they pick the old lady out from a group of them?"

"Well, it all depends on the son," she looked into her rear view mirror before she continued, "There are three types baby, you got the sons like Koz where he has had an old lady where he was stupid enough to take an actual crow, someone who had been passed around through everyone. He kept saying she was different than the rest but, in the end all she wanted was his money and nothing else, she got tired of the old lady bit pretty quick and because he didn't put his crow on her them splitting up was no big deal. Then you got sons like my boy where yes you're right that he did find his wife through the club she hung around to but, unlike Koz she had enough respect to not sleep with any son, she wasn't after the crow she was just looking for fun…unfortunately that led her down a dark path. He still didn't slap a crow on her either but, he wanted to in the beginning before she got into the crank. Then there are men like Hap…who choose not to take anyone whether it be because of the role they play in the club, the fact that they see the mistakes that his brothers make or just because that's who they are. We have lots of men that make the mistakes of taking a croweater but, when someone like you comes along or me for example who value themselves over the standard that the club puts the croweaters at well, that's when you got brothers fighting over you. The men that get the good ones are smart enough to at least pick a girl who is strong and independent they are the ones that last, because trust me hunny to be an old lady is no walk in the park there is a lot of things you have to cope with and rules that you have to follow. Listen when we get there your new, your fresh meat and even though I love them boys I know how some of them are. Some you will have to put in their place and make sure that is where they stay and I can guarantee a run in with a croweater or two. Especially if you have a relationship with one of the guys let alone have sex with one of them…those girls can get pretty nasty especially if the son is a favorite."

"Are they really that bad, none of the girls here seemed that bad."

"That's cuz you were always with that girl and didn't see the looks they were throwing at you. I bet if they could have gotten you alone for even one minute they would have tried to do what they always do. I am going to tell you this now, you put them in their place the moment you let them get the upper hand they will try and put you under them and that baby is not where you belong."

I had heard some stories of what old ladies had done to push the crows from their man and most were not pretty. Gemma reached out and grabbed my hand, "Listen baby chasing after Hap it won't be easy and I don't know what happened there but, he doesn't do anything without a reason."

"We had sex…" I felt Gemma hand flex in my hand and when I looked over she had a small smirk on her lips.

"Well at least the outfit worked, I didn't think it would work that well."

"He told me that was all it was."

"Sometimes that is just the way the ball rolls baby you just learned it the hard way."

She was right on that one I definitely learned that the hard way. I had a real bad habit of letting my emotions get control over my common sense sometimes. But, that wasn't always a bad thing…

~~SOA~~

Charming for the small town it was, was actually very homely. The people from what I could tell seemed nice and unlike some towns I had seen didn't seem to be too worried about having outlaw bikers in their town it was almost as if they felt safer. We had just finished unloading the SUV into the house and we were standing around Jax's bike as we were getting ready to set off towards the hospital. "Bring her back here by no later than five Jaxson she needs to help with the family supper."

If there was anything that I understood it was that being the daughter of the two most important people of the club there were certain things to be expected of me. Things like family suppers were mandatory to attend and help set up I knew that much. On the way Gemma had explained certain things to me about what was expected. I knew there was more than that but, there was a dinner tonight to introduce me to the guys I hadn't met yet and tomorrow there was charity event that the old ladies were hosting so I would be there to set up and entertain and after I had settled in I would be working at the shop full time until I found a different job that I would want but, even then it was expected of me to work when I could at the shop. Jax leaned forward and gave Gemma a kiss on the cheek "I will."

"Tell Abel I said hi?" she asked

Jax laughed but nodded his head and passed me the helmet. "Were going to head back to the shop check in with Clay." Koz said from behind me

Jax just nodded his head and got onto the bike and I did after wrapping my arms around his middle.

I took one more look at Happy before I placed my face onto Jax's back and we took off.

He was adorable and definitely looked like his father. He had his own room separate from the others and when I asked Jax why that was it was so that he could receive the one on one attention from doctors without the disturbance of other babies. I was standing over Abel as Jax was outside talking to some pretty brunette doctor and I smiled wide when Abel's eyes caught mine and he cooed and giggled his little hands swinging in the air at me. I leaned in closer placing my finger towards him and he grabbed onto it tightly. I let out a little laugh and I was so happy in that moment. This moment right here was so worth it in the end, he was so cute and I knew then that I was already growing attached to the little guy. "I think he likes you."

Jax said from behind me slightly startling me in the process. I smiled at him before I turned back to Abel. "Can you pick him up yet?" Jax was standing beside me at this point staring at us with a smile on his face.

"No not yet, doctors don't want to risk anything yet. They want to make sure that he response well to them first and that there are no further issues before we can do that."

"I see. Well I think this is enough as well," I stood up and away from Abel and smiled at Jax, "Thank you so much I needed this."

"It's no problem." I looked past him to the window that looked into the room to see the same doctor looking over a chart with another young male doctor.

I nodded my head towards her, "She is pretty."

"Yeah she is….we used to date."

"She isn't?" I asked without directly asking

"No that's not his mother her name is Tara Knowles but, she is Abel doctor"

I nodded my head and looked between him and Tara and I saw something between them and before I could stop it I asked "You love her don't you?"

Jax looked shocked at my question but, after a few second he nodded his head. We stood together with Abel for a few more minutes before he glanced at his phone and said "Well it's almost five we should get you back."

I nodded my head and leaned forward and placed a light kiss on the plastic in Abel's direction before we left the hospital. As we did I didn't miss the longing look that Tara sent in Jax direction.

~~SOA~~

"Savannah the boys are here! Get your ass out here and be a proper host!" Gemma yelled from down the hall

I closed the drawer to my dresser and rolled my eyes. As much as I enjoyed Gemma happiness I realized quickly that you didn't want to get on her bad side so, I went immediately to the front so she didn't have to come looking for me. Gemma stood at the end of the hall waiting for me and once I reached her she wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into her. "Okay baby it's time to meet the boys."

I watched as Gemma greeted people as they came through the door and as she did this each of them either let me welcome them or I was introduced to. Clay was naturally the first through the house, he gave Gemma a quick kiss and walked over to me "Hey Kiddo, you get here alright?"

"Just peachy." I replied and leaned into him to give him a kiss on the cheek

He let me and walked away after giving me one more careful look over. Next was Jax and he followed suit with Clay allowing me to give him a kiss on the cheek as well. After that was a burly man that had a long beard and a kind expression on his face as he gave Gemma a kiss on the cheek. Gemma brought him over to me and laid her hand on my shoulder "Bobby this is Savannah the newest addition to our family and Savannah this is Bobby."

Bobby leaned in and I gave him a kiss on the cheek his beard tickling me as I did so I let out a little laugh. He looked at me confused before he started to laugh himself. I liked his laugh it was deep almost like something you would think to hear from someone like Santa. He gave me a slap on the shoulder and as he walked past me he said, "You will get use to the beard don't worry."

I let out another laugh as I watched the next guy walk in. He was actually kind of intimidating but, there was something about him that said he could be a lot of fun but dangerous to. He was pretty tall with piercing blue eyes and black curled hair that was pretty messy. He gave Gemma a half hug and a kiss on the cheek and then he looked at me with a mischievous grin "Who is the beauty?"

I felt the heat rush to my cheeks and I looked over to Gemma

"Now Tiggy play nice, she is off limits."

The man she called Tiggy was looking at Gemma confused before he looked to Clay and then to me "Oh…this is Clay kid?"

"Um hey I'm Savannah."

"Tig," he pulled me in for a side hug and kissed the top of my head, I felt like he was someone that would be protective over family and if I understood anything about this life is that even if you're not their blood you are still family to the club, "Welcome to the family beautiful."

"Tig." Gemma warned

He held up his hands like he was all innocent and went to join the rest of the guys. Next was someone I recognized, I was sad to say that his scar was once again the first thing I noticed but, I wasn't so disrespectful to stare at it. I barely talked to him last time with everything that was happening but, I knew he was Scottish and that there was something about him that told me that he had been through everything in life and more. There was not one thing you could tell him that would surprise him. He did the same thing as Tig to Gemma and he looked over at me cautiously before he gave me a hug and whispered in my ear "Lookin better darling, good to see ya again."

I nodded and gave him a hug back. I watched him walk to join the others and then a lean guy came in, what first drew me to him was the fact that his cut had nothing on it like the others. I was confused until I realized that he had to be a prospect because the kid back in Tacoma was wearing the same thing. Gemma placed her hand on his back and smiled at me "This is Half sack he is our prospect if you ever need anything just tell him and he can help you."

I had to suppress my laugh as I looked up at him "Half sack?"

"Name is Kip Epps but, I had…an unfortunate event in Iraq."

"Well I think I may stick with Kip if you don't mind." He blushed but, nodded his head.

I leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the side of the cheek. Next through the door was a older gentlemen that was carrying a oxygen tank around with him and as he got closer I could see his cut said first nine. I was amazed that someone from the first table was still here. There was something about him that told me that he held a lot of secrets and ones he probably wasn't willing to let go off, maybe it was his eyes. Behind him was a really tall man with a toque on and he had a long beard, I couldn't help but see a resemblance in the eyes of the two. He made a grunting sound and nodded to Gemma and the other man smiled at Gemma politely and gave her a kiss as well. "This baby is one of the last of the original 9, besides your dad this is Piney and his son-"

Before Gemma could finish the introduction Jax yelled from behind me "Op!"

We looked back at Jax and I had an amused look on my face as I watched him come around the corner with a wide smile as he gave the guy in front of me a hug smacking him on the back. I could tell they were close and I didn't mean as a fellow brother. Jax turned and smiled at me and slung his arm around my shoulders "This here is Savannah and this is Opie and his dad Piney."

Piney gave me a polite smile and Opie looked me up and down and then looked at Jax "This is the little sister you were telling me about?"

Jax nodded his head the smile never leaving his face and Opie faced me once more "How are you taking the change?"

"It's hard to adjust I got to admit but, I'm sure it will get easier and really it's a better life then I was living anyways." Opie nodded his head and Gemma looked over at me proudly as if I had said something amazing to her.

"I wouldn't say that sweetheart." Piney said under his breath I looked over to him with a confused look but, before I could say anything back Opie placed his hand on his father's back and started to push him towards the dining room. "That's enough dad let's go."

I didn't get a chance to ask what that was about but, before I could say anything Kozik and the man I was trying to avoid walked through the door. I nodded to them offering them a smile and looked pleadingly over to Gemma who nodded her head letting me know it was okay to leave. I went into the fridge grabbing everyone a beer and walked into the dining room. I made a point of avoiding Haps piercing stare and I walked towards the seat I had taken which was with Gemma to my left and Tig to my right. Everyone was asking me questions about my life and I took note that everyone was trying to avoid my past addiction. We talked about my mother and things that I like to do in my spare time and how I liked it in Charming. "So Savannah, besides the arts what kind of a job have you had in the past?" Tig asked curiously

I thought back to my last job, "Well I started to apprentice for about four years under a good friend after my mother's death, it was like an escape but eventually I lost my way after that and I just stopped showing up."

I stood up and started to help Gemma clear the table when Jax asked curiously "What were you apprenticing for?"

I leaned over between Happy and Kozik and smiled at the memories, "Tattooing."

Everyone at the table went quiet and Kozik piped up, "So you have tats?"

"Yes, I have one on my upper thigh which was my starter tattoo on myself and the one on my side and arm is a collaboration of Tyler's work and my own."

The one on my leg was just a simple pink lotus, I did it when I was testing myself on tradition Japanese tattooing, the one on my side was a suicide voodoo doll right on my hip bone with a scythe going through his head and his leg was torn and my arm wasn't completed but we had started to make a sugar skull with some things like feathers in the back ground. Kozik started to inspect the one on my arm and he looked interested in my tattoo before he shook his head approvingly. Then he pointed to Happy, "Hap here tattoos for the club and he is pretty good. Look at her stuff Hap she is pretty good?"

Happy seemed to scrutinize over ever little detail before he looked away and grunted uninterested. I placed the plates on my left arm and a wine cup in my left hand before I turned to look at him "What the hell is that supposed to mean mister big shot."

I saw his face twitch at my comment before he replied, "That shit there is child's play, if you wanted to do that with your life and that's what you did to yourself I can't imagine what you did to others."

I felt the heat rise in my face not because of embarrassment but, because of anger. Everyone at the table was dead quiet and I could faintly hear Gemma calling my name soothingly to come to her. I wasn't listening though, I was done with this guy! Who did he think he was! The next thing I did left everyone shocked including myself. Before I knew it I dumped the wine glass that was still full right over his head. The moment I did he stood up completely pissed and tried to stare me down instead of backing down I stepped making sure there was no space between us and my face as close to his as I could get it as I glared at him. Before words or actions could happen an arm snaked its way through us pushing us away from each other. I looked beside us to see Clay and judging by the look on his face this confrontation between me and Hap was over. Clay looked between us and said, "I think it's time that everyone went home and you should go to bed. Everyone has an early morning for the charity event. Savannah you need to be up and ready by nine and boys remember you need to be there by noon or earlier if you got something else to do."

I was shocked at his words but, I knew he was just trying to diffuse the situation so I stepped away and looked at all of them before I took a deep breath to calm myself down and put a smile on my face, "Thank you all for coming but, he is right I'm tired thank you for coming."

I walked past Gemma and I felt her reassuring hand on my shoulder before I walked to the kitchen and left the dishes. I knew what Clay said was a subtle way of telling me to go to bed. If today was any indicator tomorrow was going to be just as bad. I walked off to my room and got changed into a long tank top and left my underwear on but nothing else. I was just crawling into bed when I knock came to my door. I finished climbing into bed and told whoever it was to come in, when the door opened Kozik's head peaked in. I smiled at him, as much as I liked Kozik I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. "Hey spiky what's up?"

He closed the door behind him and sat on my bed, "Butterfly…do I want to know what's going on between you and Hap?"

"Nothing he was just being ignorant."

"Well if that is all it is then I guess I don't have to worry about you. I am here though if you want someone to talk to."

I nodded my head and gave him the best smile I could muster at the time. His hand reached out and cupped my cheek in his hand rubbing his finger over my cheekbones. I felt like I couldn't breathe I was so surprised at his action. I knew I had to be as red as a tomatoes and he leaned forward slowly kissing the side of my cheek slowly. He gave me one more smile before he left. As soon as the door left I fell backwards onto my pillow and I grabbed the one beside me shoving the pillow into my face as I let out a scream. Kozik couldn't like me…hell I couldn't like Kozik I was still hung up on Happy…but, maybe that was what I needed to move on…could I?


	9. She Isn't Yours

**{I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my own character(s) and anything you do not recognize nor do I own the song in this chapter, that credit goes to Adam Lambert whataya want from me. If you are looking for the song I choose the duet remix of the song (Adam Lambert ft Pink) that is where my inspiration came from.}**

I woke up to Clay knocking on my door, "Hey kiddo, time to get up."

I looked over at the door to see Clay leaning awkwardly in the entrance, like he wasn't sure if he should really be the one to wake me. I reached for my phone and looked at the time and groaned when I realized that it was only seven in the morning. "Why are you waking me up now? I've got like an hour to go."

I pulled the blankets over my head and Clay stepped in the room a little more. He cleared his throat and asked, "I was wondering if you would like to go for a ride with me before you go with Gemma today."

I scrunched my eyebrows together and pushed the blankets away from my face so I could look at him better. I could tell that this wasn't really his idea but, it didn't seem like he was completely against it. That's the thing with men like Clay they have troubles relating with women unless they can do it their own way. I sat up and rubbed my eyes as I said "Yeah. I would like that, can you give me a bit to get ready?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked behind him. "Yeah that's fine, Gemma is making breakfast right now so don't take too long. I'll take you on a ride after and I'll drop you off at nine."

I gave him a smile and waited for him to leave my room before I jumped out of the bed with an even bigger smile on my face. I was eager to do this, if this is what It took to get to know my dad then I would. I started to fly about my room searching for an outfit for today, I was going to have to change again later for the party at the clubhouse but, for now pants were a must. I pulled on a pair of nice black skinny jeans with a form fitting blouse that buttoned up just above my cleavage (so it showed it off but still left something to the imagination) and a forest green cashmere pullover sweater that dipped down just past my chest and folded over itself. I also put on a few bangles on my left wrist and I slipped on my favorite pair of DVS sneakers, which were black high tops with the DVS symbol on the side in neon green and green stitching in the laces. With my hair I bumped up the back slightly to give my hair some volume and kept my waves but, I flipped the hair surrounding my face away so that it gave it a blow back effect. Just as I was finishing up Gemma called me for breakfast. It was a quick meal, as I really didn't have an appetite since I was pretty ecstatic so before I knew it we were standing beside Clays bike listening to Gemma lecture us on being on time for things. Once I swore on my life that I would be there for nine only then did she leave and go back into the house. I looked back to Clay who was squinting up at me as he settled on the bike and handed me a helmet. I smiled and grabbed it from him, I knew this was difficult for the both of us but the fact he was trying was enough. I sat behind him and as his bike roared to life I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his back.

We were riding for about twenty minutes before he pulled over and shut off the bike. When I looked up to see where we were I was confused. We were parked in front of a huge tree that stood just before a cliff that over looked Charming. I got off the bike and placed the helmet on the handle bars after Clay got off. He smiled at me and motioned his hand towards the cliff before he went and sat down on the ledge. I followed him and sat down and looked over Charming. "Me and your mother used to come her a lot when we first started seeing each other. She loved the view." He said softly from beside me

"I can see why she liked it, she was always a sucker for a good scenery."

He grunted but, didn't say anything further. The silence wasn't bad or anything but there was something that was bothering me and my curiosity got the better of me. "Why did you bring me here?"

He rubbed his hands together before he said, "Look I just wanted to make it clear that I didn't intentionally leave you and your mother behind but, when I found Gemma there was no one else for me. I just wanted you to know that I still didn't forget her. If I hadn't found Gemma I would've been with your mother. I also wanted to bring you here because this is where your mother went to think and be alone. I wasn't impressed with what Happy told me that day and I'm still not and I will not be nice about it if I find out that your back in it…the words I will say to you will be the last you hear from me and I will not allow you to stay here."

I nodded my head it was harsh to hear but, I knew it was necessary. It wasn't tolerated from someone that had an image to uphold, let alone his daughter…I didn't need to be told that after everything I went through with everyone else. I wonder what he would do if he found out about Hap and me? He patted the ground beside him before he stood up walking back to the bike. "It's almost nine let get you back to Gemma kiddo."

I looked over the town once more before I got up myself and headed for the bike.

~~SOA~~

I swear to god she had me running around like a bloody chicken. At first it was easy great people and make sure that everyone was doing what they should but, once the boys showed up and with loads of other people I felt like my head was going to explode. People were calling my name left right and center, I was finally taking a well-deserved break in the house. I was standing over the sink pouring myself a glass of water with my one hand gripping the counter. I had my eyes closed trying to block out the noise when I felt someone press up against my back and lean against me, placing their hands on the counter blocking me in. I tensed and looked down at the hands and saw some of the sons rings. I relaxed a little more but still whipped around to greet whoever was doing this. I found I was secretly hoping it was Happy but, when I turned around it was Kozik who was standing there with a goofy grin on his face. "I finally got you all to myself." He whispered

I let out a shaky laugh and slapped his chest, "Jesus you scared me."

He grabbed onto my fingers and laughed with me, "Maybe that was the plan all along."

Once we finished laughing we looked at each other and his hand that was on the counter moved to my hair where he brushed it back out of my eyes and let his fingers start to caress my cheek. It wasn't that Kozik was a bad looking guy and he was a sweetheart from what I could tell but, he didn't make my heart race like Happy did. I knew I was being stupid about everything with Happy after all he made it clear that we were nothing more than a fuck. Maybe if I let myself like Kozik I could move on past Happy and whatever I thought we had. It was obvious how Kozik felt about me, or I at least hoped. I looked down at his chest when his face started to get closer and mumbled. "I think I should actually get back out there...before Gem has my head."

"Mmm." He hummed and his fingers left my cheek, cupped my chin and pushed my face up to look at him.

He was so close to my lips I could feel his breath lightly falling on my own. I held my breath and closed my eyes waiting for his lips to make contact with mine. When they did they were soft and hesitant at first with a subtle hint of the beer he had been drinking. "What's going on here?" I heard a familiar voice say disappointingly from the doorway

Before Kozik had time to react I shoved him away and took a step away from him. I looked up at the doorway to see Jax standing with Happy. Jax stood arms crossed looking like a mix of pissed and curious but, Happy looked completely choked. I looked back at Kozik to see he was leaning against the counter beside me, hands on either side of him as he looked at the boys. "Nothing he was just telling me that Gem was looking for me so...I think I'm going to go and find her now."

Jax looked at me skeptically and Happy didn't even pay me any attention instead his attention was directed right at Kozik. I gave Kozik an apologetic look before I went to leave. As I was passing Jax he grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear, "We will talk about this later."

I tried not to roll my eyes but left anyways.

 _*Happy p.o.v.*_

 _I searched the crowd for the blonde that everyone seemed to be looking for. Before long Jax came and stood beside me shoving his hands into his jean pockets as he scanned over everyone once more. "No luck?" He asked from beside me_

 _I shook my head and moved the toothpick around in my mouth as I looked over to the house where I watched Kozik disappear a few minutes ago but had yet to come back out. I nodded my head towards the house and said, "Maybe Koz had some luck."_

 _Jax nodded his head and we walked towards the house. What I walked into was not what I wanted to see and judging by Jax's reaction he wasn't too impressed either. When we walked in Kozik had Savannah pinned against the counter and they were kissing. It took everything I had not to reach across the counter and rip him off her. But, she wasn't mine and after everything that happened I doubt she ever would be...which is the way it should be. I felt like I was more asking myself than telling but, that feeling was quickly washed away by the anger that was pulsing through me. I could feel the killer in me trying to break away. Jax was the first to speak up. "What's going on here?" Jax asked tilting his head slightly and crossing his arms over his chest_

 _She reacted so fast that if I wasn't so angry I would have found it funny. She shoved Kozik away from her and looked over at us guiltily. When her eyes meet with mine she looked like she did the night she fixed me up. Guilty but, still slightly defiant. Before long she made up a piss poor excuse, "Nothing he was just telling me that Gem was looking for me...I think I'm going to go find her now."_

 _She looked back to Kozik before she came over to us. I wasn't paying her too much attention as my eyes were locked with Kozik's. After she left Jax spoke up first, "All I'm going to say here brother is she just started to pick herself up do not ruin it with your games."_

 _"Who says I'm playing at anything?" Kozik retorted glaring at Jax_

 _I clenched my fists in an effort not to hit him. I have known Kozik for years and if there was one thing I knew was that he couldn't handle a woman like Savannah and he wouldn't treat her the way she deserved not to mention that his idea of partying could lead her back down that road. I was at least man enough to back off, I wasn't doing this to hurt her I was doing this so she would leave people like me and Kozik alone. I wasn't stupid most women who are a part of the family end up with a son but she deserve someone like Jax or Chibs someone who would treat her the way she deserved. I knew Jax was trying to keep his temper down with what Kozik said. Before any of us could do anything we could hear Gemma calling for Jax. He sighed and looked back to the yard but he looked at Kozik once more, "Listen carefully, I don't approve of this but, if I know you and from what I have seen with her neither of you will listen if I tell you not to see her anymore but, I'm telling you this once and once only if you fuck her up or treat her any different than the rest of us I will make sure you never come around here again."_

 _Kozik didn't say anything back and Jax left. I couldn't trust myself around him right now so I went to leave myself but, once I reached the door he spoke up "I don't see why you are so upset after all you don't seem to give two shits about her."_

 _I looked at him over my shoulder and growled but, said nothing. He looked smug at me before he spoke once more, "I don't know what game you are playing at Hap but, if you can't man up and take the step I am then I don't believe that you have anything to be angry about. I will make her mine and you will have to sit there and watch just as you did now."_

 _I grinded my teeth at what he was saying partially because he was pissing me off but partially because what he was saying was true. Before I could do anything rash I walked out of the house to find something to distract me._

 _*End of Happy p.o.v.*_

I had forgot about the awkward situation in the kitchen once I had found Gemma and she immediately put me to work. She placed me in charge of the drinks and snacks for the kids that were there. I was bending over helping a little boy who had wanted a popsicle and when I had stood up to grab another one for a little girl, a brunette women around my age stepped in front of me and ripped the Popsicle from my fingers. I knew she was a croweater just by looking at her, she wore a tight white tank top that clung to her and dipped low to show her obviously pushed up breasts and a pair of short shorts. She leaned over close to me and stuck the popsicle in her mouth and glared at me, I knew she was going to be trouble. So I grabbed another popsicle for the little girl who looked like she was ready to cry and sent her on her way before I addressed the woman in front of me, "Is that what you girls are good at now? Taking candy from little girls."

I placed my hands on the table and leaned forward slightly. I had yet to have someone confront me yet but, Gemma words rang clear through my head. She smiled and pulled the popsicle from her lips with a pop. "I don't see what the big fuss is over you, you're so plain and boring I don't see the threat the other girls are talking about."

I smiled at what she said, at least the others I wouldn't have to worry about, "Is that so? Maybe you shouldn't jump to those conclusions so quick darling."

I reached forward and grabbed the popsicle from her once more and threw it into the garbage. She glared at me and threatened, "Careful who you play with around her little girl. Even if the men looked at you it's because they are desperate enough to do it, because it's women like me that they want."

I could see Gemma watching us closely from over this chicks shoulder and I remembered where we were...no matter how much I wanted to punch her in her clearly fake and overdone face, there were kids here and this was an event where I couldn't do anything about it. I hated it but, it was true so I bit the inside of my lip and glared at her. When she saw that I wasn't going to fight back she gave me a smug smile and leaned over to the popsicles and grabbed another one. I watched as she walked away and Gemma walked up beside me placing a hand on my back and rubbed softly, "Don't let her get to you baby you will have your chance to put her in her place but, you made the right choice."

I nodded my head and said, "I need to go grab some more ice."

I started to walk back towards the house but Gemma grabbed my wrist and spoke to me, "No more ice in there, gotta go grab it from the deep freeze in the garage."

I was kind of glad that, that was where I had to go instead, I had no idea if the boys were still in there or if Kozik was...I gave her a smile and walked towards the garage. Once I got in there I grabbed the ice and rested my head on the outside of the packaging. I swear my head was ready to burst from everything that happened in the last hour I couldn't help but, ask myself what else could go wrong...clearly I had spoken to soon. Just as I was thinking that I heard a crash as the door opened and a light giggling echoed through the room. I spun around to see the girl from earlier with her hands wrapped around Happy neck as she drug him into the garage and their lips were locked together. I tried not to gag at the site and not to lash out at the bitch. She was really pushing it now, I may be trying to move on from him but, this wasn't the way I wanted to do it. I cleared my throat and she pulled away from Happy and smiled at me. I knew then what game she was playing at and I narrowed my eyes at her. Happy rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat, "Savannah..." He addressed me

"Oh um oops...I didn't realize someone else was in here." The girl cooed at me

I rolled my eyes at her, she had obviously planned this. I gripped the ice tightly and walked to the door, "Don't mind me I was just leaving."

I placed the bag on my hip leaving both of them behind, if she thought she was winning she was sorely mistaken. I only made it to the table when someone was calling me once more. "What!" I snapped impatiently

When I had turned around I saw everyone and I mean everyone looking at me. Everyone was crowded around Bobby and he had an acoustic guitar on his lap. I looked to Clay and Gemma for answers and Clay cleared his throat and pointed to Bobby who was smiling at me and offering his guitar to me. "I visited your aunt before I left Tacoma and she was telling me that besides your tattooing that you loved to sing and play guitar and that you were pretty good at it even made your own songs."

He wasn't wrong and judging by everyone around me I really didn't have a choice. Even if I did I don't think I would say no, music was my escape when my world was falling apart and with the day I was having it could make it better. I grabbed the guitar and sat in the chair Bobby was sitting in and strummed my fingers over the stings once trying to decide the song I was going to be singing "Any requests?" I asked not really knowing which one to sing

"How about the last song you wrote." Kozik said from beside Clay

When I looked over there I realized Happy and that girl had emerged from the shed and were with them as well. The last song I ever wrote...great they had to pick that one. I took a deep breath before I started,  
Hey, slow it down  
Whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
Yeah, I'm afraid  
Whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
There might have been a time  
When I would give myself away  
(Ooh) Once upon a time  
I didn't give a damn  
But now here we are  
So whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
Just don't give up  
I'm workin' it out  
Please don't give in  
I won't let you down  
It messed me up, need a second to breathe  
Just keep coming around  
Hey, whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
Yeah, it's plain to see  
That baby you're beautiful  
And there's nothing wrong with you  
It's me, I'm a freak  
But thanks for lovin' me  
Cause you're doing it perfectly  
There might have been a time  
When I would let you slip away  
I wouldn't even try but I think  
You could save my life  
Just don't give up  
I'm workin' it out  
Please don't give in  
I won't let you down  
It messed me up, need a second to breathe  
Just keep coming around  
Hey, whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
Just don't give up on me  
I won't let you down  
No, I won't let you down  
So Just don't give up  
I'm workin' it out  
Please don't give in  
I won't let you down  
It messed me up, need a second to breathe  
Just keep coming around  
Hey, whataya want from me  
Just don't give up  
I'm workin' it out  
Please don't give in  
I won't let you down  
It messed me up, need a second to breathe  
Just keep coming around  
Hey, whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me

When I had wrote the song it was supposed to be for my life and all the people I was losing but, now singing it seemed to take on a different meaning, after all the things I was going through with Happy and my new life.

~~SOA~~

Before I knew it the event had ended and I was now standing in the bathroom with Gemma getting ready for the party tonight. I had on baby blue shorts and a cropped tan sweater top that ended just above my belly button and a pair of open toe blue wedges that had ribbon cross lacing up to the top part of the shoe where it joined together by a button. I had braided my bangs and the top part of the right side of my hair and pinned it in the back and straightened out the rest. Gemma stood behind me and pulled my hair over my shoulders and she smiled at me in the mirror, "So, want to tell me what that was all about today? Was it all too much for you?"

I smiled, turned around and leaned on the counter. "That wasn't it, how did you get into this life? Like how did you deal with those girls and the men?"

"Well there really about the same, if the man wants you enough he will fight to have you and being who your family is that's a given. Now as for the crows and I'm just going to go ahead and guess it has something to do with Chantel that has been glaring daggers at you all day? Well each of us deal with them in our ways but, the girls normally don't go down without a fight. The only way I can explain it is you have to show them that you're not to be messed with and you have to do it in such a way that will show the others not to mess with you either. Remember baby they are a bunch of plastic, desperate fakes that will do anything to get with one of the boys. Your better than them and he knows that."

I looked at her like she was crazy and she laughed walking into the dining room. I followed her and asked, "How did you-"

"I see more then you think."

Before I could ask her anything else Clay walked into the room and wrapped an arm around her waist, "Are we ready to go finally?"

Gemma winked at me before she nodded her head and we headed out to the clubhouse.

~~SOA~~

The clubhouse was in full swing when we got there and Gemma and Clay left to make their rounds. I stood in a corner of the clubhouse with a drink in one hand and I was beyond nervous and couldn't help but, search the crowd for his face. Before I could finish looking for him another voice called out for me. I turned around to see Jax and Kozik coming towards me. Kozik wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me towards him and I swung my arm around his shoulders but, I didn't miss the warning look that Jax was sending Kozik. Jax had one of the crow eaters hanging off him and I had to stop the disgusted look that wanted to break across my face. "So Savannah how are you enjoying your first party here?" Kozik asked

I couldn't help but, notice how close he was to my ear and I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks as I thought about the kiss earlier today. I covered it up by laughing and saying, "Well I wouldn't really know I just got here and all. But, it's not bad so far."

Tig not being to terribly far from us sauntered over and joined the conversation, "That's because you haven't seen anything yet princess. Let Tiggy show you a good time."

Jax punched Tig in the arm and Tig looked at him with feigned innocence before facing me again, "I was kidding."

Then Tig looked at Kozik as if seeing him for the first time before a scowl replaced his features, "Well, blondie what do you say we show her a good time."

I laughed nervously, it was getting tense in here and Kozik tightened his grip on my hip. I leaned into his ear and whispered, "Spiky? You're hurting me."

He stop squeezing and looked at me shocked but, once I gave him a reassuring smile he faced Tig again. Before either of them could speak up Jax stepped between them pointing to something outside, "You know the rules."

I looked outside to see him pointing to the ring that was set up there, "What do you say blondie?"

Kozik looked at the ring and Tig once more before he walked outside, I rolled my eyes and followed the men outside. I pulled some smokes from my back pocket and lit one as I watched them get in the ring. I stood at the corner Kozik was in and once he was in the ring he came over to me and Jax and gave me his rings. He leaned over and said, "Can I get any luck from my butterfly?"

I instantly blushed and looked around me. When I looked at him it seemed like his eyes made contact with someone else as they grew darker. I went to see who he was looking at before his fingers grabbed a hold of my chin and pulled my lips to meet his. This kiss was different than the last, it was urgent and more as if he was showing off but as soon as it happened it was over before I could say or do anything. Kozik gave a smug smile to whoever it was and stood up, I heard a deep growl come from behind me and I jumped startled and looked behind me to see Happy and Chantel standing there. She looked at me uninterested and that same look from this afternoon was all over his handsome features. I looked back to the ring and Jax was looking my way and he didn't look impressed and as he climbed into the ring to say the rules he walked over to Tig and said something else. "Alright boys I'm sure by now you know what's against the rules but if the past says anything at all you guys can go for hours so we are putting a limit on this, whoever hits the ground first or taps out is the loser."

As soon as Jax finished speaking the boys tapped fists and started fighting. I took a drag from my smoke and watched as the boys fought, you could tell this wasn't their first round about together but, Tig still had the upper hand. Kozik was throwing in some pretty good shots but, in the end Tig won. Kozik had gone to throw a punch at Tig's left side but, had lost his footing and ended up giving Tig the shot he wanted. Tig punch him in the ribs and then proceeded to throw him to the ground. Tig roared at his win with his fists in the air and Kozik sat up on the floor with one arm resting on his knee as he caught his breathe. "Looks like your boy is exactly that a boy." A voice whispered in my ear.

I didn't need to turn around to know who did it. I would know that voice everywhere and the heavy vanilla perfume that caked her always let me know it was her. My eyes narrowed into slits...she was really getting on my nerves. I could hear he heels clacking across the pavement as she walked away with Happy in tow. I threw away the last of my smoke and shot back the rest of my drink just slightly aware of the buzz I had going on and walked over to meet Tig and Kozik who were hugging as I reached them. Tig pointed to his cheek like I was expected to give him a reward and at that moment I didn't care. I laughed and leaned forward and gave him a light peck on the cheek, he smiled at me before ruffling my hair and grabbed the first croweater he saw before leaving. I looked back to Kozik and had to put my hand in front of my mouth to cover my laugh. I knew that Tig had got some good hits but Kozik was already starting to bruise from the one that connected with his left jaw. I grabbed onto his hand and started to take him back inside, "Well let's get some ice on that before it gets worse."

He didn't object and allowed me to bring him to the couch and I grabbed him a beer and some ice from the bar making a point of ignoring Happy at the counter. I sat down on the couch and leaned forward to put the ice on his jaw. He winced "I guess that's what I get."

I looked at him confused, "What do you mean?"

"Tig was harder on me than normal and I'm sure Jax had something to do with it."

He didn't seem mad more like amused and I looked to Jax who was around the pool table sneaking looks at us. I remembered when he spoke to Tig before and what Gemma said and I realized what he had done. I laughed and looked back to Kozik and shook my head, removing the ice to look closer at his jaw. I placed the ice back on his jaw and got up to leave. He grabbed onto my wrist and pulled lightly, I looked back at him and smiled, "Don't worry spiky I'm just grabbing myself a drink and I'll be back."

He nodded his head and reluctantly let go of me. I got to the counter where Juice was making his own drink and I winked at him, "Hey Juicy can you make me whatever you're having there."

He looked down bashfully before he started to make my own. I liked teasing him, in my opinion Juice had yet to come out of his shell but, that's what made him who he was. What separated him from the other men. He slide the drink over the counter to me and I gave him a smile as my thanks. "Well aren't you greedy?" Chantel had remarked from beside me

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my drink before I turned to face her. She was basically sitting on Happy and when his eyes caught mine they were almost cautious of me. I gave her a smug smile and before I could stop myself I said, "Oh and I'm the greedy one and here I thought that flaunting yourself and having sex with every son you can get your claws into was greedy? Oops my mistake."

She looked shocked and angry at my words "Truth hurts don't it?" I asked before I turned to walk away  
apparently I misunderstood how angry I had made her exactly because next thing I know I was falling to the ground my face hitting the ground pretty hard. I could hear her and a couple other crows laughing and I could faintly hear Happy laughing in the background as well. I pushed myself up onto my knees and I could taste the copper in my mouth. I rose a hand to my lips and when I pulled my fingers away there was blood leaking through my fingers. That was it, I didn't care anymore she was going to learn the hard way. I stood up on my feet and turned around to come face to face with her, "I thought I would remind you of where you belong." She remarked

She turned around to face Happy who looked amused, to say something but before she could open her mouth to say another word I grabbed the back of her head and shoved her face into the edge of the counter. I let go of her just so she could fall back to the floor where she laid there crying in pain, I knelt down and grabbed her cheeks between my fingers, forcing her to look at me. "Remember this well sugar tits, this is nothing I can and will do worse next time you if you try to cross me."

I roughly shoved her away from me but my anger towards Happy was still there. I stood up to face Happy and before anyone could stop me my hand swung out and I slapped him across the face with a sharp sound, Happy stood up from the stool he was currently sitting on and then a broad back was standing in front of me, "Get out of my way spiky." I warned

He laughed nervously and looked back at me "What do you have against killer here?"

"I don't know sir do you care to enlighten everyone and that slap was for laughing at me with the whore you have attached to you." I mocked Happy who seem to grow even more furious at my words

"Really? I never took you for someone who cared about these things." Kozik said smugly with his arms crossed against his chest.

"I never said I did, if you have to know I was laughing because I knew what was coming to her and what do you care she ain't your old lady." Happy growled at us

Kozik stepped up to be level with him "Yet."

I looked at Kozik shocked at his statement and so did Happy before the darkness took over his eyes and a deep growl came from him. "What? You got something to say big man? Remember what I told you earlier today."

"What?" I asked stepping in between them, "What did you guys talk about?"

Neither of them said anything as they stared each other down. It was dead quiet as they did so and I was getting worried. A sound came from behind me indicating the entrance door was being opened and I looked back to see Clay and Gemma standing there just as confused. "She isn't yours." Someone growled beside me

In the second it took me to look at them I was being pushed back away from the men and fists were flying.


	10. Fuel the Fire

**{I do not own Sons of Anarchy only my own character and anything you do not recognize.**

 **By the way once more this story is rated M and if anyone has any pointers on those sections feel free to message me or review. I am just getting into these parts in my stories so I'm not sure what's good and what's taking it to far. Enjoy guys!}**

I wasn't sure who I was more pissed at, at this point. The boys for fighting in the clubhouse or Clay for sticking us in church by ourselves. That's right, Clay broke up the fight and stuck all three of us at the table and left, telling us that he would be right back...it's been an hour of silence and a staring contest between Kozik and Happy. Kozik and Happy sat directly across from each other and I sat at the back in between the two. I crossed my arms across my chest and slumped farther into the seat, I still wasn't exactly sure what happened back there but what I did know at this point was that my lip was starting to finally hurt after my fall."Why don't you speak up and tell her huh? Or would that cramp your style killer?" Kozik finally spoke up

Happy stood up and kicked his chair back and Kozik stood up as well. Before another word could be said though the door slammed shut and Clay voice rang clear through the room with more authority than I had ever heard, "Sit down and shut your mouths!"

It was obvious he was pissed and both of them sat down, though there staring contest seemed to be going on once more. I rolled my eyes but, didn't leave my position and Clay walked to the front of the table and fell down into his chair. He looked around at all of us before he leaned into the table and hit it hard. I jumped slightly but, both of the guys stopped staring at each other to pay attention to Clay. "Do one of you want to let me in on what that was exactly out there?"

"Which part? I was just putting the bitch in her place." I replied honestly

"Now is not the time to be a smart ass Savannah." Clay lectured

"Just some unresolved problem, won't happen again."Kozik spoke up

"Your god damn right it won't. I will have order in this clubhouse, this is not Tacoma and I will not put up with the bullshit. I do not care who started it, take it to the ring if your gonna start swinging. As for you little lady if you want to put a crow in her place then all the power to you but outside."

After Clay was done his reprimanding, he stood up and wandered over to us standing beside me. "Do all of you understand?"

We all nodded our head except Happy. "Your all band from the party tonight. Kozik go to your dorm room, Hap drive Savannah home. Me and Gemma are sticking here for a bit. We will be home in a couple hours."

Kozik looked as if he wanted to punch someone and truth be told I wasn't in any better of a mood. Kozik stood up and stormed out of the chapel. "Why can't I just stay here is Jax room?" I asked, squirming slightly.

"Because you have done enough damage for the night." Clay replied

He gave me a quick pat on the back and left the room as well. Happy removed his keys from his pockets and walked out the door, I took this as my cue to leave with him. I stared at his back and shoved my hands into my pockets as I followed him out. He still had yet to say a word at all and I wanted to scream at him to give it up and tell me what that was all about in there but, I knew it would be useless. I took the helmet he offered me and wrapped my arms around his stomach. He was just in his white shirt tonight and I could feel his muscles tighten when my fingers landed on him. I smirked and placed my body against his back as he drove away.

~~SOA~~

It was a quiet night as we pulled up to my house and I didn't say anything as he shut off his bike and I got off, handing him back his helmet. His fingers brushed mine when he took it back and I watched him tense slightly before he pulled his hands from mine. I cleared my throat and started to walk to my door. "Thanks for the ride Happy." I mumbled just loud enough he would hear me

I only took two steps when he finally said something, "What do you see in him?"

"Who? Kozik? What I do in private is none of your business and who I choose to spend my time with and why is not your problem either. You made that very clear." I told him when I turned to face him

His face turned hard and his eyes grew dark. "It is my business." He stated flatly

"No it is not! It could have been your business if you cared enough to not throw me to the side like some piece of trash. But, you did and now because Kozik is paying attention to me because he doesn't see me as garbage, now you care! Well that isn't how this works buddy you can't have everything your way big boy. Now go back to your fucking croweaters and alcohol cuz you sure don't need to be here anymore. Babysitting is over!" I shouted at him before I stomped my way up to my front door, unlocking it and slamming it behind me.

I pressed my back against the door and hung my head. I couldn't tell if I was pissed because he was sticking his nose where it didn't belong or if I was happy that he seemed to care...but, that would involve hope...hope that he crushed that night. I pushed myself from the door and dragged my feet to the freezer, grabbing a pack of ice and placing it on my now sore and swollen jaw and lip. I walked to my room and grabbed the first set of sweats and tank top I saw. I shed my clothing and walked to my bathroom so I could inspect my wound better. I closed the door and leaned against the counter, removed the bag from my face. It was definitely going to bruise, stupid bitch. I looked down and gripped the counter as I remembered everything and I laughed a little. If this was all I got from that well, I was in better shape than Chantel. I could hear my door opening and I looked up panicked. I forgot to lock the door and I knew it wasn't Gemma or Clay, both of them would announce their arrival and they wouldn't be quiet about it either. I looked around me quickly for anything to protect myself with and I couldn't find anything but the most solid thing I could find was my curling iron. I gripped it in my hand and scoffed at myself, maybe I could poke his eye out or something. I stood in front of the door, my hand hovering over the handle and the iron raised above my head. After a few deep breathes I pulled open the door and jumped out of my bathroom to attack the person in my room...this person being Happy who now stood with in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest and an amused look on his face. "Jesus Happy! What the fuck?" I yelled, shaking the curling iron at him

"You thought that would protect you from me?" he asked with a wide grin on his face

I looked down at the curling iron in my hand and shook my head. I felt silly and I started to laugh, I threw it into the corner and looked up to Happy. I placed my hands on my hips, "Well, what are you doing here I thought you left."

"No, you left and you left before our conversation was done."

"I am pretty sure I put an end to that conversation did I not? I figured you would have understood that."

"I need to talk to you and I want you to listen to me." he told me, walking towards me

I raised my eyebrow and watched him carefully. I was curious now, "You're not just a sweet butt Savannah. I know I treated it like that the other day but, you deserve better than a man like me. I let myself get out of control and I took advantage of your innocence something I shouldn't have done. I have a bumpy road that I walk on, one I never thought to bring another person along with me. I live a dangerous life but, so does Kozik. I tried to push you away to someone else, even if it was a fellow brother. I wanted someone to take care of you and make sure you walked the right path. Me and Kozik...we don't do that."

I could feel the tears start to brim my eyes as I listened to him. I didn't want to hear this, I wanted to except that he was an ultimate douche bag so I could move on. I shifted my weight and looked down to the ground."Well, I found Kozik...it's my choice why would you care...you didn't care before." I mumbled

I knew I was being stubborn but, what else was I going to say? Accept the fact he had sex with me just to throw me aside even if it was a lie. "I don't do the romance thing, hell half of what I have done since I met you was wrong. I don't kiss women and I don't make sure they get pleasure to. The sweet butts are there to pleasure me not the other way around. I also don't care what happens to them, just like today when you threw that blonde around like a rag doll, not once did I care. I cared that you were hurt," Happy now stood directly in front of me and his fingers traced my bottom lip pulling gently on it to look at the cut while he continued to speak, "But, when I saw you with Kozik...him hanging off you, kissing you and you taking care of him. I'll admit I got jealous."

I was trembling under his touch and his face was getting closer to mine and I wanted to push one last button, "But, I thought Kozik said I was going to be his."

"Mine." Happy growled and pushed his lips against mine.

I gasped at the contact but, this time was different then the last. It was passionate and urgent like he was proving that I was his, like he was proving a point. Happy walked me backwards to my bed and when my knees hit the edge, I fell backwards with Happy following. Happy's hands roamed my body and he gently pushed against me. I could feel his member pressing against me and I separated from him to take off my tank top. He pulled his shirt off after and I crawled backwards to give him more room on the bed. He climbed up the bed after me and his hands rested first on my breast, giving them a firm squeeze. I wiggled under him and I felt him smirk into the kiss. I bit his bottom lip pulling on it slightly and he growled in response. I let go off his lip as his fingers gently grazed stomach just above my pant line. I let a small breathy moan escape my lips and his one hand made it way slowly into my pants. His fingers sliding gently across me, when he felt how ready I was for him, he groaned and pulled away slightly, "Savannah...Are you sure this time?" he asked

You could tell he didn't want to ask the question but, he did for my sake. I kissed him as my response and his fingers pulled my pants down. I stuck my hand down between us and undid his belt. He sat up on his knees and helped me pull the rest down. Once we were both completely naked, he stood there on his knees in front of me, two hands beside my head and just hovered over me for a few moments. He gave me a huge smile before he started to lick and suck at my neck. I let out a giggle but, also came across as a moan. He started to kiss his way back up to my lips as he steady himself at my entrance. I placed my hands on his neck and jaw pulling him closer to me as he entered me. Once he completely filled me, I let out a muffled moan and arched my back. He held still for a moment before I rolled my hips to give him the okay to move. It was like we were in complete sync with each other, with every deep thrust he made, I rolled my hips to meet them. Before long we were increasing our speeds and I could feel my release building in the pit of my stomach. I cried out for him as I hit my release and he groaned right after. With a few more urgent thrusts, he to climaxed and he rolled onto his back pulling me close to his chest.

I laid there for a few minutes before I pulled away, rolled onto my chest beside him and looked at him. His fingers danced up and down my arm and I asked, "What does this mean Happy...it didn't sound like you were open to anything serious between us and I will not be a booty call."

He let out a deep husky laugh and he shook his head, "I don't know where that leaves us right now, we will take that one step at a time. I think you should know more about me and this life your walking into before you jump into it. Like I said earlier my life isn't peaches and rainbow shit."

I nodded my head and looked down to my fingers. I started to play with them absentminded, I knew he had a point but, what if he decided we were done after he got to know me. I had no idea how I would take that again. His fingers left my arm and he cupped my chin, "Don't make that face, I'm not saying anything for certain. We will just keep this on the low...just between me and you think you can do that?" I nodded my head and rolled back around so I could lay on his chest for a few minutes more.

I knew he would have to leave soon, if we were keeping this on a down low then obviously Gemma and Clay couldn't know. His hands rested on my side and I asked teasingly, "So does that mean no more Kozik?" he slapped my ass and I gave a quick yelp and giggled.

I could feel my eyes become heavy as I made shapes over his chest and abs. "Thank you Hap..for coming back for me."

"I have always come back for you haven't I?" he asked as I started to fall asleep A smile crept onto my face and I drifted off to sleep.

 **{I know this one was short but, I don't want to get into the next bit because, I am now starting to get into the season so, the next update will be longer I promise.}**


	11. Fireworks

**{Hey guys sorry for the long anticipated wait. I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my own character(s) and anything you don't recognize.}**

The week so far was uneventful being as most of the boys had left for Nevada, including Happy. But, now that the boys were back, I barely saw any of them and I had yet to actually see Happy. The night he came back into town, I was with Gemma and Abel and I had talked to him on the phone but, nothing more than that. To be truthfully honest, I missed him. Today we were setting up for Gemma fundraiser and apparently being a part of this family meant being a part of all these things no questions asked. Gemma had me on a run for food and I hip checked Gemma car door shut. I adjusted the bags on my hips and walked around the school towards Gemma. She looked to be in a serious conversation with a short haired brunette. As I got closer the brunette walked away and Gemma watched her carefully, I set the bags on the table and asked "What was that about?"

"Her kids dad wants to come to town to see him play." Gemma replied while she ruffled through the bags

I rose my eyebrow, "What is the big deal about that?"

"Well baby...let's just say the club and him aren't on good terms. He was a part of club and now he isn't." Gemma whispered

"That bad hey?"

Gemma nodded her head and I turned around to see the woman just disappearing around the corner of the building. I bit my bottom lip as I thought carefully on what that could actually mean. Until Gemma spoke up to me and Luann. "Hey, I got to go see Clay think you can finish up here with Luann?"

"Sure." Luann and I replied

Gemma gave Luann a hug before she came around the table to give a hug and kiss on the cheek. "When you're done here, come back to the shop. Me and Clay got a surprise for you for getting better."

I looked at her confused but, agreed none the less. "Oh, and I need you tomorrow for a gig." Gemma told me as she started to walk away

"And what's that?" I asked

"I want you to sing and play the guitar for the kids, maybe see if Bobby wants to join you a little to."

I let out a short laugh, knowing full well that once Gemma made up her mind on something there was no changing it.

~~SOA~~

It wasn't long before I reached the club house again, thanks to Luann. I couldn't help but, look for Happy's bike hoping that I could at least catch him here. Unfortunately it didn't look like I was going to see him at all either. I thanked Luann for the ride and hoped out of her car going straight for Gemma and Clay who stood outside of the office. Clay gave my back a pat and Gemma looked ecstatic, "Okay, guys what's up?" I asked

"Well kiddo, let's show you." Clay said

Gemma wrapped her hands around my eyes and guided somewhere. From what I could tell it was over to the garage door but, I wasn't one hundred percent certain. I knew I had a ridiculous large smile on my face as I couldn't hold my excitement in any longer. It felt like forever when Gemma finally pulled her hands away and placed them on my shoulders. My smile grew even wider as I looked at a alloy-metallic silver 2007 mustang gtr. I let out a joyful laugh and walked towards the car. Gemma walked forward and stood beside Clay as they watched me marvel over the car. "We figured you deserved it after helping out and getting clean and staying that way. But, realize I will take it back if you don't keep up with the good work."

Gemma smacked Clay in the chest and he grunted and rubbed the spot she hit. Gemma walked up to me, arms open for a hug "We thought that you may want something of your own instead of relying on everyone all the time."

"Thank you so much." I told them

I accepted the hug that Gemma had offered and went and gave Clay an appreciative hug. When I pulled away from Clay he let the keys dangle from his fingers. "Don't get pulled over now kiddo." He warned

Before I knew it I was cruising down the highway seeing how fast my new baby could go.

~~SOA~~

The car was the best thing I had ever received and I drove it for hours, even had to gas up by the end. I had to be serious now though, today was the day of the fundraiser and I was already running behind. I scooted around the house in search of clothing. I choose to wear a pair of light blue skinny jeans with a navy blue button up blouse and a black pair of flats that had a small bow on the toe. I left my hair down in waves with my side bangs down so it covered my one eye almost. The thing that was making me actually late though was my acoustic guitar. In all the boxes I had received from my aunt not one was labeled and I had no idea where she put it. Once I did find it I ran out of there like a bat out of hell. When I pulled up, I pulled up beside a grey truck that screamed I have a small penis but I make up for it with my big bad truck. The people in the truck were no better, a blonde guy in it with some blonde bimbo that looked half his age. I got even more curious when I hoped out of my car and saw the same lady from yesterday pulling him sharply away from the kids he was hugging. I continued to walk away not trying to pry and I saw Jax, Tig and Bobby. I wandered up and gave each of them a hug and looked back over to the guy, "So, that's him?" I asked

Tig looked over at me shocked, "What do you know about Kyle?"

"Only what Gemma told me about. Said he was kicked out for something? Told me to stay clear of him and make sure you boys do to. So let's go check in with Gemma."

"Oh you're gonna keep me in line? I like it when a woman tells me what to do." Tig said with a sneaky smile on his face

I gave him a quick punch to the arm and started to push them towards the school. Once I realized that Jax wasn't following I turned around "Are you not coming?"

"I'll be right in sweetheart, don't worry. Let ma know that I'm here and that I'm on guard duty."

I nodded my head and I sent one more quick look in the Kyle's direction before I headed inside. Gemma was rushing around the food and drink table when we came in. Luann signaled towards us and Gemma rushed over to meet us. "You are late Elvis, and you too." Gemma pointed her fingernail towards us.

I raised my hands in a mock surrender and Bobby started walking backwards, "Do you know how hard it is to get this into a helmet?"

Gemma kept up with his speed walking and said, "The kids are waiting."

"I know, I know." Bobby said as he pushed through the curtain, "Bless my soul. Oh, look at all god's children. So tell me who wants to look like Elvis?"

The kids all shouted at him saying me and I tried to stifle a laugh but, failed. Gemma whipped around when she heard and walked up to me. "Come on baby, you promised me you would be here and now your late and you have kids songs to sing."

Gemma tried to bring me to my stand but Luann called out to her "Gem? Where is the cupcakes and brownies?"

"Oh shit. I left those in the fridge at the clubhouse." Gemma said stamping her heel into the soft dirt.

"If you want I can run back and get them? I won't be more than twenty minutes?" I offered

Gemma contemplated this and she looked over to the kids around her. "Fine. But, be quick about it, no dilly dallying."

I gave her a smile and passed her my guitar and took off. It was a little bit harder to get to TM than I originally anticipated because of the traffic heading to the school. Once I was out of that though it was easy to get there. I parked quickly in the middle of the lot seeing as no one would be coming to TM now and jogged into the clubhouse. A short man I had never seen before, Kipp, Piney and Clay were all sitting around the one I had yet to meet. They all looked over to me but, once they realized it was me, the tense look on their face calmed down. Clay had a AK in his hands but, that didn't stop me from coming towards him and giving him a quick hug and kiss. "This is a really nice place thank you for having me," The man spoke up once he realized there was no harm coming to him. Kipp placed a beer in front of him, "Thanks."

"That's on the house man." Kipp replied

"Oh that's very nice of you." the man replied

"Want anything Savannah?" Kipp asked me

"No thank you. Who is the new guy?" I asked, leaning on the back of Clay chair

"Chucky. What are you doing here kiddo?" Clay asked

"Gem forgot something in the kitchen, I'll be out of your hair in a minute."

I left them to their business and went into the kitchen. You could still hear their conversation slightly but, I choose to tune it out. The way I saw it was if I was meant to know it then they would have said something to me while I was out there. I opened up the fridge and pulled out both trays, first thing I noticed was that there was obviously a brownie missing. I sighed and shut the fridge, heading back out front. I walked up to Kipp who was now out on the floor grabbing some more dishes off of a table. "Four hundred and sixteen thou." Chucky said

I scrunched my eyebrows and gave Chucky a fleeting look. One that I knew I would regret right away. At first I thought I was seeing things so I turned to look at Kipp who was also staring at Chucky. I knew then that I wasn't hallucinating. I looked back over to Chucky and scrunched up my face in disgust. Chucky had his hand shoved into his pants and was pulling on himself. I swear if I wasn't paying attention to the items in my hands, I would have dropped the plates. "Jesus." Piney said

"Lin was real sloppy with his money. Arrogant, wasteful prick. And there is so much of it to. Counterfeiting, prostitution. So I cooked his books for about a year, skimmed a little hoping he would fire me but, nobody noticed so I kept on skimming." Chucky continued

I looked over to Clay who now stood up from his chair. Me, Piney and Kipp all had looks of disbelief on our faces especially when Clay didn't stop him. "What did you get busted for?" Clay asked instead

"Lin's lawyer finally caught on. I got scared so I blew the whistle."

"So, you're a thief and a rat." Clay pointed out plainly

"I accept that."

He accepts that? Really? "The uh, hand on the dick. What's the deal?" Clay finally asked

Chucky seemed to finally realized what he was doing and apologized, "I'm sorry man," Chucky took his hands from his pockets and I took a step away from him. Piney who was closet raised his hands and looked unsure to be sitting so close to him, "I'm so-sorry, I have this condition. I'm not even aware of it."

"Condition?" Clay asked doubtfully

"CMD." Chucky said back

Clay still looked lost, "Compulsive masturbation disorder." I said for Chucky

Piney looked back at Clay and let out a sigh as I looked down at the stuff in my hand. "I couldn't get the right meds in Stockton. So it's a little out of control right now."

Kipp who was now sitting down, looked stressed and rubbed at his head and face. "You know I use to have that, then I turned thirteen." Piney said with a laugh

Everyone smiled at his joke but, Chucky didn't find it funny since it was at his expense. "Well, it's a lot more common than you think. It stems from childhood drama. I was sexually abused-" Chuck started to explain

Clay didn't look interested and looked as if he was getting more pissed off as the seconds ticked by. When his eyes met mine and he realized that I was still here, he cut him off "Look Chuck. I don't give a shit about your childhood trauma. If I see your hand dance in your pants again, let alone in front of my daughter, I'm going to tie you up and I'm going to throw you in the god damn closet. Are we clear?"

"Accept that." Chucky replied

The shot gun that was in front of Piney was now in his hands and he cocked the gun. Chucky looked scared and I just rolled my eyes. "I have got to get these back to Gemma so I will leave you men...to whatever you're doing."

I gave Kipp a kiss on top of the head and hugged both Piney and Clay before I left for the fundraiser. I was there just shortly under twenty minutes and Gemma found me instantly. Gemma placed her hand on my back and started to push me towards a group of waiting children. Gemma placed a quick kiss on my cheek and turned back to her table. "Hello my darling chiclets. What do we wanna hear first?"

They were just as excited as the group of kids that surrounded Bobby. Shouting random songs out at me, most of which were nursery rhymes. I smiled down at all of them, "Whoa Whoa, we will go through all the songs but, one at a time."

I sat down on the stool that was placed in front of them and balanced my guitar with my leg. I strummed my guitar to make sure I was tuning it right. I was just about to ask what song was first when my eyes connected with Kyle and Jax. Jax had Kyle pinned against the wall and looked completely pissed. Jax looked like he was ready to punch him in the face but when his eyes contacted with Gemma's, he let Kyle go. I was become more curious on why this man was so hated and was kicked out.

~~SOA~~

It was night time now and I was just finishing up the last song for the kids that wanted it. Which was one of my favorites as I was a child. I strummed the cords to the ants go marching and encouraged the little ones to join me in the singing. Basically all of them were. It wasn't until the end though that I noticed that Happy was leaning against the table opposite to me. He had a wide smile on his face and my smile grew as I finished the song. The kids groaned when it finished begging me for one more but, before I could say anything their parents came to collect them. I placed my guitar against the tent and wandered over to Happy. "Hey, darling." he spoke once I was close enough

"Who me? I would think we were strangers after all I haven't seen you in weeks?" I teased

"I have been busy what can I say. But, I'm here now?"

I smiled and leaned in to give him a hug. We still hadn't let anyone know about our secret but, I still could at least hug him. I missed his presence for the last few days. His arms wrapped around my waist and he held me there for a few seconds longer than normal. We reluctantly pulled away and I felt the blush come on to my cheeks as I looked into Happy eyes. I pushed my hands into my back pockets "What are you doing tonight?" he asked me suddenly

"Um, not a whole heck of a lot?"

"Wanna come for a ride after the fire works?"

"Only if you watch them with me." I replied and stepped closer to him

He gave me his deep husky laugh before he nodded his head. I looked towards the stage where people were setting up for the concert that would play during the fireworks. I looked over to Happy once more, "What do you say we find a more reserved area for us to watch those fireworks?" I suggested

He motioned behind me with a sneaky smile on his face. I giggled and turned around to walk to the parking lot. We only made it half way across the field when someone shouted Happy's name. I rolled my eyes and turned around to see Opie running towards us, waving his hand. "Man, did no one tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Hap asked genuinely confused

Opie eyed me warily before he pointed behind him. "Clay called everyone back to TM."

My shoulders slumped when I heard this, obviously that meant our mini date wasn't going to happen. Happy nodded at him and turned around to face me. I was hoping that Opie would leave so that I could at least say goodbye to Hap but, he didn't. Instead Op spoke towards me this time, "Would you mind helping me with the fireworks?"

My eyes darted to Happy who seemed to have gone off in his own world. "Yeah, I don't see why not. I'll see you later Hap, club business and all right?"

"Wait Savannah-" Hap tried grabbing for me

I pulled away and turned around and walked away from him. It wasn't that I was mad at him, he couldn't do anything but, just as he was back all of a sudden he is ripped from me. I have no idea how long I can do this with him if we are always going to be apart like this because we can't be close together in public or in front of the other members. Once me and Opie reached the fireworks he asked with his head down, "Did I interrupt something? You didn't have to come help me..."

I looked up at him shocked before I offered him a warm smile. "No Opie. Hap was just asking where you were so, I was going to help him look for you. Of course I would want to help you, I love fireworks."

Opie seemed to be fine with my answer and I continued on with helping him out. We were just placing the fireworks in the tubes when Donna and the kids came running down the stairs. I watched as Opie embraced his wife and kids. As I stood in on the side watching this, I realized that I wanted Happy. I didn't want to be standing here watching this and I didn't want to watch the fireworks alone. I decided I was going to find Happy even if it meant waiting outside TM for him. I slipped away from the happy family and made my way up the stairs and to the parking lot. I took my keys from my pocket and hoped into my car. As I was pulling away what I didn't see in the darkness of night was Opie running after me, shouting at me.

~~SOA~~

I pulled up to TM and made my way to the doors. I peeked into the room but, saw no one...in fact no lights or anything were on either. I stepped back outside and furrowed my eyebrows. This was where Opie told Happy to go wasn't it? It wasn't long before my question was answered. As I walked towards my car, the door to the office opened followed by Jax and Happy. "What are you doing here?" Jax asked stopping dead in his tracks

Happy tried to step around Jax but, before he could the door to the garage opened. Happy started to yell at whoever was behind the garage doors but, it was too late. I dropped my keys out of surprise and brought my hands up to my face. I watched as Bobby and Tig finished unhooking a man with a horribly burnt back, from chains that had him suspended. Clay swore under his breath and Jax tried to get over to me. Before anyone could reach me, I took off. I had no idea where I was going all I wanted to do was get out of there.


	12. Surprise Visitor

**{Hello everyone. Please continue to review, favorite and follow it all means a lot to me. I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my own character(s) and anything else that you do not recognize.}**

I had no idea how long I had been running out here for but, it had to have been at least an hour. I was now on the highway with no idea where I was actually going. I had past the point of freaking out long ago. It wasn't the fact that they did what they did, I knew things like that happened. What I wasn't prepared for was having to see it. I wasn't mad anymore at Happy for putting the club before me or sad because he wasn't there to watch the fireworks with me. I was upset that he treated me like a child and because of that I ended up seeing things that I will never unsee. The wind started to pick up and blow my hair around. I wrapped my hands around my arms and rubbed them up and down. The tears that had just stopped falling from my eyes were now stinging my face from the cold. As I replayed what happened in my head, I soon realized that I had ended up at the tree that Clay took me to before. The tree that my mother would come to so that she could be alone. I crossed the road and sat with my back against the tree. I pulled my knees up to my chest and placed my head into my chest. I had so many emotions running through me at once, I found myself speaking to my mother for support and comfort "Mom...I need you. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to handle this anymore. How can I look him in the eyes knowing that he will lie and hide these things from me. I feel so helpless, how am I suppose to help and love someone if they won't let me in."

Silence whistled through the wind and I let a few tears fall from my face. I honestly had no idea how long I had actually been outside for before I heard a bike pull up behind me. I still didn't move, instead I strained my ears to hear for any sign of who it could be. A shuffle of their feet walking towards me was all I could hear until they sat beside me. I looked out of the corner of my eyes to see Clay sitting beside me. Of course he would be the one to find me, after all he did show me this place. We sat in silence for a few minutes before he cleared his throat "What you saw there tonight, you do know that you can't tell anyone right?"

I placed my head onto my knees and stared straight ahead at Charming. "I know."

"This is the your life too now and you gotta learn to accept that. You can't run and hide like you did tonight. Especially if you end up with a member like most woman in your position do." He lectured

I felt like in his own way he was trying to be considerate but, at the same time it came across as arrogant and rude. "What if I don't end up with a son?"

"Well that's your choice in the end but, either way you are linked to this family and these are the thing you will have to face from time to time. You knew that when you agreed to come here. You're my daughter you're not stupid."

I didn't say anything back and he continued on after a few minutes, "What were you even doing there? You should have been back at the fireworks with the rest of the old ladies."

"I came looking for something...it wasn't important I should have just stayed away."

"Your right, you should have. You have everyone worried now and out looking for you." He told me

"You know if you just came here to yell at me then you can go away. I'll find my own way home." I shouted letting my anger get the best of me

I stood up and started to storm away from Clay. I didn't get far though before I felt his hand wrap around my arm and I stayed rooted to the spot. "You are too much like your mother when it comes to your anger. I didn't like it in her and I don't like it in you. Stop acting like a spoiled child because you're not. If I don't come back with you, Gemma will have my head. Not to mention everyone will continue to worry about you."

I looked back at him shocked but, I knew the look on his face was telling me better than to back talk him. His fingers that were still locked around my upper arm were starting to hurt me. "I don't want to see you following a son when he leaves for business nor around the lot when it's become dark and no party is going on."

I tried to pull my arm from his and he tightened his grip. I stuck my fingers under his and pulled my arm free and took a few steps back. "Do you understand me Savannah?"

After a slight pause I answered, "Yes sir."

He didn't give me a second look as he turned and walked away to his bike. I wrapped my hand around my sore arm and followed behind him cautiously. Was this man actually going to be that father figure to me or was Jax and Happy right when they warned me about him. I carefully straddled the bike behind him and counted down the seconds until we arrived back at the house.

~~SOA~~

It had been a couple days since the event at TM and I had taken to hiding in my room. Gemma and Jax had come to visit me at some point but, I barely paid them any attention. My mind was focused on Clay and what he'd said to me. The bruise that had encircled my arm and the worry that seemed to be in my heart since that night. I had been avoiding Happy like he was the black plague, I wouldn't answer his calls, I would avoid him at TM and I would pretend to not be home when he would come to see me. I had woken up once more to a text from Happy pleading me to come to TM tonight so that we could talk alone and a missed call from Cherry. I felt bad for missing Cherry's call but as I went to call her back, Gemma's name flashed across the screen. I cleared my tired throat before answering the phone "Hi Gem, what can I do for you?"

"Well first off I need you to get out of that room you have been holed up in and come to the office."

"Why?"

"Because I left some paperwork at the house on my dresser in my room and I need it now. Plus you need to get out and live a little. Something has been bothering you since the fireworks and if you won't talk to me, I can at least get you to come outside."

A smile came across my face as I thought of how much of a mother Gemma came across as. If only she knew what actually happened that night, would she understand or get mad at me like Clay did? I knew in the end Gemma would come over and drag me out of the house in my pajamas if that meant getting me outside. So instead of fighting a already lost battle, I choose the latter. "Okay, give me an hour?"

"Sure baby."

"Bye."

I looked through my closet for a comfortable outfit and after a moment found the perfect one. I slipped on a pair of dark blue shorts that came to my mid thigh and a white and black stripped loose halter top. I also placed on a set of white flats with lace over top of them. I pulled my hair into a side braid and allowed bits of my hair and bangs to hang loose around my face. Once I was satisfied with my look I grabbed my keys and headed out to my mustang. I took the longest way possible to get to TM and when I got there my eyes found the bike I was hoping wasn't going to be there. I pulled in beside Gemma's car, grabbed my purse and Gemma's documents and got out of the car. I looked over to the office and I saw Clay leaning into the doorway. I locked my car and let my eyes scan over the parking lot for any sign of Happy. So, far the only thing I could see was Juice pulling in with a semi. I walked up towards the office and cleared my throat as I got closer to let them know that I was there. Clay looked back at me and gave me a smile, "Hi kiddo, coming to work today huh?"

I was still uncomfortable with Clay after the whole ordeal the night of the fireworks but, I threw on a fake smile and replied "Yeah, Gem called me this morning to bring some paperwork down."

Gemma reached past Clay and grabbed the documents from my hands. Clay gave us a nod of his head before he turned around and started to walk back to the semi. "Thank you baby." Gemma whispered

"Anytime, I wasn't doing anything spectacular anyways."

I looked back to where Clay had disappeared to see Halfsac walking towards us. Halfsac leaned up against the pop machine and asked, "Do you have the number for the septic guy?"

"Piney filled the tanks already?" Gemma said with confusion

"Yeah, and someone's been flushing lace panties." Halfsac said slightly embarrassed

I rose my eyebrows and crossed my arms over my chest. A look of disgust crossed my face and I looked to Gemma who looked just as disturbed and amused as I was. "I don't even know what to say to that." Gemma said back

"I don't even want to know one way or the other." I commented

Halfsac gave me a knowing look and when I smiled at him, he looked down at the ground and blushed. Gemma walked back into the office and came back out with a card. "Here you go." Gemma told him

"Thanks," Halfsac replied and took the card. He looked us both over once more and his blush seemed to deepen, "You guys look real nice today."

I smiled at him and gave him a small wink and Gemma gave him her all knowing smirk. "Thank you Eddie." Gemma told him

I stood with Gemma at the door with my arms crossed, watching Halfsac leave. "You know he is probably the sweetest of them all. I wonder what actually got him to think being a member was the way to go with his life?"

"Oh sweetheart, their all sweet and mushy on the inside. You just got to know how to break through their shells. I thought you would of figured that out by now with killer."

I rolled my eyes but, before I could turn to face her someone else caught my eyes. I watched as the small brunette I knew as Cherry hoped out of the passenger side of the semi. What happened next was even more suspicious. Halfsac stopped dead in his tracks and Clay marched over to Juice, grabbing him by the back of his neck. Judging by the silence from Gemma, she to saw this' to. Clay did not look impressed, in fact he looked furious. Cherry ran over and tried to step in between them, shouting something like it wasn't Juice's fault. What had she done that Clay had reacted that way? Better question yet was what had Clay done with her? Cherry looked over towards Halfsac and stared at him, the moment she did Half sac turned and walked straight into the office. I let him walk past me and I shot Cherry a confused look before I followed him in. Gemma closed the door behind me and Halfsac paced around the office. Gemma walked up to Halfsac "Who's that girl?"

I walked over to the window and peered out it again, it was obvious that Gemma didn't remember Cherry from Tacoma. "Um..I don't really...I don't know." Halfsac stumbled over his words.

"Yeah, I saw your heart skip a beat from here. Who is she?" Gemma told him

I looked away from the window towards Halfsac, his eyes caught mine and I knew then that he loved or had loved Cherry at some point. Now the question was, what did Clay have to do with that. "Just a tribe hang around." Halfsac told her

Gemma nodded her head, she knew now as well as I did the reason why Clay was so upset. "Clay hit that tart didn't he?"

"I don't really know who Clays hitting,...except for you, I'm sure he's hitting you. Cause your his wife and all." Halfsac mumbled

With this new found truth that had smacked her right in the face, Gemma turned away from Halfsac and walked away towards the seats by the window. I stepped out of her way and stood there awkwardly, not really knowing what to do. Cherry was a friend but, she knew the rules of being a sweet butt and so did Gemma, a woman who I had been slowly coming to see as a second mother. Gemma motioned to the door "Get out." she said completely out of breathe.

Halfsac looked torn and I knew the better option right now was to leave. I gently grabbed Halfsac arm and urged him out of the office. As we walked down the lot together, my thoughts were running a million miles an hour. Halfsac grabbed my arm to stop me and he looked like he was ready to have a panic attack. I placed my hand on the side of his face and started to make calming sounds. "Hey, hey don't panic okay? It will all work out in the end I promise. But, you do know what is happening here is wrong? And the repercussions of those actions."

"I do but, what am I suppose to do? I didn't think she would come back for him."

I shook my head at him, "She didn't come back for him, I saw the way she looked at you and only you. She came for you but, if Clay had sex with her...well, the rules are broken. She broke the number one rule, what happens on the road stays on the road. I suggest you fix this darling before it gets ugly and fast."

He nodded his head at me and gave me a hug. I held onto him for a few seconds and as we separated, I saw Tig and Happy having a smoke on the bench. Judging by the look on Happy's face, he wasn't happy himself at the contact I just had with Halfsac. I noticed Happy walking towards me and Halfsac and I started to panic. I wasn't ready to see him either. I gave Halfsac a smile and took off towards my car. I just locked the doors when Happy reached the car, he knocked on the window trying to get my attention. I looked straight ahead and started the car. "I'm sorry." I whispered before I took off.

~~SOA~~

See I have this very weird tendency to bake when I'm nervous or stressed. So, Gemma's kitchen looked like a disaster from hell and that was putting it nicely. I had managed to make cookies, rhubarb crumble, tarts and a cheesecake before I collapsed in the chair. I had flour on my hands, chest and hair and I scanned my mess. I would need to clean this up before Gemma got home. She was having a hard enough day as is, I wouldn't want her to come home to this. My thoughts swarmed with Happy and Gemma for the next half an hour as I cleaned the kitchen. As I thought of Gemma, my thoughts went to the reason why Cherry was here. I was confused that she hadn't told me that she was coming before she got here. That's when I remembered the missed call from Cherry this morning. I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and dialed my voice mail. I waited as the robotic voice on the other end spoke until Cherry's small voice flitted through the phone, "Hey sugar, I need your help with something. I moved down to Nevada after you left and I met a guy from the club. The prospect? Well, I'm coming down for him but, the thing is I shouldn't be there. I'm breaking a big rule and I need you to understand before it gets out of hand...bye."

I pulled the phone away from my ear and cursed out loud. I couldn't believe that I hadn't listened to this before, I could have tried to fix this horrible mess. I felt really guilty as I placed my phone against my chin and leaned against the counter. I was thinking of a way to fix things when my phone rang and I jumped with surprise. I looked down at my phone to see an unknown number in my phone. I looked at my phone in confusion before I answered and held it up to my ear "Hello?"

"Savannah? It's Hale from the police department."

Shock hit me and I immediately, I knew who he was calling me for, "What did she do?"

"She hit a girl in the face with a skateboard. Broke the girls nose."

"Are you serious?"

I knew she was mad at her but, not enough to do that much damage. I felt sorry for Cherry, she was being misunderstood and it wasn't going to be fixed unless she admitted it to Gemma face. "Okay, I'll be right down there."

"Listen unless her bail is posted she won't be released until the morning."

"Have you called Clay?"

"He is here to."

"What? For what?"

"The feds brought him in on something that happened this morning."

"Shit, okay I'm on my way."

"Okay bye."

I hung up and looked down at my phone. No way was this happening right now. I grabbed my keys and headed straight towards the station. I walked in and Hale escorted me towards Gemma. I walked past the room where Clay was being held and he looked pissed. Hale noticed where my attention went and he answered my question for me, "They had a big argument when they brought Gemma in. It was a big uproar over what she did and she let him know that she knew that he had sex with someone else."

I looked over at him wide eyed, it was amusing but shocking at the same time. Hale stuck his key in the gate and unlocked it for me. Gemma looked over to me and glared at Hale "I thought I told you not to call anyone."

"Clay asked us to call her."

A silence fell over us and Hale took that as his cue to leave. Gemma looked straight ahead at the wall and I leaned against the bars. "You got her good I hear?"

Gemma sent a glare my way and I gave her a knowing look. "She deserved it."

"Gem...I'm sorry, I don't think you remember her but I know her."

"What? Why didn't you say something before?"

"Because I had no idea what was happening. All I knew was that Cherry wasn't in Tacoma anymore and Clay...well you know. Are you okay?"

Gemma let out a sigh, "Yeah, I'm just thinking about things."

"Do you want me to talk to the club, post bail for you?"

"That's sweet but, no I think this is where I need to be."

"Are you going to come out when Clay gets out?"

"No, I think I'm going to spend the night here."

I looked at her sympathetically, "I really am sorry Gemma, I wish I would've known before it blindsided you."

"It's not your fault and I think me and that tart are even now."

I looked down at my fingers and Gemma's hand reached out through the bars and grabbed my chin. She forced me to look at her, "Don't look so down, this is not something you could have controlled. This is a risk that you take as an old lady. Take this as a lesson, when rules get broken there are repercussions and sometimes there not good for anyone but rules are there for a reason."

Is this what it meant to be an old lady? Accepting that when there man leaves that he would be sticking it in someone else? That, the sweet butts could always come around? A tear slipped from the corner of my eye as I thought of how it would feel to be in Gemma's shoes but, with Happy. Gemma brushed it away and said "Don't cry. You don't have to be with a son and some of the men aren't like that or there are sub rules to the rules created between two people. Just be firm with what you want and what you expect out of life and you will be fine."

I sniffled and nodded my head. "Thank you Gem."

"No problem. Now go, I don't want you seeing me like this anymore."

I smiled reassuringly at her and took off to my next destination, the flower shop. I knew what I had to do next.

~~SOA~~

I stood in front of the door, nervous holding a bouquet of sunflowers. I gave a hesitant knock on the door and her voice called out to me. I stepped in and had to withhold my gasp as my eyes landed on Cherry. I closed the door behind me and Cherry looked equally shocked to see me. "What are you doing here?" She asked

"What? A friend can't come visit another friend when she pisses of the queen of the bikers and gets a skateboard to the face." I stated matter of factly

I walked forward and passed her the flowers. She let out a sigh and looked down at the flowers, "So you heard?"

"Well, it's kind of hard not to be kept in the loop when Clay is my father and Gemma might as well be my mother."

"I didn't mean for it to happen like this honest. I was only here-"

"For Kipp I know," I cut her off and stared at her kindly, "Have you talked to him yet?"

An instant blush fell over her cheeks, "Yeah I did. I think I got it all sorted out with him."

I sat on the bed beside her and placed my hands in my lap, "That's good but, you do know what you need to do now right?"

Cherry looked even more depressed than before. "I thought we were even now you know."

"In the sense that you came here fully knowing you were breaking the rule. You gotta see it from her view Cherry, this was an uncalled for slap in her face. Plus if you came here for Kipp, to make a life with him...well you need to make things right with Gem or you know you can't stay."

After a moment's hesitation, she looked up into my eyes "Will you come with me?"

A reassuring smile spread across my face and I replied, "Of course I will."

A sneaky smile crossed her face "So onto a better subject. What's going on between you and Killer?"

It was my turn to look down now and I started to play with my fingers. "I don't know right now."

A look of concern crossed her face and she placed the flowers down beside her. She grabbed my hand and held it tight in her own. "What's going on? What happened?"

I was silent as I tried to think over my words carefully. I couldn't exactly tell her what I saw "I saw a side of him I never thought I would. It didn't scare me but, it made me worry. He is also keeping things from me and it hurts me to know that he is okay with that. That he thinks that is okay. So I have been avoiding him."

"Well, how do you think he feels now? With you hiding from him and not giving him a reason?"

I never thought of it that way but, did Happy truly feel like that towards me? We haven't even establish a relationship or whatever it's called that we have. Her next words shocked me back into reality, "You know what you have to do right?"

"You're playing my words against me." I accused her.

She made a mock hurt look and gave my hand a squeeze. "I can see how hurt you are but, I'll make you a deal. You go and see him, make him listen and understand you and I will do the same thing with Gemma."

She knew that either way if she truly loved Kipp and wanted to stay, she would have to confront Gemma. But, she was right I couldn't keep running from him forever. He would find me one way or another, he always does. I nodded my head and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I turned to face her better and smile lit up across my face. "Okay missy, spill. What happened when Kipp came by."

Another blush spread across her face and I knew it was more than just a talk they had.

~~SOA~~

I was finally driving home after about three hours of visiting with Cherry. My mind was now more at ease since I talked to her and Gemma but, something still wasn't right. I found myself driving by TM and I knew that most of the boys were out, including Clay. I saw Happy's bike sitting in the line up with a couple others and pulled into the parking lot. I couldn't wait for him to come to me and if I didn't do this now I would lose my nerve. I walked slowly across the parking lot, playing over what I wanted to talk to him about in my head. It was becoming chilly out and I rubbed my arms as I opened up the door to the bar. Kipp was behind the counter with a couple of the sweet butts walking around. "Hey Savannah. What can I help you with?"

"Is Happy here?"

"Yeah, in his dorm."

I nodded my head at him and walked down the hallways as if I was a woman on a mission. I needed to get this off my chest and if he wasn't okay with it well then I guess there never would be an us. I gave a knock on the door and in a few seconds Happy opened it. He looked genuinely surprised to see me there and I was about to surprise him once more. I stepped forward and stood on my tip toes and pressed my lips against his. He stumbled back from shock but, it only took him a moment to catch up to me. I pressed him backwards and kicked the door shut behind me. He placed his hands on my hips as I kept pushing him backwards to the bed. I missed kissing him and it was obvious that he did to. Our kiss was filled with urgency and passion and I didn't want it to stop. But, this wasn't why I was here and I had to put an end to it. I placed my hand on Happy's chest and pushed him down onto the bed. I withdrew from him and took a step back from him. He looked even more confused than the start. "I want you to listen to me Happy. Don't interrupt and I want you to think about what I say," When he didn't interrupt, I continued, "The night of the fireworks...what you all did, I understand that is the way it works for you. Whatever your reason was for doing it, there would have been nothing I or anyone else could have done. I understand that but, what I don't understand is the fact that you hid it from me. Just like everything else you have done since I have known you. You hide it all from me, I'm not a child and I can handle it? How do you expect me to be your old lady if you can't even confide in me even just a little. And another thing, this rule that has everyone in a tissy today, is something I won't accept. You belong to me and only me. I don't share and I don't play nice either. The only thing I would even consider is a blow job and that's only if you are away from me for a long period of time. Do you understand me? Because if you don't let me know now so I-"

I was cut off by Happy masculine arms wrapping around me and drawing me into him. "Do you realize what you just called yourself?" he whispered in my ear

I blinked in surprise but, shook my head. "You just called yourself my old lady. That makes you mine and only mine. Just like I am yours and only yours."

I pulled away enough to look at him in the face and I could see the lack of sleep he had gotten and the stress that lined his face. "If I tell you everything Savannah, have no secrets from you...are you prepared for that? Not everything I do is going to be sunshine and rainbows? A lot of it is ugly, remember I walk down a dark path."

I placed my hand over his cheek and placed my forehead against his, "But, you don't have to walk that path alone. I'm not saying I want to know every gruesome detail but, I do want to know what you're doing. I understand the club comes first to you but, what about me? Where does that place me?"

He took my hand from his face and placed it over his heart, "It places you here. In my heart, my life and my reason to live. You bring light to the darkness and I have realized over the last few days. When you refused to talk to me, avoided me like I was the plague and even today when I tried to talk to you at the car. I know I'm no good at this relationship thing. It's never been my thing and you know that."

I placed my lips against his to shut him up. That was all I needed to hear from him. He was right it would be a tough road to walk down with him but, I was ready and willing to meet those challenges. He was going to be my man and I would be his old lady.


	13. A Piece of Her Past Revealed

**{Hello everyone. Please continue to review, favorite and follow it all means a lot to me. I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my own character(s) and anything else that you do not recognize.}**

It had been a few days since I had seen Happy. After someone tried to shoot Clay, Happy went to do his job. I knew what that meant but, kept my lips shut when he told me goodbye. Clay and Gemma had stayed at the club late and I decided I would go home. The party was no fun without Happy. Even with Tig's effort, I only enjoyed it for a little while. So after a quick visit to see Abel, I drove home. I pulled off my heels from my sore feet in the car and started to walk towards the front door. I stood in front of the door fiddling with my keys looking for the house key when a sound in the bushes alerted me to something's presence. I stared over there curiously before I slowly descended the stairs towards the bushes. Once I got closer the bushes rattled again and my steps faltered slightly, "H-hello?" I stuttered out

When no other sound came from the bush I gathered my courage and leaned into the bush. The bush rattled again and a cat came barreling out of the bushes crying out. I jumped back in surprise and clutched a hand to my chest. "Jesus Christ!"

After a few deep breathes I turned away to go back into the house but I ran face first into a hard chest. I screamed but, a set of arms wrapped themselves around my shoulders drawing me into them. "Calm down Savannah, it's just me." Happy's voice drifted around me

I pulled back enough to look at him and I slapped him on the chest. "Don't scare me like that."

He gave a hearty laugh, kissed me on the forehead and grabbed my hand. "Come on, let's get inside you're getting cold."

I gripped his hand tight as I unlocked the door and stepped through with him. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek as he walked by me towards the table. I closed the door and watched him set a bag on the table top. I turned my head and tried to peak into it, he didn't stop me as I got closer and opened the bag. I was confused when I saw what was in there, it looked like a set up for a tattoo. I pulled back and looked at him confused. He gave me an unsure look, like he wasn't sure whether to ask me something or not. He placed his hand into mine and stared at me for a moment "I need to tell you something about me. My job with the M.C...I kill people, I hunt them. This is my job because I'm good at it. But, that's not what I need to ask you. After every job is done," Happy started to explain to me as he pulled up his shirt and pointed at the happy faces on his side, "I place one more face on my skin. To remind me every day that this is what I do, that this is who I am. I'm proud to be a part of the M.C. And I'm proud to be with you. I'm new to this and I'm not sure what do to but, if you are going to be my old lady you need to know this to."

My heart was racing as he spoke. I had a hunch on what he did for the club but to come right out and tell me was something I was not prepared for tonight. But, he was right. We had yet to talk about the confession we had in his dorm room. There was a lot that came with being an old lady and being able to accept what he does is one of them. I was the one that told him that I wanted to know everything. My hands reached out for the bag and I removed each item carefully. It had felt like a long time since I had touched a tattoo gun let alone tattoo someone. "I thought you said my work was childish." I mumbled

He cupped my chin with his hand and pulled my face to his. "I only said that because I didn't want to admit for someone with little experience that it was pretty good. Obviously there is little things you could do to fix everything up but, no your work is not childish it is better than an amateur apprentice. I trust you, I wouldn't give this to you unless I felt you would do a good job."

I squinted my eyes at him in a playful doubt but snapped the gloves on my hand. I placed my hands under his shirt and gently pulled it over his head. I continued to hook everything up in silence and Happy leaned against the table and watched me intensely. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous but, I knew being nervous was the first mistake a newbie could make. I pulled the trigger to make sure it was working before I knelt down in front of him. I came face to face with the faces on his side. There was quite a few of them to say the least. I pulled his skin and started the tattoo. My concentration completely on his tattoo. I didn't want to screw this up. I almost felt like he was testing me and I didn't know why. It didn't take long to complete the tattoo and after I was done I stood up to face him. "Well I do believe I am finished here Mr. Lowman. I don't suppose I should give you the aftercare talk?" I asked teasingly

His chuckle vibrated from him and I laughed along with him. The tense air around us was becoming less and less as the minutes went by. As I dissembled everything he came up behind me and placed his arms around my waist, pulling me into him. I smiled and embraced the feeling of security I felt with him. "Let's go to bed." Happy mumbled into my neck, placing a few kisses here and there

I tied the bag closed and wrapped my fingers around his and walked to the bedroom. This was the first time since the night in his dorm room that I had slept with him. I disappeared into the bathroom to remove my clothing and placed on a silk black chemise that hung loose around my body. When I came back into the room Happy was already under my sheets with my sheets clinging to his waist. I flipped the light off and spoke up, "I could get use to this." I teased

As I walked towards the bed Happy pulled me down by my waist and into his arms. "I could to."

I placed my head on his chest and listen to his heart beat. The best thing about it was that it matched my racing heart.

~~SOA~~

A knock sounded through my room, followed shortly by Gemma's voice. "Hey baby get up, I need you to come to the store with me?"

I let out a groan and rolled over in my bed, reaching my arm out to an empty space. My eyes blinked open slowly and I looked at where Happy was last night. We hadn't told anyone yet about our relationship. Not that we didn't want to but the time never seemed right. I had a feeling that Gemma knew but, she hadn't said anything yet. "You got twenty minutes." Gemma yelled through the door again

I slowly dragged my body out of bed knowing full well that Gemma would come in here and drag me outside in my chemise and not care. I slipped on a white dress with a belt on my waist and a set of black low inch heel with a belted strap. I quickly pulled my hair into a loose ponytail with hair falling around my face before I left my room. I grabbed an apple from the bowl on the table and my bag from the chair where Clay was sitting with his coffee. "Morning, where is Gem?" I asked taking a bite from my apple

Clay didn't have a chance to reply before the horn echoed from outside. "I would hurry kiddo before she comes in here for you." Clay told me

I nodded my head and walked out of the dining room. Just as I was leaving though Clay's voice called out to me, "Would you happen to know where Happy is? I tried getting a hold of him last night and got no answer. That's odd for him."

I hesitated for a second before I shook my head not daring to look back at him. "No, I haven't heard from him in a while. I thought he was done being my baby sitter?"

"Mmm." Clay replied

Gemma honked her horn twice more and I ran out of the house before Clay had the chance to barrage me with more questions.

~~SOA~~

"So, while I was driving home last night do you want to know what I saw?" Gemma asked me while we walked down the aisles

"I'm not sure. Is it going to get me in trouble?" I asked jokingly

"I don't know, you tell me. What was Happy's bike doing being parked a couple blocks from the house."

Gemma knew the answer before I gave it to her. She just wanted it to be said out loud. "We didn't do anything if that's what you're asking."

"Do you know what you're getting yourself into?"

"I wonder sometimes myself. But, Gem I want to be with him and I'm sure it will take some getting used to but I want to be in it for the long haul."

"You do know that means telling Jax and Clay right?"

I looked down at some bags of chips to avoid her eye contact as we rounded the corner of the aisle. Before I had a chance to reply to her, Cherry came out from behind me in a complete panic. "Gemma, hey Gemma. I got to talk to you." Cherry said in a rush grabbing Gemma arm

"Cherry? What's wrong?" I asked getting in between them so that I could be involved

Cherry looked to me then back to Gemma, "I didn't want to go by your place because I'm afraid the feds might be watching."

Gemma instantly stopped looking at the salsa and instead looked at Cherry curiously. "How do you know about that?" Gemma asked

"Wait, what's going on Gem? There are feds here?"

Gemma nodded her head but waited for Cherry to continue as we continued on down the aisle. "They just came to the nail salon looking for me. I called Halfsac and feds are going after all the women."

Gemma looked back at me thoughtfully before she continued on, "It's just a scare tactic, tell them you open beers and suck dick that's it. They got nothing."

Did Gemma think that they would go after me? Even if they couldn't make the connection between me and Happy yet, they could still make the connection with Clay and her. "I haven't been completely honest with Halfsac."

"I don't like where this is going." Gemma sighed

"Yeah I'm sorta married."

"What? How could you not tell him that?" I asked looking at Cherry shocked

"Sorta?" Gemma piped in equally confused

"Well he was a sadistic asshole. He wouldn't divorce me so I left. Took everything, took the car, took the money, took the dog." Cherry explained to us

I nodded my head when I realized why she was in such a panic to avoid the feds. If they got a hold of her she would be doing hard time. "You're wanted for grand theft." Gemma finished for Cherry

"And arson. I burned down our condo." Cherry topped off

"Nice touch."

I laughed and remarked, "Well that's one way to break up with someone."

Gemma gave me a warning glare but Cherry drew our attention back to her, "He was such a dick Gemma."

Cherry stopped to look back at the front doors and Gemma swore under her breath, "Jesus Christ Cherry."

"It's actually Rita. Cherry was our dogs name and she died, and I always liked it better than mine."

"Is there anything else that we should know?" I asked not meaning to sound cruel

"No."

"Well that sweet." Gemma smiled before she continued on walking

"What am I going to do, I love Halfsac it's going so good Gemma. What the hell am I going to do?"

"Well I would started off by not lying to him. If Kipp loves you as much as he says he does then he will love you either way." I piped in with my opinion

"You got to get out of here Rita." Gemma gave her opinion, drawing out her name

"But, I don't want leave him."

"They're going to threaten you with jail time."

"She has a point. Unless you're willing to put in the time so you can still be with him your only option is to run." I told Cherry

"Yeah but, I'm not a rat." Cherry tried to stick up for herself

Gemma stopped and looked between me and her before stepping closer to Cherry. "You ever been inside?"

Before she had the chance to say anything else the chime echoed in the store to tell everyone that someone else came in. Cherry looked behind me and ducked down swearing under her breath. Both me and Gemma looked to the front to see two feds coming in. I looked back to where Cherry was worried and watched the scene unfold around me. The one fed that was wearing a grey suit was walking down the far aisle when Cherry came out and smashed her across the face with a wine bottle. I placed a hand to my mouth in an effort to stop the laughter that threatened to bubble out. At least the girl had spunk. Gemma pinched me in the side and gave me another warning look. When I looked back to the front Cherry was in an agent's arms and a new agent walked into the building. She was dressed in a black suit with a blue shirt underneath and had medium length blonde hair. She just spelled queen bitch and as I watched her walk over to us, I couldn't help but glare at her. "Very impressive Vicky, hard to find good help these days." the lady criticized as she walked up to us.

She stood beside me and I looked between the two women beside me. Neither seemed to like each other and judging by the air around the women I decided that staying quiet would be my best option. "Know what you mean. That little tart doesn't know anything." Gemma replied pointing out the door

I followed her finger to find Cherry being pulled away by the agent that caught her. But, that wasn't what surprised me. No instead I found Happy sitting out front across the street watching the scene unfold around him. Gemma started to walk away so I continued to follow her. The agent placed her hands behind her back and followed us, "What about the porn star? We got her in custody to."

"She can probably teach you how to give a great hummer but, I'm guessing you got that covered."

"Mmm, I get by."

"Picking off the ones that have the most to lose. Smart that's how I would do it."

"Yeah I've seen you in action. You almost killed that one with a skateboard didn't you?"

"We've mended fences."

"I guess so, what was she doing asking for the queen's advice? What lies to tell?" the woman taunted

Both of them continued to get closer to each other and I stood on the side watching them closely. I felt something tug on my bag but, when I looked behind me all I saw was a mother and child walking behind me. Chalking it up to the child I turned around to face the conversation again. The lady reached forward and tucked some of Gemma's hair behind her ear, "I bet there's enough secrets in that pretty little head of yours to bury an empire."

Gemma smirked at the ladies attempt to persuade her and stepped forward to match her. "I'm just a wife and mother darling. You know you might want to unscrew that penis sometimes. It's fun being a girl, if you want me, you know where I live."

When she had nothing left to say back to Gemma, Gemma stepped back and walked away from her. I tried to follow her but the ladies hand gripped my arm stopped me in my tracks, "Let go of me now!" I warned as I tried to pry my arm from her fingers.

Gemma stopped and turned around again, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Well, mama bear. We will be taking her into custody as well."

"What? On what charges? I've done nothing wrong?" I denied

Another man came up behind me, taking me from her and starting to handcuff me. My purse was removed from my shoulder and the lady stuck her hand into my bag and pulled out a small baggie of crank. My eyes widened and I started to shout while the man pulled me out of the store. "That's not mine! Gemma please believe me that's not mine! I swear!"

Gemma didn't look like she believed what she was seeing unfold in front of her. But, her glare was not pointed at me instead it was pointed at the agent who held the baggie between her fingers. As I was dragged to the cop car, I looked over to Happy. He started to get off his bike and I shook my head to tell him to stay where he was.

~~SOA~~

I had been placed in an interrogation room for what seemed like forever before the same agent from before walked in. She came in with a folder that I supposed held my past that she was going to try and use against me. I had been preparing myself for this since I had been placed in here. I had dealt with my past already there was nothing I knew of that this chick could use against me. "I never got the chance to introduce myself, seeing as you arrived a little late in the game. I'm agent Stahl."

"I would care why?" I sassed

She smirked at me, "Well you definitely are catching onto Gemma sass."

"Why am I here? I know you framed me for that crank. I've been clean since I came here."

"I know but, I'm not here to talk about your junkie past. Instead I want to talk about what that record is going to impact for you. Sure you might get charged and go to jail for a few months but, who is this going to impact more. You or her?" She asked me while she took a photo from her folder and slid it towards me

I looked down at the photo to see me pushing a little girl on a swing. A little girl with bright blonde hair and bright blue eyes. I gently picked up the photo looking fondly down at the photo, "Where did you get this?"

"You're aunt gave it to us. You would be amazed at what people will do when you ask nicely."

I rolled my eyes and flipped the picture over. "Your last court date stated that as long as you stayed clean, out of trouble and got yourself together financially and emotionally, that within the next three years your plea for her would be re-evaluated. But, with what just happened I don't think that's going to happen. What will happen if you fail this time hmm?"

I bite my lip and glared down at the table. "If I have read here correctly you will be denied ever having the chance to know your daughter again?"

"What do you want?" I asked in a snide voice

"I know that you're connected to the club. That you're Clay Morrow's daughter, Jax's sister and from what I hear you know Happy Lowman pretty personally?"

I glared at her again and replied, "You're right I'm a part of the family. But, they are all motorcycle enthusiast that get together to fix and talk bikes."

"What about Happy?"

"What about him? He is a member, he has a bike and I know him so what?"

"Oh I think you know more about him than you're letting on?" Stahl smirked and slide two other pictures across the table

I looked down at it and I saw one of me and Happy holding hands out front of the house and another one of me tattooing his side. "You were watching me last night? Isn't that against the law or something?"

"Not, if someone anonymously sent it in to us."

"So what I gave him a tattoo, I'm sure somewhere in that know it all head you figured that out to."

"See I got curious and looked into Happy's criminal record. It seems every time he has gone back to jail he has more of these tattoos right here. "She tapped on Happy's side

"So, he likes those tattoos it's not a crime." I shook my head and slide the pictures towards her

She gave a snide look and put everything back into the folder. "Well, it seems that you don't want to play nice right now. I will go and enter this report and before I send this off and seal your fate with your child, I will be back to talk again. Think over what I just told you maybe you will remember something."

I watched her leave and I could feel the tears start to come to my eyes.

~~SOA~~

"Savannah?" a voice called out to me

I opened my eyes to the harsh light of the jail cell blinding me. My back ached from lying on the rock hard bed. I pushed myself onto my elbows and stared out to the same ugly wall that surrounded me. "Savannah are you there?"

"Cherry?" I called out and walked to the bars

"Yeah, what they get you for?"

"Crank. That bitch set me up."

"She set us all up hun." another voice called out to me

That's right Luann was taken in to. "What are they threatening you with?" Cherry asked

"Bringing back my past to bite me in the ass you?"

"I'm going to jail for life for arson and theft. Luann is going for seven years for intent to distribute and drug charges." Cherry answered

"That bitch is fucking with the wrong people. She can't get away with this." I swore

Both the girls hummed in agreement and the cells remained quiet. That was until the click of the key being used to open the door echoed against the walls. I thought it was just another guard and walked back to my bed but, then I heard Cherry's voice swear. I walked back to the bars to see Jax walking to Luann's cell after giving us a smile. "What are you doing here?" Luann asked

"We think the feds are pressing Otto." Jax replied

"Something's going on, they're letting me see him tomorrow."

"You got to get a message to him Luann, they're trying to use Rico act against the club. You got to tell Otto that he can't give them any info alright? Nothing no matter how small or old."

"Shit okay?"

"Alright?"

"I'll tell him."

Jax's rings clanged against the bars as he moved to my cell. He leaned in and his hands grasped mine. "What are they asking you?"

"About anything I've seen since I came here. Their using my position in the family to sway me into giving something away. I didn't rat Jax I swear."

Jax gave me a hard look and asked the one question I was waiting for, "Are you back on that shit?"

"No Jax I swear, that bitch planted it in my purse when I wasn't looking. Please Jax you need to tell Gemma and Clay the truth. Jax this bust can bury me, I can't have this on my record."

I looked into his sympathetic eyes and almost felt like bawling right there. "Okay, I'll tell them. Don't worry I'll contact our lawyer, don't say a thing."

I nodded my head and Jax kissed my forehead through the bars. Next was Cherry's, "What are they asking you?"

"Jax you got to, you got to take me with you man please." Cherry begged

"I can't?" Jax whispered

"That bitch wants to send me back to Nevada. I'm going to do hard time, like a hundred goddamn years. I can't do that. Your mom's right I'll rat if I stay in here. I'll rat! Come on! Please, please take me with you." Cherry shouted

"All right, shut up." Jax barked

Jax unlocked the cell and let Cherry out, taking her straight for the door. "Jax!" I called out

He turned and looked at me, "Tell Happy to."

He looked at me unsure of why I was asking him that but, looked to Luann and left. Luann swore under her breath and we both walked away to our beds. Just as I was falling asleep Luann asked, "What is she threatening you with?"

I paused not sure if I should actually tell her. But, if Stahl knew, it was only time before SAMCRO did to. "I have a kid."

Luann didn't reply right away either, "Boy or girl?"

"Girl...she has bright blue eyes and blonde hair that would shine in the sun. Her name is Stella and she is turning four in a month."

"Does anybody else know?"

"No, I had her taken from me shortly after I gave birth. I am able to go to trial in the next six months to appeal to have her back but, the condition was no drugs in my system or drug related charges. I blew it today. Stahl has me right where she wants me."

"Are you going to rat?"

"No. I know what happens to the people who do. But, doing that means I give up my daughter. I will never be allowed to see her again."

The tears that I was desperately trying to hold back started to bubble over. A chocked gasp escaped my lips and I pulled my knees into my chest. Flashes of memories of the times I had seen my daughter flashed across my mind. The last time I saw her started to break my heart and the thought of never seeing her again was making it worse.

 _(Luann p.o.v)_

 _I was escorted out of my cell in the early morning. As I was being pulled out, I looked behind me to Savannah's cell. She was curled up in a ball, her face hidden under her arm. My heart broke for the girl in the cell, she was only in the family for a short period of time but I couldn't imagine having a child being threatened against me. It became obvious to me that this was a burden she had been holding onto for a long time. She honestly loved her child, her tears and sobs were enough evidence of that. I was placed in a van and quickly escorted to the prison and just as quickly I was brought to my husband. The moment I entered the room and was left alone I went straight into his arms. Our lips instantly finding each others. There was no way I was going to miss even a second of this time with him. I held his face in my hands and started to kiss my way across his cheek and to his ear. "Jax said ATF is using rico against the club, are the feds pressing you to turn because of me?"_

 _"No, no, no baby. I took care of it, I got you clear." Otto told me while he pulled away from me to look at my face._

 _Realization dawned on me and I started to panic, "Jesus Otto, did you rat?" I bent forward to his ear again and whispered, "If Clay see's I got out, he'll know that you made some kind of deal and you know what they will do to you."_

 _Again Otto pulled away from me brushing some of my hair back behind my ear. "Don't worry baby, don't worry. I'll get a message to the MC. Okay?"_

 _I had no idea what he had planned but, I knew by the look on his face that we would both be safe. "I'm more worried about you, you got to be smart Luann. They'll do whatever they can to hurt us." Otto soothed me_

 _As he spoke the images of Savannah came to my mind and I leaned closer to him again, "Otto there is girl that they are trying to use to. Clay has a daughter but, she has a daughter of her own. One that she is trying desperately to hold onto. Is there any way we could help her? We weren't able to have our own I couldn't imagine having my child just to have her taken from me like that and then dangled in front of me like a carnival prize."_

 _Otto contemplated this but nodded his head. "I will see what I can do."_

 _I smiled and gave him another kiss on the lips and wrapped myself in his arms. The tears started to flow over my cheeks and I could feel my body shake. I will never hold my husband again like this. The ten minutes that we had used seemed like only seconds. I knew that if I stayed any longer, it would be just that hard to leave him. I gave him one more fleeting kiss before I pulled away and stood up._

 _(End of Luann p.o.v)_

I had no idea how long I had been asleep for. My eyes were puffy and sealed shut from all the crying I had done the night before. A tap on my cell bars let me know that someone was there. I rolled onto my back to see a guard unlocking my door and Gemma standing there. I stood up confused "You are being released. The charges have been dropped." the guard told me

I didn't say a word as I was given my property and escorted out of the building with Gemma. But, the moment I got outside I spun around on Gemma, "What's going on?"

Gemma gave me a warning look, "Hurry, we need to get to the cabin. A member in Stockton made a phony deal with the ATF to get you and Luann out of there."

"But, that means he rated?" I asked

"Not exactly, he did quite a number on her from what I understand. She can't go back on yours and Luann's release because the paperwork already went through. But, our member will serve longer now for what he did for the club." Gemma explained

I stopped and looked at Gemma, "You do believe me when I say that I had nothing to do with that crank right?"

Gemma stopped and looked back at me. She smiled and walked up to me, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me into her. "Of course baby, I didn't believe for one second that you did. And just for the record neither did anyone else, including Happy."

She gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and pushed me towards her car. I honestly had no idea where we were going but, Gemma seemed to be in such a rush I didn't want to question her. "Oh, this came in the mail from your aunt. She said you had left it at the house."

After I had strapped myself in, I had reached for the box. I took out my house key and slit open the box and pulled out my mother's pendant that she always wore. It was a long silver gold chain with a small silver dragon shape surrounding a navy blue crystal. I placed the box on the floor at my feet and held the chain in my hand.

~~SOA~~

We had been at the cabin for almost an hour and I was watching as the Irish man was being checked on by Tara. From what I understood was that Cherry and Halfsac had been hiding up here since Jax bailed her out and the Irish man had been up here longer than that hiding from the feds. Now Happy was on his way to bring them both across the border and away from Charming or anyone that could arrest them. I could hear a vehicle pulling up to the cabin and I looked outside to see a cargo truck outside along with Jax on his bike. Happy hoped down from the truck and I looked back at Gemma, "Their here."

"Okay I'll go get the kids." Gemma told us before leaving down the hall

I opened up the door for Happy and Jax. Happy didn't come in right away, he gave me a wave and started to open the truck. Tara had finished checking the Irish man's wounds so while she went and talked to Jax, I helped him stand up. "Irishman good to go?" Gemma voice called out rather loudly through the room

When I looked over I saw Tara and Jax standing pretty close together. The look on Gemma's face said that she wasn't happy about this. Gemma surprised everyone in the room when she grabbed Tara's face and kissed her on the cheek. I only paid attention to this for a moment because Happy walked in. "Ready for the road trip kids?" Happy asked

Everyone started to get up and leave and I tried to make it to Happy but, Cherry grabbed my hand. I looked back to Happy to see him already leaving and I bite down on my lip. I looked back to Cherry and gave her a hug followed by Gemma giving her a hug as well. "No more burning down shit." Gemma warned

"Right." Cherry smiled

"You have my number Cherry, don't be afraid to give me a call every once in a while. Be safe out there, anything you need you let me know." I told her

"Actually there is one thing?" Cherry whispered looking out the door in front of her

"What is it?" I asked when Cherry didn't continue

"Look after him will ya?"

I laughed a little and nodded my head giving her a hug again. Halfsac came in to grab Cherry again and I let her walk by me. I was happy that they found some form of happiness and I followed them to the door. I watched as Happy helped the Irishman into the truck before he walked back. I needed to talk to him before he left so I quickly stepped down the steps following him around to the other side of the truck. "Hap!" I called out to him

He looked back at me hesitantly but, stopped walking. I finished the distance between us and looked down to my fingers. "How long are you going to be this time?" I asked

"No more than a few days but, I'm thinking going Nomad. Go take care of my ma."

I looked up at him shocked but, this seemed to pain him as well. "Your moms out in Bakersfield?"

"Yeah," Happy said while he stuffed his hands into his pockets, "I got to go Savannah. I'll talk to you about this when I get back."

"Are you going to leave me?" I asked in a trembled voice

Happy's jaw clenched shut "We will talk when I get back."

"Hap...do you believe that I had anything to do with my charge?"

He took a step towards me and gave me a light kiss on the lips. "Of course I don't but, I don't want that to happen again. You have to be more careful around people like that."

Someone in the truck honked the horn and Happy looked at me intensely before he walked away. I found my hand drifting to the necklace around my neck. "Happy!" I shouted once again

I ran up to him pulling the chain from around my neck. "Please take this with you. I know it seems silly but, it was my mothers. It will put me at ease to know that she will be watching over you?"

Happy reached out and pulled it from my fingers. "Thank you Savannah."

Happy leaned over and kissed my cheek one more time before he disappeared into the truck. I watched from the sidelines as everyone pulled away. I didn't just feel like I lost a friend, the worry crept up my spine that I would lose Happy to.


	14. Stella

**{Hello everyone. Please continue to review, favorite and follow it all means a lot to me. I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my own character(s) and anything else that you do not recognize.}**

It had been about a week since Happy took Cameron and Cherry to Ireland. The thing was that he never came home to me. His mother's condition had become worse so, instead I had come home to find a bouquet of tiger lily's sitting on the desk in my bedroom. The thought that he hadn't at least forgotten me had eased my pain about his disappearance but, at the same time a little bubble of anger settled in the pit of my stomach. I had finished in the office for the day and was heading over to the bar so that I could tell both Gemma and Clay that I was going home. The heels on my boots clicked across the pavement and the door squeaked as I pulled it open. A burst of laughter filled the room at something that Tig had said and I could just imagine what it was about. Clay walked out of the church and told everyone about what Otto had done for both me and Luann and how bad Stahl's face was after. "Oh I love that man!" Tig laughed after the news had been revealed

"Trying to prove to the club he wasn't gonna give anything up. We're clear of the ATF ladies and germs!" Clay exclaimed

Cheers erupted through the room and Gemma got up from the table to talk to Clay. Before she reached him though she placed a hand on my shoulder, "You done for the day?" She asked me

"Yeah I just thought I would let you know. I sent Lowell home for the day and locked up."

"Okay, before you go home can you go get Jax please, he is in his dorm."

I nodded my head and walked past her to the hall. I gave a light knock on Jax's door, "Jax? It's Savannah. Gemma wants you to come out and see her."

I could hear some paper being ruffled about before the door opened to a smiling Jax. He stepped out into the hall "Thanks. You headed home?" He asked me as he locked his door behind him.

"For now yeah."

"Is something the matter lately?" He asked as we walked down the hall.

Besides the anxious feeling about my daughter and Happy was what I wanted to say to him. "Just been a busy wee-" I started to explain but a loud sound erupted from the entrance cutting me off

I turned and looked down the hall with Jax and I could see people running around. Not being able to tell exactly what was going on, both me and Jax walked to the end of the hall. Someone grabbed my shoulder roughly and I felt a loud pop in my shoulder as I was slammed to the floor. I grunted in pain and Jax called out for me reaching out to grab me but, someone else grabbed him slamming him into the wall. It wasn't long until they had all of us pinned to the ground. Stahl came in with a smug look on her face. "Robert Munson you're under arrest for the murder of Brennan Hefner." A cop spoke loudly above the noise in the room

I looked over to see Bobby being cuffed, "Who?" He asked confused

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law." The cop started to read off Bobby's right

"I'll call Rosen Bobby, you just sit tight." Clay called out to him

Stahl kicked Clay for talking and Gemma spoke out furiously, "Hey Bitch!"

Gemma spat at her and Stahl kicked her in the stomach as well. Gemma fell back to the ground in pain, "Gemma! Leave her alone you stupid bitch!" I cursed at her

Stahl stalked towards me and glared down at me. "Do you want to share in the family love to sweetheart?"

When I didn't immediately reply she leaned closer to me and whispered just loud enough for me to hear, "Didn't think so. I will be seeing you later."

Stahl looked around smugly and after Bobby had been taken out she called out to everyone else in the room to let us go. Jax helped me up and I gripped my shoulder in pain, "You all right?" Jax asked

I rotated my arm and felt a sharp pain, "Yeah I just think I pulled a muscle."

I squeezed Jax's arm in reassurance. "I want everyone in church now!" Clay growled

I went into the kitchen to place a pack of ice on my shoulder. I leaned against the counter and let my head fall backwards. What did she mean that she would see me later? Would I need to keep my guard up now. It seemed like my life was just getting more complicated by the second. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone dialing a number I had come to memorize. It rang three times before the machine picked up and his gruff voice filled my ears. "I'm away, leave a message."

Short and sweet and to the point, it was just like him. I waited for the beep before I lost the nerve and hung up. We hadn't talked at all since that day and though I have called him a few times, he has never picked up. I looked down at the screen of my phone and the number that was still on it. "Is your shoulder okay?" Clay's voice echoed through the room

Had I really been in here that long that the men had already gotten out of church? "Yeah, just some minor pain. It will go away. Is there anything I can do?" I replied

"No, you best just go home for now."

I nodded my head and walked back to the fridge to replace the ice. I gave Clay a side hug as I walked past him. I was just putting my keys into the door when Gemma called out to me from the office, "Hey baby can you run back into the bar and grab me the bill paperwork for Jax's house. It should be by Juice's computer."

I nodded my head and pulled my keys from the door. The lot seemed rather empty and I noticed most of the bikes were missing. I walked back into the bar but, I didn't see anyone. I walked behind the bar to Juice's computer and reached over to the pile of paperwork beside it. As my arm brushed by the computer the screen lit up. As I was pulling the paperwork over towards me I glanced down at the screen in passing. My feet froze in place as I noticed what was up on the screen. I placed the paperwork down again and leaned into the computer. It seems that Opie's finances were pulled up on the screen, the even weirder part was that the transaction history was pulled up and highlighted was a section that said Federal wire transfer. I looked around me to make sure no one else was around. I moved through the open tabs on the computer. It wasn't just Opie's bank account that was pulled up. Dona's was to along with their mortgage and car payments. Why would they be looking into Opie like this? What was going on? "I've just got to go grab my computer, everything should be loaded up by now." I heard Juices voice as it traveled down the hall.

"Shit." I swore under my breath

I was smart enough to know that this is something I was not allowed to know about. I quickly shut the computer and unplugged it. When Juice came into the room I had the computer shut and the cord in my hand. He looked at me confused and I plugged the cord back in. "Hey sorry, Gemma asked me to grab some paperwork and I pulled the cord out by accident." I hurried to come up with some excuse

Juice let out a sigh and smiled at me. He walked over to my side and placed a hand on my back. "Don't worry about it. I was coming to get it anyways."

Juice reached around me and grabbed the computer and after a quick smile at me disappeared once more. I honestly didn't want to wait a second longer to be caught and I took off towards the office. I slipped Gemma her paperwork as she was on the phone and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before I left for home. This made no sense. As I armed my car I pulled my phone out and placed it against my ear. When it went to voice mail again, a sigh escaped my parted lips. "Hey, something serious is going on. You need to call me back, I think they are picking us off-" I started to record

"I need you to put the phone down Savannah and come with me." A sickening familiar voice said from behind me

I turned to face the person talking to me to find Stahl standing beside a black SUV. "Sorry, I've got to go." I spoke through the phone

I walked down the stairs and down the sidewalk towards her. Clay wasn't joking when he said that Otto had done a number on her face."Nice face. What can I help you with? Or are you here to frame me again?"

"No, I'm here to take you to our department of justice facility."

"Am I under arrest?"

"No." She told me

I scoffed, "Then tell me why I would willingly go with you to some facility."

"Because I think Stella would like to see her mommy."

My eyes grew wide and I gritted my teeth together. I looked around me quickly before I hoped into the vehicle. The car ride was quiet as we drove to our destination. I gripped my bag tight in my hands and stared out the window. The only thoughts going through my mind were what Stahl was doing with my daughter and why she was dangling this visit in front of me. What was her end game? When we arrived at the building an agent came and rushed me into the building. "You will have forty eight hours with your daughter as we keep you detained her for questioning."

"What? I thought you said that I wasn't under arrest?" I asked as we stopped in front of a green door.

"Technically you're not, you and your daughter are under our protection and while you stay here, I would like to ask you the odd questions."

"Why are we under protection? No one is going to hurt us?" I asked defensively

Stahl's hand that was hanging on the doorknob fell limp at her side and she took a step towards me. "You honestly don't think that one of those boys that you believe are family wouldn't harm you or threaten your child? That's what you want to bring your daughter into?"

I bit my lip to hide my retort. All Stahl did was give me a snide smile and point at my bag. "Agent Marcus will take your bag and you will receive it back when you leave."

I glared at the Agent beside me who had his hand out for my bag before I let it go. "Good girl." Stahl said as she opened up the door.

In the room stood Dona and her two children along with another agent. But, my eyes were drawn straight to my three year old daughter sat on the floor with a pile of blocks and her hair pulled back into a braid. She looked up when she heard the door open and I stepped into the room. When she saw me her eyes lit up and she pushed herself up as she tried to run towards me screaming out mama. I dropped to my knees encircling my arms around her and pulling her into me. "I'll leave you two alone for a while but, I will be back to have our little discussion." Stahl said from behind me as she left the room

I pulled Stella back away from me so that I could see her better. I placed my hands on either side of her face and kissed her on the forehead. Stella placed her tiny hands on my face squishing them slightly. I leaned my forehead against hers and gave her a smile. "I missed you so much baby."

It was taking everything I had to hold back my tears. She was looking more like me every time I saw her. I pulled Stella onto my lap and she wrapped her legs around my waist and leaned her head against my shoulder. I place one hand on her back and one on her head as I kissed her head several time. Enjoying the feeling of Stella's tiny body in my own. The room was silent for a few more minutes until I looked around to see everyone looking at us. Dona gave me a comforting smile and called her kids attention to her to give us some privacy. I pulled back from Stella and looked her in the eyes, "How's my baby?"

"Good Mama, come play with me?" Stella beamed at me and stood up, tugging on my hand.

I stood up and allowed her to pull me back to blocks she was at earlier.

~~SOA~~

Stella had gone to play with Dona's daughter in the ball pit and I took the opportunity to stand up and walk over to Dona. She was standing off to the corner and looking more worried than ever. Judging from her nail biting and constant movement she didn't have any idea why she was here. "You got a daughter?" Dona asked to avoid thinking of the situation she was in

"She is going on four in a month. I don't see her often." I explained in a whisper

"You must cherish these moments then. Do you mind me asking why?"

I leaned against the wall and looked down at my fingers, "I wasn't ready to be mom and I didn't understand the responsibilities. But, once I had her, I was ready to smarten up for her but I made that decision to late. My aunt had her taken from me and gave her to a friend of hers as a temporary custody. Until I could prove to the courts that I was suitable and stable enough to be a parent I could only ever see her on the consent of her guardians. But, because of my drug habit, it wasn't very often. Every time it would get harder and harder and I would turn to the only escape I knew of."

"When can you go back to court?"

"Six months."

"Are you prepared for that? Have you told anyone?"

"I don't think I will ever be fully prepared but, I want to be the best mother I can be to her. I can't keep doing this in and out thing with her all the time. It just going to hurt her. Either I'm fully in or fully out and I haven't told anyone but you and Luann this so I know my next step is to tell my family. I just don't know how they will take it."

Silence filled the room again as we watched over our kids. "I think you would make a fine mother and I think as long as you're willing to take on the responsibility and help that others will offer. I think Clay and Gemma will be okay with it."

I chuckled quietly to myself and stuffed my hands into my pockets. Only a few more minutes passed by until the door opened and Stahl walked through. Seeing her chance Dona stood to face Stahl head on before she could say anything, "Tell me what the hell is going on?"

"See if the kids want some ice cream?" Stahl told the agent

"Sure." The agent smiled at us

"Is that okay with you two?" Stahl asked us

"Hey kids, go with the lady. Hey Kenny come on! Go with the lady okay? She gonna get you some ice cream." Dona answered

I nodded my head to say that I was okay with it. But, when the agent went to help Stella out of the ball pit Stella looked up to me in a panic. "Mama!" She screamed

The agent backed away and I smiled at my daughter. I went and knelt down at the ball pit picking her up and placing her down in front of me. I smooth out her dress and gripped her hands in mine. "Don't worry baby, this lady is just going to get you ice cream. Then you will come right back to me okay? I promise."

Stella still seemed unsure so she held out her pinky to me. I smiled and wrapped my pink around hers. "Now, you be good for the lady okay?"

Stella nodded her head and wrapped her arms around me tightly before holding her hand out for the lady to take. I watched as the left before I stood up to join Dona. "Seems like she is quite attached to you." Stahl commented

I crossed my arms across my chest, "What can I say, she loves her mom."

"Well hopefully you guys can be with each other all the time." Stahl said almost sarcastically

Both me and Dona sat down with Stahl. When Stahl realized that I wasn't going to reply she faced Dona. "You recently paid three months of back mortgage on your house in cash. Where did it come from?" Stahl asked Dona

Dona didn't answer and Stahl took a deep frustrated breath, "You spent it. You fed your kids on it, how was it earned?"

"I don't know, I didn't ask." Dona replied leaving no room for dispute

"You know Dona your family is falling apart and Savannah your trying to get yours back. Now, I want to help you-" Stahl tried using the sympathetic approach

"Don't pretend like you give a shit about my family or hers." Dona said cutting her off

"We arrested Bobby Elvis for murder, a witness I.D'd him and this man." Stahl told us and slid a picture across the table to us.

I looked down at the sketch to see what looked like to be Opie. "I don't think that Opie pulled the trigger but, he was there." Stahl told us

I clenched my hands, this was her plan? An attempt to get one of us to rat on a member. Dona didn't deny that it was Opie in the sketch and she asked, "Is he going back to jail?"

You could hear the fear that was in her voice, "Not yet no but, the U.S attorney hasn't released the name of the witness and as far as SAMCRO is concerned, only one person saw Bobby commit that murder...Opie. That's why you're here for your own protection."

My eyes shot up from the sketch to Stahl's smug face. I connected the dots between what I saw on Juice's computer and why Dona and her kids were here. "You're setting him up." I accused

Stahl ignored my statement and continued on, "Clay and his crew think that Opie has turned."

"Oh god." Dona exclaimed placing her head between her hands

"Do you have any idea what these guys do to a rat?" Stahl asked

"This is bullshit, they would be doing anything or thinking anything if you didn't set him up like this!" I shouted

"No, Jax would let anything happen to Opie. They've known each other since they were kids." Dona defended

"Well, I certainly hope that Jax has enough pull to make that happen. Because I can only protect him for one more day. Without my help this thing goes one of two ways, Opie is in prison or he is dead." Stahl explained after sending me a glare clearly telling me to shut up

After a moment's hesitation Dona asked, "When can I see my husband?"

"I can take you to him right now, maybe you could get through to him."

Dona nodded and stood up going straight for the door. Stahl collected the papers and opened the door, "Just wait out here for a second."

Stahl closed the door and looked back at me. "I want you to take this time and think about what I could do for you and Stella. I could get her to you faster than those six months but, I can also make it look bad in court. Remember that."

I didn't get the chance to say anything before she walked out. The tears finally broke through and I pulled my knees up to my chest. The only thing I could think of was how much I needed my daughter and how much I needed Happy to help me work through this without just ignoring my phone calls.

~~SOA~~

My time with Stella was up. She had barely left my side the hole time we were together. Opie's mother came to gather Dona's kids and Dona stayed around waiting for Opie and kept me company in the meantime. I was laying with Stella on the floor as I played with her beautiful blonde hair. She had curled up into my neck, I was pretty sure that she knew that our time together was going to be up soon. I watched the clock ticked down each second and with every passing second my heartstrings were being tugged on. The door opened behind me and I knew it was time to go. "Savannah?"

I sat up pulling Stella with me as I turned to the voice. There stood her guardian, my aunt's friend Valerie. When Stella saw her there her hands gripped onto me tightly. I scooped her up in my arms and placed her on my legs. I placed my forehead against hers and her watery blue eyes immediately broke my heart. A few tears fell down my cheeks with hers doing the same. I pushed hers away though and smiled comfortingly at her. "Okay Stella. Aunt Val is here to bring you back to your home."

"But, I wanna stay with you."

A choked gasp came from me but, I hid it by placing a kiss to her forehead. "I will see you again, I promise. Next time you see me, I will never leave you again. You will come home with me and I will never leave you again."

To make her feel better I stuck my pinky out to her. Her chin shook as she cried harder but, she wrapped her tiny pinky around mine. I placed a lingering kiss to her forehead and held her close to my heart again. "Remember Stella, I am always in your heart and I will never leave you behind."

This was something that I had come to tell her over the last couple years. It was something that would instantly calm her down. "Okay Stella we got to go." Valerie called out to her

I looked over to Val and gave her a smile. "Take good care of her." I told her

I let go of Stella and she took Val's hand allowing her to pull her out. With one last look over her shoulder my baby was gone once more. I stood up to meet up with Dona and we left. It wasn't long until we met up with Opie who wrapped his arm around his wife and guided us out of the building. As we were reaching the front of the building Stahl caught up with us. Attempt once more to convince any of us to speak up."You know that I will be picking you up again Op. Once they put this case together you will be tried for murder."

Opie kept his head straight as he continued to guide us forward. "I guess I will see you then." was his only reply

"Going back to the club is a mistake it puts you and your family at risk."

"I can protect my family." Opie snapped

Stahl grabbed onto Dona's arm causing her to stop, "Do you honestly believe that? Huh? You need to start thinking about your kids. Dona what kind of a mother are you going to be?" Stahl made one last attempt with her

Dona's jaw clenched before she replied, "The kind that doesn't bail on her family."

We all started to walk away again, "What about you Savannah? What about Stella? Do you think you will be a good mother bringing her into this life."

I didn't even need to look at her to know what I was going to say. "She is my daughter and I will always protect her. Your empty threats mean nothing to me or my family."

With that we all walked out of the god forsaken building heading straight for home.


	15. Unopened Box

**{Hey guys. Thank you all for your patience and I hope I didn't lose any of you as readers. Remember to review, favorite and follow it all means a lot to me. I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything else that you do not recognize.}**

It was the next day and things were tense everywhere. Between everything with Tara, Jax and Wendy and everything that happened yesterday with Opie's family and me, everyone seems to be walking on egg shells. I still had yet to tell the family about why I was taken in, Opie and Donna promised to keep it between us until I decided to tell everyone. I was looking for the right time to tell Gemma, Clay and Jax first, seeing as they were family. It wasn't just that though, my thoughts were consumed with my daughter and Stahls threat. My heart was aching and the need for my old habits started to creep up. I tried to consume myself in work at the shop and preparing for Abels homecoming and so far it had worked.

There was one thing I had begun to notice as I had started to hang around the shop more. I caught Tig going around Opies truck and bike. He and Clay seemed to keep meeting alone, secrets passing between them. I knew that Opie had told them what had happened so, at first it seemed odd. Then I thought that maybe they were making sure that Stahl hadn't tracked him…that was before their private meetings. Something was up and I didn't like the feeling in my gut.

I was helping Gemma in the living room, setting up for Abels homecoming tonight. We hadn't spoken much since we started, being completely focused on the task at hand. I had once more attempted to contact Happy in the morning, I wanted to tell him about Stella before he found out some other way. I didn't want him to freak out, I also wanted him to tell me that I was crazy about thinking that Clay and Tig were up to something behind the clubs back. But, once more my calls went unanswered. In the moments I could spare I kept looking down at my phone and eventually this caught the attention of Gemma. "Haven't heard from him?" she asked

I smiled at her, "I'm sure he is just busy taking care of his mom." I tried to make up an excuse for him

She climbed down from her ladder and stood in front of me with her hands on her hips. "Baby, did you tell him what you told us? About the crank?" she asked

"I did."

"And?" She asked with a flick of her wrist

"He brushed it off, told me he believed me but, I felt like he was hiding something. Gemma he promised that he would come back to me but…he won't answer my calls and he thought flowers was going to keep me happy. I'm just so angry, the least he could do is answer my phone calls, even just one." I confided

Gemma let out a sigh and wrapped me in her arms. "I warned you baby that this would be a hard road to walk with him. Don't give up on him and you know if you need to go down there and kick some ass then you show him who he is playing with. You can't let these boys walk all over you and when it comes to men like him sometimes you have to show him how much you really care and at times they need to see what they're about to lose so they will hang onto it even tighter."

I hugged her back but, in this moment it wasn't just Happy I wanted to talk to her about, it was Stella to. This was the moment I had been waiting for. I pulled away from her and had opened my mouth to say something when the door opened behind me. I turned around to see a very upset Wendy standing there, "Where have you been? Here take the other end." Gemma asked

I turned around to face Gemma again but, she had left me and grabbed the welcome home banner and started to hang it up. Not knowing who she was exactly talking to Wendy grabbed the other end and climbed up onto the couch to hang it. I continued to blow up some balloons and sat back on the couch. "I know what you're doing." Wendy stated

I slowed my breathing so I could figure out what was going on, "Hanging a banner?" Gemma smartassed

"With me and Tara." Wendy corrected

I tied a balloon while I looked up to see that they both had moved to the floor. Gemma looked irritated with her hands on her hips while Wendy looked almost nervous to be bringing this up. "And what am I doing?"

"Using me to hurt her and Jax. Asking if I still love him, if I want my family back. That was all about pushing her out of the picture."

Gemma rolled her eyes and walked over to me picking up a streamer and walking back over to the pole in the doorway. "Doesn't change anything, still meant everything I said. What do you care what my motives are? You still get the thing you want most and so do I."

"You know I was okay with you slipping me enough crank to kill a horse because of what I did to Abel, I deserved that. But, I am not the same person I was two months ago, I can't be a part of this. You're playing with people's lives Gemma." Wendy said finally loosing it

I was shocked at what had come out of her mouth. I knew that she didn't like Wendy but, she did that to her? If Gemma was capable of this for Jax, her son, what would Clay do if he found out about me and Happy? He had a lot of pull when it came to Happy, the club was everything to him and he would go wherever the club needed him, even if that meant leaving Charming for good. I started to subconsciously squeeze the balloon in my fingers. Gemma had walked back over to the table and had looked at me as she answered Wendy, "I am protecting the innocent. If I step on a few toes in the meanwhile so be it."

"Jesus you really believe that don't you?"

Gemma was getting mad and threw down what she had in her hands, turning to face Wendy once more. "So what?" Putting down that needle somehow gives you the right to judge me? You better take a good long look sweetheart, cause you're burning a hole right through the very thing you can't wait to become. Maybe that's why you hate yourself so much." Gemma ranted

As those words came out of her mouth, thoughts of what she had thought of me when she had met me ran through my head. Did she still see me that way? Did others see me that way? Gemma grabbed onto the cross hanging from Wendy's neck. "The sooner you accept that, the sooner you put down this holy crutch. Jesus is just a guy who cuts my lawn."

They continued to stare at each other but, as the seconds ticked by so did the thoughts running through my mind. Without realizing it, I was squeezing the balloon in my hands so hard that a pop rang through my ears bringing me back to reality. They both looked over at me startled and after a moment, I collected my stuff and went running from the house. I didn't stop until I was a couple blocks away and even then I wasn't sure if I wanted to stop but, my heels were killing my feet. I bent over and removed my shoes revealing in the feel of the hot cement under my feet. I hadn't realized that someone had followed me out of the house until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Wendy standing there, out of breath and worry etched on her face. "Hey, are you okay?" She asked a little out of breath.

I looked around uncomfortable, "Listen I know it got intense in there, it was something I should have waited to talk to her about it."

I shook my head, "They told you?"

She pinched her lips together and nodded her head. A long sigh escaped my lips and I looked up the road debating on running again. "It was just hard to hear."

Wendy nodded her head, "Want to get a coffee?" She asked

I smiled accepting her offer and we started to walk towards the café. We were silent at first then Wendy broke the silence. "How long?"

I knew what she was asking, "Only a few years…but, I was bad." I confessed

"I was no better trust me."

"Did she really do what you said?"

"Well, she gave it to me…it was my choice in the end."

I looked down at the ground and tried to process what I was being told. "Do you love him?"

"Who? Jax? Of course I do, I'm not sure if you understand but, I have loved Jax since the first day I meet him. But, I was weak and I took to crank as if it was my safe haven. It pushed us apart but, even without that being there, I don't know if he would have ever gotten over Tara."

"I do understand; I wouldn't give up honestly. If you still love him and want your family back, you need to fight with every breathe you got. No matter if Gemma wants you to or Tara doesn't, you have a right to try…everyone does." I told her thinking on my own dilemmas

If only I would take my own advice. By then we had arrived at the café and just as we went to cross the street, we saw Tara along with some of her co-workers coming out of the coffee shop. I tried to steer us to the ice cream shop down the street but, she wouldn't listen and took off towards her. She was definitely a woman on a mission. Tara said her goodbyes to her coworkers and walked towards us. "Hey you looking for me?" Tara asked once we were in front of her

"Yeah, I need to ask you a question." Wendy said bouncing from foot to foot

Tara looked at us confused, "Sure."

Wendy looked at me for support and said, "Are you with Jax?"

Tara immediately looked caught off guard and looked down at the ground, "I-I-I-I don't know how to answer that."

"Do you love him?"

"I'm not comfortable having this conversation with you."

"I don't give a shit what you're comfortable with. We've spoken over half a dozen times over the past couple days, you don't think you might have mentioned that your sleeping with my husband?"

"Ex-husband." Tara said trying to make the situation seem better

Instead she seemed to make the situation worse. "Two more months before that's official okay? He's my husband and Abel's our son."

"Hey, you need to check into your sober living facility, get some time. If you and Jax are meant to be together, he'll be there when you get out." Tara snapped

I looked at her shocked and I could feel Wendy's body tense beside mine. Tara had struck a nerve, "And where will you be?"

"I have to get back to work." Tara said

Not letting anymore be said, Tara turned away. "She'll never let you be with him! Gemma hates you, she'll do whatever she can to keep you apart. May as well quit while you're ahead…or alive for that matter." Wendy called after her

Tara had turned around and Wendy had started to walk away. I looked at her for a moment more before I shook my head and followed Wendy away from her.

~~SOA~~

I had curled up in Abel's hospital room with him sleeping in my arms, waiting for Jax to come so we could leave with him. "Come on, were going to meet him downstairs." Gemma told me as she got off the phone with him

Tara stood in the room looking either uncomfortable or angry. Whatever it was, I didn't feel sorry for her. Gemma gathered Abel's things and I stood up with Abel in my arms still. Gemma and Tara seemed to stay behind me to talk about what had happened today no doubt. When I rounded the corner I saw Jax and Wendy walking in together. I smiled at them and walked a little quicker to meet them. All discussions ended there and Jax stood beside me to see his son. I looked up at Wendy who was looking between Jax and her son and Tara who stood slightly off to the side. I passed Abel off to Jax when he reached for him. "Hey little man were busting you out of here today." Jax told him

While he was passed off, Abel started to wake up and fuss. Jax bounced him in his arms and shushed him. "Thanks doc." Jax told her

"Yeah, appreciate it." Wendy agreed

"All right let's get this family home." Gemma said purposefully shoving Tara out of the way and guiding us towards the doors

~~SOA~~

The party was a hit and I managed to forget all my troubles even just for a little while. I was standing outside having a smoke when Gemma walked out and handed me some cash. I blew out the smoke in my mouth and took it with a questioning look on my face. "We're running low on beer and food. Go to the corner store and pick up a little more, there is list there to."

I nodded my head, threw my smoke and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. I reached around the door and grabbed my bag off of the table and dug my keys out. I slid into my seat and turned the key. I turned up the stereo so that let me live my life by Saint Asonia was playing. It felt nice to be out of there so I took a longer way there and decided on the short way back. I had grabbed everything everyone wanted and was currently waiting at a light when I watched what looked to be Opies truck pull up but, instead of it being Opie in there it was Donna. She noticed me and waved, I smiled back at her, I was glad to see that she was in a better mood. After everything that happened over the last few days she deserved it. That's when it happened...all I could hear was the gunshot and the blood that splattered across the window. Before I knew what I was doing I had abandoned my car and started running towards Opie's truck, screaming for Donna. I had barely noticed when the black SUV came from beside the truck and skidded away. As I watched it go down the road, I swear I noticed a familiar curly black hair. At the moment I couldn't concentrate on anybody but Donna. I opened up the truck door and pulled her out and collapsed onto the road with her in her arms.

I curled her head into my arms, tears staining my face as I pulled her away to look at her. I caressed her face pushing her hair away from her face. "No, no, no. Come on Donna stay with me. Your family is waiting for you; you can't die now." I tried to coax her awake

But, she was far too gone for her to even hear me. I could hear someone running in our direction and someone screaming to call nine one one but, I was numb. All the events of the past few days led up to here. The secrets between Clay and Tig, Opie almost dying today and the curly hair I just saw now. A strangled cry escaped my lips as I held her tight to my own body. I had no idea how long I had actually been there and it wasn't until I was pulled off by Unser that I realized that the cops had even showed up. I struggled against him, I didn't want to leave Donna like that for the world to see. I could hear the bikes in the background and I knew that it was going to get rough. I collapsed into Chibs arms when he reached me and my tears and blood soaked clothing touched his. I could hear Opie cries in the background as he screamed for his dead wife. I closed my eyes and tightened my hands gripping onto Chibs shirt. I could hear another vehicles doors slam shut and I opened my eyes to see that Stahl was exiting the vehicle looking incredibly guilty and shocked at the scene in front of her. It was her fault this happened, it was her fault that the club thought that Opie had turned and it was her fault that an innocent mother and friend lay dead on the road. I pulled myself from Chibs, pushing my way through everybody, walking straight towards her. She barely noticed me, that was until my hand connected with her face. The agent with her went to grab me but, she held up her hand. "This is your fault bitch, I hope you burn in hell for the pain you caused today." I hissed

She didn't say anything back and Chibs had once more grabbed my shoulders and steered me away from the gruesome scene. He kept whispering that everything would be alright and all I could do was allow him to take me away and back to my house.

~~SOA~~

Gemma tried to console me but, I was numb and paid her no mind. I sat outside on the deck waiting and waiting for one man to come. I twirled my phone in my fingers and before long I dialed a number as I waited. As expected he didn't answer but, what was unexpected was when a woman answered the phone. "Hello?"

At first I didn't know what to say or what to feel all I could do was choke out "Is Happy there?"

"No, who is calling?" she asked

It wasn't his mother, I knew that by the voice...it was a young females voice. "Just tell him his brothers need him back...someone died."

That's all I could get out as I hung up. More tears threatened to spill and my stomach started to turn as the bike pulled up into the driveway. Clay stepped off the bike carefully and walked up to me the same way. "What are you doing out here kiddo? It's cold let's get you inside." Clay said as he tried to pull me up

I pulled my arm from him and stood up, "You did it didn't you?" I accused

He looked at me confused so I continued, "You and Tig, you didn't believe him. It's your fault...I saw him Clay...I saw him leave the crime scene. You killed her." I nearly shouted

Clay was quicker than I was and he grabbed onto my arm, pulling me up hard and shoving me against the wall, his finger in my face. "Listen little girl, what I do with the club is none of your business. If you get involved again I will put you down. You saw nothing, you heard nothing and you will speak nothing to another person especially a member of this family."

Pain started to coarse through my back and I bit my lip in an attempt not to cry out. When he saw that I wasn't going to fight back his grip relaxed on me and I pushed myself away from him, running straight to my room. I locked the door and threw my phone against the wall, collapsing to the floor. My breathing was labored and tears dripped down my face onto the floor. I stared at an unopened box that was hiding in my closet. A box I swore I would never touch again.

I stood up grabbing the box from the closet.

Walking back over my bed, I slowly opened it.

Staring right back at me was my last needle and bag.


	16. Spilled Secrets

SPILLED SECRETS

 **{Hey guys, I'm back. I will be honest with this and say that even though I knew where I wanted to go with this, I actually had quite a bit of trouble writing it, so hopefully this lives up to everyone's expectations. Remember to review, favorite and follow it all means a lot to me. I do not own Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything else you do not recognize.}**

A loud bang was pulling me roughly out of my deep sleep. I sat up abruptly from the floor that I had collapsed on. "Savannah! Unlock this door right now! If you don't I will come in there and drag your boney ass out of there!" Gemma's irritated voice screamed through the door.

My eyes grew wide at her threat and I scrambled on my knees to unlock the door. That's when I felt my foot hit something, pushing it away from me. I looked behind me to see the box lying on the floor, the lid halfway open. Beyond that was my phone that was smashed into thousands of pieces. My world seemed to still as memories of the night before flashed across my mind. If possible my eyes grew wider, Gemma's knocking was becoming even more consistent and I ran towards the box. Not even looking at it as I slipped the lid over and threw it into my closet. I stood up and straightened my clothes and hair the best I could and walked quickly to the door. I opened the door to see a fuming Gemma, she shoved past me and into the room. I rolled my eyes and turned to look at her. She stood in my room with her hands firmly placed on her hips. "I have been knocking on that door for thirty minutes you cannot be serious!" She yelled

I put my hand on my forehead, "Jesus Gemma stop with the yelling. What is so important?"

"Do not give me that, it is Dona's wake and you were supposed to be up and helping Jax with Opie. And what are you doing laying in bed sleeping?"

"Shit." I swore hanging my head

"That's right, now get your ass ready for Jax. You have less than an hour."

Gemma stormed right out of the room just as quick as she walked in. I closed the door and pressed my back against it for a moment, letting my thoughts consume me. I looked back over to the closet, the image of that stupid box. A box that I was going to live to regret. "Now!" Gemma's voice rang through the house

I jumped in surprise not thinking that she would yell at me. Without giving another thought I walked straight to the basket that was on my bed full of my clean clothes. I slipped on a wine red long sleeve shirt that dipped low in the front and a flower designed skirt that went just above my hips but, landed just mid thigh. I slipped on a pair of black ankle wedges and were tied up in the front and a zipper on the side. Just as I finished brushing my hair, I could hear Jax's voice as he spoke to Gemma. I looked at myself quickly in the mirror and tried to ignore the horrible complexion I had even with the makeup on.

I grabbed my bag and walked out of my room, making a point to ignore my closet. "Savannah!" Gemma called to me

I closed my eyes as I could feel the oncoming headache coming. "Stop yelling, I'm here."

Both eyes came towards me, Jax's were shocked and Gemma seemed angry. I ignored both looks and walked out of the house straight for Jax's bike. I grabbed the helmet and started to do it up. By the time I was done Jax was standing beside me with an odd look on his face. I rolled my eyes and placed my hands on my hips, "Don't give me that look, I have been listening to her yelling all day and my head hurts."

Jax snorted a little and hoped on the bike. I smiled back and climbed on after him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

~~SOA~~

I had been at Opie's all day, helping out with the wake and in all honesty trying not to spaz on every person that gave their condolences to Opie. Even he was getting sick of it in the end. I told him to go relax for a few minutes and I would put his kids to bed. I made a slow incline up the stairs while I dried my hands from the dishes I just finished. I opened Kenny's door first and peaked in. When I didn't see him in there I went to Ellie's room and looked in there as well. My eyebrows scrunched together as I realized that they weren't in her room either. There was only one other room they could be in. I turned around and walked down the hall towards Donna and Opie's room. I creaked open the door but, Kenny's small voice came through the door before I could finish opening it all the way. "Ellie…is mommy gone forever."

She stayed silent for a moment, I knew this question was hard especially since she was only nine and he only seven. "I don't know."

"What happens now?"

"We stick together."

It was then that I could hear his cries. He hadn't cried all day, it's been Ellie all day. It was actually starting to worry me. I knocked timidly on the door and opened the door hesitantly. They were locked in arms with Kenny curled up to his sister, both with a tear streaked face. Even though I had only known them for a few months now, it broke my heart that because of my father they would never grow up with a mother. I knew their pain and it was making it so much worse to look at them. Ellie sniffled and asked, "Where is daddy?"

I looked behind me before I walked in and closed the door. I started walking hesitantly towards the counter before I asked, "He is just getting ready to come to bed. Do you mind if I join you for a moment?"

They looked at each other before they pulled apart from each other, giving me enough room to move in-between them. Once I laid in-between them I pulled each of them into my side and held onto them tight, giving each of them a kiss on the forehead. "Can I tell you a secret?"

They both looked up at me with their tear stained faces. I held them closer to my body and I told them "I lost my mother to and when I was very young."

"What happened?" Kenny asked

Ellie smacked her brothers arm, "You don't ask her that!" she snapped

"Now Ellie, that wasn't very nice. My mom was very sick Kenny and there was no way the doctors could fix her. So an angel came and held her close as she took her up to heaven. Just like your mommy."

They were quiet for a few minutes, "Were you there? Daddy says you were?" Ellie asked

I could feel the tears pulling at the corners of my face and I bite the inside of my cheek before I answered. The feelings of me holding Donna once more to my body came to mind. "Yes babies I was."

"Was she in pain?" Kenny asked more tears springing to his eyes

A few tears started to slip down my face and I tried to blink them away unsuccessfully. "Of course not baby, she didn't feel anything. In fact, she gave me a message to tell you. She said that she loves you very, very much and that she wants you to protect and love and look after each other. To love your dad and make sure he is always smiling. Can you do that for your mom?"

Instead of answer, they both broke out in loud sobs and clung to me even harder. I pulled them into me and laid my head on both of theirs, trying to hide my own tears. I couldn't imagine this happening to my baby girl. I watched Donna die and I couldn't do anything to save her. Now her kids are left motherless and Opie is left alone and without a wife. My heart was breaking for each of them. The only thing I knew to do in this situation was to sing and hope that they took comfort in it like I did when I lost my mother. "Don't be mad if I cry

It just hurts so bad sometimes

Cause everyday its sinking in

And I have to say goodbye all over again

You know I bet it feels good

To have the weight of this world

Off your shoulders now

I'm dreaming of the day

When I'm finally there with you

I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon

Save a place for me, save some grace for me

I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon

I have asked the questions why

But I guess the answers for another time

So instead Ill pray with every tear

And be thankful for the time I had you here

So you just save a place for me, save a place for me

I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon

Save a place for me, save some grace for me

I'll be there soon, I'll be there

I wanna live my just like you did

And make the most of my time just like you did

And I wanna make my home up in the sky

Just like you did, oh, but until I get there

Until I get there

Just save a place for me, save a place for me

Cause I will be there soon

Save a place for me, save a place for me

I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon

Don't be mad if I cry

It just hurts so bad."

Once I was done I had looked down to see that they both had fallen asleep. I carefully detangled myself from their arms and walked quietly to the door. As I walked out and closed the door I saw Opie sitting against the wall with his hands in his head. I bent over to and held him to as his shoulders shook. I knew that speaking to a man with as much pride as Op would ruin this moment. This was a moment he needed so anything I thought I would keep to myself. He eventually pulled away from me and gave me a tired but thankful smile. "Even though I know that she didn't say that…thank you for that. They needed that…I needed that."

I breathed a sigh of relief "Of course Op but, I really didn't do anything. You are all in pain and you need all the help you can get right? I know what it's like and to be honest I needed a little of that to."

Opie ran his hands through his hair before he stood up, pulling me with him. He gave me a hug before he rustled up my hair, "There is someone waiting for you outside. I think he is going to bring you home."

I looked at him confused but gave him one last hug and kiss before I went outside curiously. My curiosity disappeared as I saw him with his rugged handsome looks. As my heart leapt to know that he was home, it was harder to see him because last night immediately came to mind. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and crossed my arms glaring at him, "What are you doing here? Finally decided I was worth talking to?"

"You know that wasn't how it was." He tried to defend himself

But, I wasn't having any of it, "It was a phone call Hap, I'm sure your mother wouldn't have mind especially while she slept considering I was more than patient to wait till whatever time. Or maybe you were too busy to even think about me? Occupied by something else?"

Happy looked at me confused and stood up from his bike. When he took a step towards me, I took a step back and a low growl escaped his throat. "What is your problem?"

"My problem? My problem is that you promised we were okay, you said you would come home. What do I find flowers? God damn flowers! Then as I sit by the phone waiting patiently for you to answer or call me back, I still got nothing. Even as all this shit is going down, were I needed you, where were you? Ignoring me and fucking some bimbo that by the way answered your phone on the worst night possible!" I shouted at him

He seemed to mull over my words before he took a step back to look over me. "Girl I don't know what you're talking about but, there has been no girl I have touched since you."

"Don't even, I don't want to hear the lies anymore Hap. I bet you're not even here for me, I bet you're here because Clay called you because that's what you are. You're his dog. God dammit Happy you're so loyal to this club that you are blind to everything else going on around you. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have done what I did!"

Happy's eyes turned dark and he took a few steps towards me. I knew it was coming, I pushed his buttons. I didn't move and life seemed to slow down as I waited for what was going to happen. "What's going on?" A gruff voice asked from the door

Happy stopped short of me and I turned around to see that Opie was standing in the doorway. He was obviously trying to figure out what was going on between us. "Hey bro." Happy said plainly

An awkward silence settled between all of us, it was Happy's phone going off that disrupted it. I glared at him as he looked at it. His face tightened and his eye flickered up to me for a second before he opened his phone, "Yeah?"

I rolled my eyes and tapped my foot impatiently on the ground. My emotions were starting to get the better of me. Happy listened for a moment, "Yeah, I'll be right there just gotta drop Savannah off." He replied through the phone

I scoffed and turned around, "Don't even bother."

With that I walked away not even giving him the chance to reply. Opie stepped aside, letting me through but moved straight back to the doorway. I don't know what happened from there as I went straight to the kitchen to grab a glass of water for my dry mouth. It wasn't long before I heard Opie close the door and I just hoped that he hadn't let Happy in. I heard keys jingle and I turned around to face Opie who was handing me a set of keys. I grabbed them hesitantly. "I'm not going to ask what that was about that's your life. Happy said that your car was brought in to the yard by Gemma and she is still there. Take the car and come back with it tomorrow…I won't be using it for a while."

I could see the sadness in his eyes. That car was the last place he saw his wife alive and it was all my dad's fault. I stared at the keys that he was offering me the guilt overwhelming me. I wanted to tell him but, even as I opened my mouth the words froze as my mind wandered to the back to the threat Clay spoke to me last night. I closed my mouth and smiled at him, "Thank you. I'll come back tomorrow with it, make sure you and the kids are doing okay?"

We gave each other one last hug before we departed. I watched him standing in the doorway through the rear-view mirror. A couple tears sliding down my face as my eyes slid back to the road.

~~SOA~~

I pulled up to TM and parked Opie's car beside mine. I had started walking straight to my car without really thinking about anything besides my unexpected meeting with Happy. I was just placing my keys in my car door when the thought dawned on me that I could get one of the boys to drive Opie's car back to him. That way I would avoid another run in with Happy until I could at least get my head on straight. I pulled my keys out and walked over to the bar doors. The doors were slightly ajar so I started to push it open, that was until Jax's voice reached my ears, "What's the matter?"

"The info on that witness just came out. She's a seventeen-year-old girl Jax." Juices sullen voice came after

I felt goose bumps immediately rise on my skin. Were they talking about the witness who placed Bobby and Opie at the murder scene. A moment of silence passed until Jax muttered under his breath, "Holy shit, where are they?"

I was frozen to the spot, was that where Happy was called out to? Rustling could be heard before Clay spoke up, "What are you doing? Jax where the hell you going?"

I could hear footsteps coming towards the door, "Jax!" Clay yelled when he got no answer out of Jax

Jax footsteps stopped abruptly and he yelled back, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going to save her!"

"Jax think about what you're doing!" Clay yelled back at him

Jax didn't say anything and started to walk towards the door again. I was to angry for the rational side of my brain to tell me to move and hide. I was beyond mad by the time Jax pulled open the door, I was furious. He looked at me shocked and so did Juice and Clay. "What are you doing here?" Jax asked shocked

My eyes locked on my dad's "Is that where Happy is?"

Jax looked behind him to Clay who seemed to be assessing the situation carefully. When I received no answer my hands clenched hard at my sides and I yelled, "Answer me!"

Jax took a step back "Yeah."

That's all it took and I had already spun around on my heel and stomped towards my car. I could faintly hear Jax yelling at me to stop. It wasn't until his hands encircled my wrist, did I stop. I whirled around on him and shouted, "What do you want! Let me go!"

Jax let go of my wrist and grabbed onto my shoulders, "What do you think you're going to do?"

"I'm going to go stop him that's what!"

I was shaking by now and Jax tried to keep his voice calm as he spoke to me. "Not that I don't understand why you are so mad but, why are you more upset when you found out Happy was involved?"

I shoved him off me and took a few steps back. "Because I have a daughter to! One that will eventually be that age! What if that was her, scared and alone and on top of it has how many bikers trying to kill her! That's why Jax because that could be my baby girl and he would be killing her like it was nothing because the club asked because that is his fucking job!" I screamed

This was not how I wanted my daughter to be introduced but, it slipped out. I was to mad to care at that moment in time. Confusion crossed his face and a sigh escaped my lips as I buried my hand into my hair. "I won't just sit by and wait this time Jax, I just won't." I spoke quieter this time

Jax's jaw tightened and he walked over to my side. "How did you suppose you were going to find him?"

An exasperated chuckle bubbled out of my throat and he placed a hand on my shoulder. "Follow me but, on two conditions. One Clay never finds out and second you stay outside I will send him out to you."

All I could do was nod my head and Jax kissed the top of my head before he headed to his bike. I finally unclenched my fingers while I walked back to my car. As soon as I sat in the car, I looked down at my hands and the cuts the keys made in them. I hadn't been so angry in so long and it almost scared me at how angry I had just got. I shook my head and placed my hands on the wheel I placed the keys into the ignition and followed Jax.

We drove for a while until we landed in front of house that was mixed among others. But, seemed rather quiet and secluded. Jax got off his bike and pointed one finger at me and motioned to the ground with it. I knew to stay put and to be honest I knew that if I walked into that house as angry as I was no good would come of it. No I had a better idea and I didn't give two hoots if Happy got mad or not. I tapped my finger impatiently on the wheel and waited for Happy. After a good ten minutes he came sauntering outside and walked to my vehicle. As he tried to open the door I pressed the button down to lock it.

I could almost feel the anger radiate off of him as he bent over and tapped on my window. I rolled the window down just a little but, didn't bother to look at him. "Get on your bike and follow me. Do not ask a single question and do not make me come back for you."

"Who the hell do you think your-"he started to speak

"Happy…I will not repeat myself. If you want anything to do with me, you will follow me."

I didn't wait for his reply and I rolled up the window. He pushed his hands rather hard off the roof of my car but, he did what he was told and walked towards his bike. I waited until he started up the bike before I pulled off and drove to my destination.

~~SOA~~

I drove faster than him trying to beat him to my destination but, not lose him at the same time. I was glad when I didn't see either of Gemma's or Clays vehicles in the driveway. I got out quickly and slammed my door heading straight for the front door of my house. I could hear him cut the engine to his bike as I opened the door. I ignored his shouts for me to wait and walked towards my bedroom. I ripped open my closet door and stared hard at the box I had thrown in there earlier this morning. The front door of the house slammed shut and I reached down and grabbed the box and walked over to my pillow ripping a photo of - out of it and at that exact moment Happy came through my door, slamming the door shut. His eyes were black, I knew he was teetering on the edge and I knew what I was about to do was going to be what pushed his very last button. "What game do you think you are playing here huh? First you want nothing to do with me and now your dragging me back here and for what!"

"For this!" I shouted as I through the box on the ground, its contents spilling everywhere.

He looked down at the box that had exploded all over the floor, with my one needle and bag that I hadn't used. If it was even possible his eyes turned darker and a threatening growl echoed around the room. He took a step towards me and I hoped onto my bed to get a higher ground over him. "Are you seriously back into this? Do you not ever learn! Is this why you have been acting the way you are today?" He started to shout

I didn't blame him for thinking that after all for all he knew there was more than just that in there to begin with. But I had the upper hand and I was going to keep it that way. "When you watch someone you knew get shot in from of you and that you figure out that the man that created you was behind it because he couldn't wait to find out who the witness was for sure. So guess what I do, once more I try to call the one man that said he would be there knowing full well he wouldn't answer but this time the phone was picked up. But not by him instead some bitch answers the phone not his mom but some piece of ass!"

Happy backed off finally, his anger dissipating with all the information that was just given to him. I don't know what shocked him more but I was far from done. "So yes I kept this as a reminder of what my life was like and that night I turned to it for the comfort that I used to get from it," I continued on in a calmer voice. I held out the photo of - for him to see. "That was until I remembered this little girl...my little girl that has been waiting for her mama to come get her like the millions of promises that have been made to her. This is my little girl just like Donna and that girl you were going to kill tonight. They were someone's little girl to."

 **{I know for those who have been waiting for my updates are probably getting impatient with me. The two chapters I have waiting to be posted need to be reviewed before I post them so keep an eye out over the next couple days.}**


	17. Is It Over?

**{Hey guys, here is your next update. Sorry for the wait but, I hope it is worth it for you. I would like to thank** ** _Reshot redhead1985_** **I am glad you have joined and are enjoying the story so far. To** ** _HigherAngel_** **one of the things that can bug me about a story is when you they don't explain backgrounds. I feel like it gives my character so much more in the story when you understand her background. To** ** _Legolas'Girl 31, Foreverkee, Samantha Renk, Emmettluver2010 and KellsABiach_** **I am glad that you found my story again, I always loved your reviews. To** ** _ARG613_** **I am glad that you enjoy the story so far and here is your next update. To the** ** _guest_** **who reviewed, if you keep reading shortly her daughter will make another appearance and you will find out if she will or not. To** ** _CherryNicole98_** **thank you for the compliment, reading that gave me the inspiration I needed when I got stuck in this chapter. To everyone else who has favorite or followed since thank you very much. Don't forget to review, favorite and follow it all means a lot to me. I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything else that you do not recognize}**

He stared at it with a look even I couldn't pin point. He gently grabbed the photo from me, his thumb caressing the photo. After a few moments he looked up at me, "You have a daughter?"

Tears welled in my eyes. "I do and I had her taken away from me once before Hap and I will not risk having her taken away again. I can't have someone that would just blindly kill a little girl without a second thought around her. I thought the club had a code but just like my father it is another hypocritical lie."

As soon as the words left my mouth I instantly knew what they meant...we were over. "It can't be just that-"

"No your right it's not just that. I need someone who will be by my side the way I wanted to be by yours. I was willing to stand by you on everything and you blew it with one phone call." I walked off my bed towards my door and opened it, "I think it's time that you left."

It was hard to look him in the eye but, what was done was done."She wasn't anything to me." he almost shouted at me

I stared at him in disbelief, "At least be man enough to admit what you did. Get out."

He tried to reach out to me while he said my name. I swatted his hand hard and shoved him towards my door. My heart was shattering and I could deal with this anymore. "Leave me alone!" I shouted again

"I think you need to leave bro." A males voice spoke up behind us

We both looked down the hall to see that Jax stood there staring him down. The world seemed to stop as we all stared at one another. Happy eyes fell to mine before a low growl sounded from him and he looked down before leaving us both. I waited to say anything until the sound of the front door being slammed rang through the house. I looked up to Jax, "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to make sure you got home okay. I'm glad I came back."

I ran my fingers through my hair and walked past him into the kitchen. I pulled out a bottle of rum and put two glasses on the counter. Jax leaned against the counter with his back facing the counter with a raised eyebrow. I downed my first glass, hissing at the taste that slipped down my throat. I poured us both one this time and passed him one. He didn't hesitate in grabbing it but still kept his eyes on me. "Want to tell me the truth now? You sprung a lot on me tonight."

I knew he wanted to know about Stella and Happy. I took a deep breath, turning around and leaning on the counter as well. "Where do I even start. I lost my daughter when she was born. My aunt thought it would be better for her to be with a family member. Of course at the time I didn't really care. It wasn't until the opportunity to see her again rose that my heart broke not being her mother. So we made an arrangement. We went to court and arranged it so that in four years I could have Stella back as long as I stuck through her life, paid money when I had to and stayed clean. I did all but three. She knows that I'm her mom but, she believes that I work away and that's why she stays with my aunt. When Opie and I were taken in, Stahl tried to use her against me to get me to rat. It didn't work obviously but, now I have six months before I go to court to get her back."

Jax nodded his head as he listened intently, "Have you told mom? Or Clay?"

I looked down into the auburn liquid. "No, I'm going to have to and soon."

"And Hap?"

"There was something there but, to be honest I don't know anymore. After tonight I don't know what to do. I thought the rule was that you don't kill women and children. But, yet Donna has died and that poor scared girl was almost killed today if you hadn't done something. And if that's not bad enough. He was involved. I accepted who he was when I met him and learned to love even that side of him. Then he abandons me here and the one time I can manage to get a hold of him...it wasn't him that answered the fucking phone. Is that how you men treat us? My heart can't take that."

I threw back the drink and placed it on the counter. "It is one thing to bring her into this life but, it is a whole other thing to bring her into a home that has a man that is killing women and ordering little girl's death. What do I do Jax?"

My fingers gripped the counter hard and tears rolled down my cheeks. "Clay?" Jax asked

"You know exactly who I am talking about. I've seen the way you look at him, you know he did it. I just fucking happened to be there!"

I smashed my hand against the counter, I grimaced in pain and held my hand to my stomach. Jax chuckled beside me and pulled me into his arms. "I know how you feel. I have a feeling he did it but, without proof there is nothing that either of us can do. When you get your daughter, I promise I will protect you both. There is no more blood that needs to fall in this family. I've never had a sister before so I don't know how to do this but, I will always be here."

All the emotion that I had been bottling up since Happy left exploded and a sob escaped my lips. Jax's arms encircled around me and I gripped his sweater tighter in my hands. "How about you stay at my house, hang around Abel for the night. Maybe that will make you feel better."

I looked up to Jax whipping my tears on my sleeve before I nodded my head. I followed him out of the house to his bike and hoped on.

 **(6 months later)**

The last few months had been chaotic. I had started to prepare for my court date to get my daughter back. I hadn't seen much of Happy since that day but, when we have the looks he sends me breaks my heart. Opie had disappeared since the funeral. Me and his parents had taken care of his kids making sure that they knew that their dad loved them. Happy had left today to go gather Kozik from SAMTAC and bring him back here for Bobbies arrival.

I was just putting my lipstick on when my phone started to ring. I looked over to it to see a number I didn't know if I was going to see until the day of court. I placed the cap gently on my lipstick and hesitantly reached for my phone. I looked at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath before I answered my phone, "Valerie? Is everything okay?" I asked a little worried

"Stella is fine don't worry. She is the reason I called though." Valerie seemed a little unsure of herself as she spoke to me

"What is it?"

"Listen it's not that I don't believe that you are not ready for this. You are definitely more stable than last time I saw you. But, I don't want to see Stella hurt so I have a favor to ask you."

I knew she was just saying what she was out of concern but, my anger still rose with what she was saying. I didn't say anything but, she spoke up for me, "I want you to take her for the night. Get to know her, make sure that this is what you want. Because once you take her she is yours for life. The drugs all of it...it needs to be left in the past so you can create a future with her."

A relieved chuckle escaped my lips, I had told everyone about Stella but, it still made me nervous. I needed to get over it though so I smiled instead "Of course. When should I pick her up?"


	18. Around She Came

**{Hey guys I am back. Everything is updated and everything is fixed in all stories. My old account will not be used anymore so if you would like to reach me or wait for updates, this is the account you want! I would like to start by thanking Legolas' Girl 31, decadenceofmysoul and Storylover00 for your continued reviews I am glad you enjoyed the new chapter and hopefully enjoy the next just as much. To Emmettluver2010 yea I decided now was a good time to bring her in and of course we all know it just going to get hectic from here. Thank you to everyone who has followed or favorite since it all means a lot to me. I like every other writer feeds on reviews, favorites and follows so don't forget to do it if you want quicker updates. I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything else that you do not recognize.}**

I crossed my legs as I leaned against my car, staring at my old childhood house. My nails tapping against my car as the house door opened. A chuckle escaped my lips as my eyes landed on my beyond excited daughter. She was wearing a dark purple tutu with a pair of white leggings and black shirt that says I'm a little rebel. "Mama!" She shouted as she struggled down the stairs

I smiled at her and opened up my arms to catch her as she ran towards me. Valerie and my aunt started to walk down the stairs after her but, my attention was solely on how good it felt to have my daughter in my arms. "Hello baby, are you ready to go?" I asked her while I pushed her hair from her face

She gave a firm nod as her fingers tangled into my hair. I could tell by the look on my aunts face that she wanted to talk to me without Stella around. I passed her over to Val with a smile. "Why don't you let auntie put you in my car while I talk to other auntie."

Stella seemed wary at first but, didn't say anything when Valerie walked towards my car. I took a few steps away from my car to give us more privacy and I crossed my arms across my chest getting ready for the lecture that was coming my way for sure. "How is Charming?" she asked me

"It's been fine. Nice quiet town and Clay treats me as if I was a part of the family to start." I replied trying to keep the conversation short

"I heard someone was killed last week-"

I raised my hand, I couldn't do this. "Yes someone died that had relations to the family but, it's not like people are dying left right and center. You can't stop this from happening, it's time for me to be Stella mother. Are you really going to deny me that?"

She seemed to be biting her lip a little. "Is she going to be safe there is what I am trying to ask Savannah. I know that you can be a great mother to her and I am entirely grateful to them for getting you clean but, is Charming really the best place for her?"

I looked over to Valerie who was playing with Stella in my car. I would be lying if I would say that I wasn't worried about that but, I would protect her with my life and I needed my daughter. "Tacoma is not good for me. You and I know that. I'm not saying that Charming is perfect but, it is safe for us. I have a support group there and even with temptation around me, I don't feel the need to smoke up again. I know you have your doubts but, I will take care of her. "

It didn't seem like she could have come up with any argument at that moment so I gave her a hug and walked back to the car. "I'll bring her home tomorrow morning? Thank you for this." I told Valerie as I gave her a hug

"I thought this would be best. Give me a call if you need anything though."

I nodded my head and got back into my car. I adjusted my mirror so that I could still see behind me but so that I could see Stella to. "Ready?" I asked her

Her face exploded with a huge smile and she clapped her hands together. I turned my car over and started to drive towards Charming.

~~SOA~~

"Mom? Why are we at a hospital?" Stella's voice brought me out of my trance

"We are going to meet your nephew and gramma." I told her as I got out of the vehicle

I came around to her side and opened the door to unbuckle her. I pulled her out of the car and placed her on the ground. "You stay with me okay?"

She gripped my hand tightly as we walked together. I knew I had nothing to worry about with her, she wouldn't leave me even if I told her to. I nodded my head to the nurse as I walked up to her, "Is Gemma still here with Abel?"

"Go around the corner fourth door on the left." She replied with a smile

I started to walk towards the door but, I could feel Stella slowing down. When I looked down to her she had a weird look on her face, I crotched down in front of her and took her hands in mine. "What's wrong?"

"You said we are meeting gramma...can I call her that?"

I knew that this was strange territory for the both of us but, if anything this little girl would worm her way into all the boys hearts...maybe even Happy. I grabbed her from under her arms and pulled her into my arms. "Of course you can baby, Gemma would love that."

I could feel her hands grip my shirt hard but, she didn't squirm. I went to the door and opened it to see Gemma holding Abel. As soon as her eyes landed on my daughter she smiled. "Is this Stella?"

"Yes, Stella this lady here is Gemma and the little boy in her arm is Abel. That is your nephew."

Gemma placed Abel down into his car seat and turned back to us. "Gramma Gemma is just fine sweetheart." Gemma told Stella while holding her hands out to us

Stella gave me a hesitant look before she went into Gemma arms. That didn't last long as Gemma started to give her a bunch of kisses and started to tickle her sides. Stella instantly started to giggle and squirm in her arms. After Gemma stopped laughing with Stella she looked over to me. "She is so beautiful Savannah, look just like your mommy don't you." Gemma complimented

"Thank you." I smiled at the scene in front of me

I picked up Abel and brought him over to Stella so she could meet him. She reached her hand out to touch Abel's fingers. She grabbed them in her's and pulled them a little. All of us had smiles on our faces until the door opened behind us. We looked over to the door and I could feel the atmosphere get tighter when Gemma looked to Tara who stood in the door awkwardly. I laid Abel down and grabbed Stella from Gemma as they started their usual banter. I put Stella in the chair beside Abel and stood up to face the other to females. "He's perfect." Tara started the conversation

"The echo's?" Gemma asked

"Clean. C.B.C's, C.M.P's are all normal. His weight needs to come up a little but other than that-" Tara read off her chart

"He's still real fussy with the feedings." Gemma interrupted

"Could be the lactose. We-we can try soy-base." Tara looked back down to her chart

"I don't wanna turn him into a little vegan pussy." Gemma spoke quickly

"Gemma!" I lectured looking back to the kids

She rolled her eyes but looked back to Tara, "He can drink it in his wife beater onesie." Tara retorted

A small laugh came from me and Gemma looked a little more amused as she looked to me. " oh, Dr. funny. How's his sleep apnea? You're there pretty much every night."

Here we go. Tara finally looked up from her chart with a less than amused smile on her face. "Times I'm there, he is sleeping fine."

"Good." Gemma turned to Abel and started to buckle him in. "Let's get you guys to the club house and this little girl can meet the rest of the family, are you coming tonight doc?" Gemma said in her usual tone

"I'm not sure yet. I probably will at least to welcome Bobby back." Tara replied

"Hmp." Gemma grunted before picking Abel up

I took Stella hand in mine and walked out with Gemma. Gemma walked with me to my car first and waited until I slipped Stella into her car seat. She waited until I closed the door before she spoke up to me, "Are you going to tell him?"

I rolled my eyes, "No, if he sees her tonight then good for him."

I tried to walk to my side of the car but, Gemma grabbed my arm, "You can't stay mad at him forever baby."

"And why not?"

"Because you love him," I opened my mouth to dispute but she cut me off, "I know the look of love and you both have it. Give him a chance?"

I bit my lip so hard I could actually taste the copper in my blood. Images of that night and what my over active imagination had thought up came to mind. "I can't." was all I could say before the tears threatened to spill

I sat in my car effectively ending the conversation. "Where we going next mommy?"

I smiled at her in the mirror, "We are going to see the rest of the family, our family."

~~SOA~~

I gripped Stella's hand as I walked with her to the club doors. We walked in just as church was getting out, all the boys turned their attention to us. Stella got nervous around the big bikers and clung to my leg her big blue eyes taking in everything around her. I smiled at the group and spoke, "Hey guys, I brought someone for you to meet. This is my daughter Stella."

The boys lined up to meet her and after we got through the baddest of the bad, mainly Tig and Clay she had loosened her grip and giggled with all the attention. Jax stood on my right and was the last to meet her. He bent down to her level and pushed his hair out of his face. "Hello beautiful."

Her face beamed and she stretched out her hand, "Stella." She said politely

He looked at me before he scooped her up in his arms, "I'm Jax your uncle."

"Are you Abel daddy?" she asked

"Yes I am."

Jax seemed to grow attached to her quickly and took off with her to the bar to get her a drink. I smiled as I watched them go. "She looks just like you." a voice said beside me

I turned to face the voice and just into his arms, it was Kozik. "Spikey!"

He laughed into my ear and wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me into him. "Hello butterfly, miss me?"

"What a silly question, why didn't I see you come out of church?" I asked as I slid down onto my feet

"We just arrived actually, for Bobby welcome home."

"We?" I asked

I stepped away from him to see a rather gorgeous looking brunette standing beside a very angry looking Happy. When Happy eyes met mine, I could see the darkness lurking there but the girl beside him brought my attention to him. "Ava." she held her hand out to me

"Savannah." I shook her hand

Something about her voice sounded familiar, I just couldn't put my finger on it. "Are you Clay and Gemma daughter?" She asked rather abruptly

I looked over to Kozik wary of answering her. "Yes."

She tilted her head to the side, "How has no met your daughter then?"

I narrowed my eyes at her, "I don't think that is any of your-" I started to tell her off

Kozik and Happy cut me off when they stood between us. Happy pushing me away and Kozik pushing her the opposite way. I shoved his hand away from me and turned to face him, glaring at the girl over his shoulder, "Who is she to question anything that goes on in here and who are you to think it is okay for you to touch me."

My eyes widen when I realized what came out of my mouth. Was this seriously how mean I had become to him? I may be a woman scorned but, as Gemma stated I did love him. I crossed my arms and looked to the ground, "Sorry."

A shriek startled the both of us and we looked to see Tig showing her a magic trick causing her to giggle and shriek in joy. My eyes and postured softened at the sight of my daughter and the tension between us seemed to dissipate. "She is beautiful, where is her dad?"

I looked over to him to see him looking at her with a fond look. "Hopefully dead in a ditch somewhere. He found out I was pregnant and ran saying it wasn't his and that I was a whore for sleeping around. She was and will always be better off without him."

We stood staring at each other for a minute, "Can we talk?" He asked after a moment

I bit my lip, "No, I'm sorry Hap I can't do this right now."

I ran my hand through my hair as I walked away towards my daughter and the men I had grown to love so much.

~~SOA~~

It had reached night time and a party grew as we all waited for Bobby to arrive. The boys had grown so attached to Stella that we walked around to mingle with others. I was pushing Stella on the swing as she requested when Ava walked up. "So I figured out who you are?"

I really had no need to talk to her and for some reason that I had yet to put my finger on I really didn't like her. "I thought we established that this afternoon." I said rather bluntly

"Well yes but there I knew you from somewhere else."

I didn't say anything back to her, I didn't want to play her game. My eyes connected with Kozik who seemed alarmed that she was talking to me. I narrowed my eyes as I continued to push Stella. "Fine, I will just talk. Happy talked about you once and I've heard stories from Kozik but I never knew that we talked before, on Happy phone that one time."

My hands gripped tightly to Stella swing and pushed her to a halt. "Go see uncle Jax please Stella." I tried to say as calm as I could.

I watched closely as Stella ran away into Jax arms. I barely noticed when Kozik and Happy started to walk to us. I clenched my jaw and turned towards her, my fingers cracking as I curled them into fist.


	19. I Love You, Don't Leave

**{Hey guys did you miss me? If you don't like anything or want to see a new story or something added don't be afraid to leave it in a review or message me. I have three stories on a trial run, a Steve Rogers(Captain America)/OC, a Daryl Dixon(Walking Dead)/OC and pretty soon a Joker(Suicide Squad)/OC. If I don't feel like it's going anywhere by the fifth or sixth chapter I will discontinue it. Same applies to any others anybody want me to take on. I do not own anything to do with anything to do with Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything else that you do not recognize.}**

My hands clenched and unclenched. This was the reason why I am not with him right now? Are you kidding me? Sure she was beautiful but what did he say but, I was going to let her know who she fucked with. "You sure have some guts to come over her and shove that in my face." I seethed

She gave me a confused look and once she realized I held a threatening stance she started to back up. "Hey listen-"

"No you listen," I cut her off pointing my finger at her, "You ruined something that was so hard for me to accept! You were the reason I almost ruined months of hard work! He was mine and your skank ass ruined it!"

My fist came up but before it could connect with her face, arms wrapped around my stomach and pulled me up and away. I saw Kozik guide Ava away from me and instantly knew who's arms were around me. "Let me go Happy!"

"Not until you calm down." his rough voice came from behind me.

I struggled and tried to push his arms away. "I cannot believe you would protect her, you should know the rules. I don't care if I wasn't officially your old lady, I loved you!" I shouted

"Mama?" Stella called out to me

Her voice soothed me and I calmed down. I looked over to see my daughter hanging onto Jax's hand looking worried. I realized that everyone seemed to be looking at us with mixed emotions. I just told everyone that me and Happy had something going on. I cleared my throat and when Happy realized that I had calmed down he set me down but his hands didn't leave me. Instead he placed them on my hips and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "This was why I needed to talk to you."

As everyone realized that I had calmed down and there was nothing else to see, everyone went back to the party. "Then let's talk."

I walked over to Stella and picked her up. "Sorry baby I have to go talk to someone quickly. Can you stay with Uncle Jax just a little longer?"

She played with my hair and nodded her head. She still looked a little sad and worried so I surprised her by grabbing her and swinging her down to ground while I blew a raspberry on her tummy. She squirmed and giggled before I let her go. "You gonna be okay?" Jax asked

I looked back to Happy and nodded my head. "Just watch her Jax, nothing bad can happen to her."

He nodded his head and I walked away with Happy into the club house, past all the people inside and to his dorm room. He barely had time to lock the door before I jabbed him in the chest. "How dare you bring that whore here! I may not be your old lady but have enough respect for me not to bring your goddamn toy back with you!" I shouted at him

I could see the internal battle that was going on with him. He was doing everything in his power not to lose it. He grabbed my hand to stop it from hitting him and pulled me to him. I struggled in his arms, this was not where I wanted to be. I wanted to yell at him, I wanted to hit him and hurt him like he hurt me. "I told you once and I'm only going to tell you one more time. She is nothing to me, she is Kozik's new thing. Savannah I didn't cheat on you, she answered my phone when I wasn't paying attention."

"Then why was she there when you were having a shower." I accused still not wanting to forgive him just yet

"I was at Kozik's place, there was an incident at the club house with the water. I didn't think she would answer my phone. She. Is. Nothing. To. Me. Ask Kozik if you don't believe me."

My lip trembled and my mind raced. That would be why she had no idea what I was talking about. But, that was only one of the problems. I shoved away from him, "That only forgives you for that what about all my ignored phone calls hmm? There is no excuse for that and don't you dare tell me that it's because you have never done this."

I glared at him with my arm crossed in front of my chest. "Your right I don't have a reason for that or at least not a good one. I didn't know what to do after what happened. Between that and the club I couldn't get time to try and call you back. Shitty I know but it's the truth."

"What am I to you Hap? One second you tell me I'm your old lady but want to keep it between us. Then you ignore me as if I am nothing to you."

He stepped forward to me again and placed his hands on my waist. "I know I'm screwing this up and to be honest I didn't want to believe that I loved you this much. When we stood in your room and you showed me your daughter and how you almost walked back down that path again...I realized why you were so angry with me. I want to protect you and your daughter with my life. I don't want to be separated from you, if you will just give me that chance? There will be ups and downs with us until I figure out how to act."

"Did you just tell me that you love me?" I asked

His eyes wandered around uncomfortably but before he could say anything I spoke up again "To say it is one thing Happy but to show me it is a whole other thing."

I pushed his hands away from me and unlocked his door walking out. I was surprised when he didn't stop me but, I needed to leave before I forgave him to easily. I walked out the door that lead outside and started to look for my daughter. I saw her with Jax, Tara, Gemma and Clay along with some other members. Everyone started to cheer as Bobby got out of Stahls vehicle. Stella saw me and her eyes lit up but, before I could take another step someone's hand wrapped around my arm pulling me back into them. Before I had the chance to react a pair of lips landed on mine and I knew exactly who it was. Here Happy was kissing me in front of everyone. The man who wanted to keep us a secret. The exact same man who hated the idea of even touching while we were in front of people. I felt like my world was spinning beneath me and my knees buckled. Happy's arm encircled my waist and pulled me into him while his other hand was placed in my hair keeping me there. He barely pulled away from my lips just enough that he could whisper loud enough for me to hear. "I love you, don't leave."

My hands rested on his shoulders and it was as if no one else but us existed. It wasn't until I heard Clay clear his throat and some cat calling whistles. "I love you to."

I kissed him once more before I separated from him. Once I realized that we had the attention of a lot of people, I blushed hard. Me and Happy walked over to my daughter and I picked her up and into my arms. "Mama why were you kissing that man?" Stella asked as she looked at Happy shyly

"So you a thing now?" Jax asked with raised eyebrows.

I looked between everybody before looking at Happy. It seems everyone was looking at me expectantly. "Yeah."

What else was I supposed to say. Jax looked over to Happy, "You know the rules I shouldn't have to say it."

Happy nodded his head but his eyes were locked with Clay. Gemma seemed to be relieved that we finally came out but Clay seemed to be angry. Clay was the first to break their staring contest when Tig yelled for him. Clay groaned but went to where Tig was but not before he ran into Happy shoulder. Gemma followed after Clay and placed her hand on my shoulder before leaving, "Proud of you baby."

I smiled at her and looked at Stella in my arms. "Baby, I didn't get to introduce you before. This is Happy, he and mommy are really good friends. You will see him around a bit is that okay."

She pushed her lips in an extremely cute way and looked at Happy before her face broke into a cute smile. She leaned over me and grabbed Happy face in her hand before she kissed him on the lips and giggled. "Okay."

Happy looked so shocked I couldn't help but laugh at his expression. Stella started to yawn "Is someone tired."

"No." Stella tried to lie while she rubbed at her eyes

"Come on baby lets go home."

She pouted but didn't put up a fight. I looked at Happy, "Can you follow me back home?"

He nodded his head and headed back into the clubhouse to grab his stuff. All that was left was Jax and I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you for watching her tonight."  
He ruffled Stella's hair and smiled at me. "Of course she is my niece and your my sister I will always watch out for you. Be careful with Happy though. I'm happy you found someone especially because its someone we all can take comfort in knowing that we can trust. But, being a fellow brother I know what some members of capable of so just be careful."

I smiled at his concern and my heart filled with the love that I felt. "Goodnight Jax."

He walked by me and we started to walk away. I passed the group and was crossing the lot to get to the my car that was parked on the other side of the lot when a bright flash blinded me. I raised my head and raised my hand against the light while Stella turned in my arms. A car had pulled into the lot and stopped right in front of me and four men came out of the car and walked towards me. It wasn't long before Clay and Tig joined either side of me pushing me behind them. "Garage is closed." Clay said with force

"Were not her for car repairs. I understand you're a Camacho fan." One of the men that seemed to be the ring leader said while passing him a box of cigars

Clay didn't grab them and soon Chibs, Jax and Happy stood near us. Happy pulling me to him so he would feel better. I glared at the men knowing that there was something else going on that was bound to be about the club. I held Stella's head in my hand and placed it on my shoulder so she would be away from their prying eyes. "Who are you?" Clay asked

"Just dropping by to give you a little friendly advice." A gentlemen with a tattoo on his throat beside the leader said.

I had to surprese a chill when I saw him, something just wasn't right. "And what advice would that be?" Clay asked

"We feel it would be best for all concerned," the leader said while looking around at the group before his eyes fell on me and something behind me. I turned to see that Gemma and Tara both seemed to have made their way out of the crowd and stood there just as confused as everyone else, "if you stopped dealing arms to the One-Niners and the Mayans."

He said it so seriously that I narrowed my eyes further at them. Who did this guy think he was dealing with? The club member thought it was funny so you could hear snickers and laughs all around. "I don't even know what you're talking about. We're just mechanics and Harley lovers." Clay said back obviously playing the dumb card, we didn't know who these guys were

"That's one of Darby's guys back there." Tig whispered

"Mr. Darby is one of our supporters." the leader explained

Everyone seemed to tense at this, this guy came to play. I looked over to Happy to see his eyes getting darker by the second as he stared down the group. Clay hummed as he started to walk around the leader checking him out, "Expensive car, hell of a suit, all your teeth. Must be the top of the Aryan food chain huh?" Clay started to lay out a conclusion, trying to get a feel for the guy

"What you do for a living is between you and your maker. I'm not here to adjust your moral compass, this is just a reality check. You're a criminal and your done selling guns to color." the leader replied and Tig cocked his gun ready for a fight, while the leader held his arms out to control his men, "Are you gonna shoot me Mr. Trager? With all these witnesses?"

Nobody said anything. In a way he was right to shoot someone here wouldn't be a good idea but he was threatening the family and no one was going to take that lying down. "Look uh, I don't know what Darby told ya and uh I don't know what your angle is but, let me be real clear. Nobody threatens SAMCRO and nobody tells us what we can and can't do. Black, brown or white. So why don't you just climb back into your little German clown car and drive back to Nazi town? Cuz' the next time you piss all over my shoes he will kill you. And I don't give a shit how many witnesses there are." Clay said threateningly

The air was growing tenser by the minute and all I wanted to do was get my daughter out of here. But, I was scared that if I moved there would be serious repercussions. The guys tongue ran over his teeth before he answered, "My shop opens in a few weeks until then," the leader said rather calmly and bent down to place the cigars at Clays feet, "Enjoy."

The one guy that had the tattoo on his throat stood in his spot for a second longer than the rest his eyes staying locked on mine. I felt Happy's grip tighten and the man walked away but, not before running into Gemma. The man had passed clay his business card before he left and Clay stared at it, "I wanna know everything." Clay said passing the card to Juice

"Got it." Juice said before taking off

Clay looked back at me and watched as Gemma walked over. "Hap take her home and stay there until one of us gets back."

Hap didn't need to be told twice as he guided me to my car. I looked over my shoulder at everyone as I walked. I had a horrible gut feeling, something bad was going to happen and there was nothing we could do.

* * *

 **I would like to thank;**

 **decadenceofmysoul: thank you I am glad that you are enjoying it so far**

 **Storylover00: Thanks here is the next update a little more to it this time hope I didn't disappoint**

 **MiaReina: I hope you are not disappointed. She didn't end up giving it to her but she got close enough and made Happy work for it**

 **Legolas' Girl 31: Thank you for your continued reviews**

 **Emmetluver2010: Right now only if she landed it? It's okay we all know she eventually will as all Morrow's have a bad temper**

 **Guest (Sept.23): But why? That's the fun part to cliff hangers**

 **Guest (Oct.2): I'm not really good at third person writing. So I am glad that you are enjoying my style of writing and the story so far**

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	20. Court Is In Session

**{Hey guys I apologize for the long wait. I kind of went off here for a bit I wasn't getting to many responses in my email to anything so it was a bit disappointing along with a bit of writers block. Sorry guys once more but I am back. I also did put the court in here never really experienced court sessions like this so I kind of made it up as I went. I have two stories on a trial run, a Steve Rogers (Captain America)/OC, a Daryl Dixon (Walking dead)/OC. If I don't feel like it's going anywhere by the fifth or sixth chapter I will discontinue it. Same applies to any others anybody wants me to take on. I do not own anything from Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything else that you do not recognize.** }

By the time I had reached the house Stella was passed out in her car seat. I stepped out of my side and started to walk over to her just as Happy pulled in behind us. I reached in and unbuckled Stella and I could hear the crunch of Happy feet as he came up behind me. He placed a hand on my back and whispered, "Here let me carry her in. You just grab the door."

I smiled at him and did as he said. My body was becoming tired from the nights stress and I just wanted to curl up with my family and go to sleep. Family...that wasn't something I honestly thought I would say. I watched as Happy cradled Stella in his arms with a firm grip as he closed my car door and walked into the house. He walked straight to my room and gently laid her on the bed. I placed my car keys on my dresser as I watched him. A new side of Happy that only I would be privy to see. I kicked off my heels and walked over to the bed. I grabbed the blanket that was folded at the end of the bed and pulled it around Stella. I tucked it into her sides and leaned forward placing a light kiss to her forehead. Stella eyes were barely open and I could tell she was trying to fight off the sleep that was trying to take her. "Mommy?"

"Yes baby?"

"I love you."

I smiled "Forever and always." I replied as my hand slipped over her face to guide her eyelids down

She didn't fight it and I sat watching her for a minute. I kept replaying the events of tonight my fear replaying over and over and soon my anger started to bubble to the surface. I stood up from the bed and pushed past a quiet Happy and stormed my way into the kitchen. I took some rum from the liquor cabinet and a shot glass pouring myself an ample amount and shot it back. I made a face at the slight sting as it went down my throat. "Hitting it pretty hard?" Happy voice came from behind me

I glared at him over my shoulder and pulled out my cigarettes and sat at the table. It wasn't until I inhaled a long drag that I answered him, "I don't like it Happy does that shit happen all the time? People showing up at the club to threaten plain as day like that?"

He pushed off the frame he was leaning on and sat at the table beside me. He pulled my chair towards him so my knees were in between his and he took my free hand in his. "It doesn't, not like that. I don't like it anymore than you do," his eyes trailed away from mine to look down the hall at my room, "I promise I will protect both of you with everything I got."

A frown pulled at my lips and I tried not to sound bitter, "How? You are always leaving your not tied to us here. It's not like we live together and if Clay's face said anything tonight it was that you can't stay here with us."

"You're damn right." A deep voice echoed at the door

I hadn't heard the door open but there stood Clay and Gemma. Happy heaved a deep sigh and sat back in the chair but he did not move his body or hands from me. I flicked my ash into the ashtray and took another drag, "Yeah well what are you going to do about it?" I snapped at him

He gave me a look that told me to challenge him but he walked over to the rum that was still on the counter and back to the table where he took a seat with Gemma. He had yet to answer me and I was becoming increasingly pissed off. "Clay someone just walked up to you and told you how to run your business. He didn't just tell you he threatened you and your family what. are. you. going. to. do?" I hissed and leaned into the table

His eyes turned sharp towards me before he pointed a finger at me, "What did I tell you about my business-"he started to lecture me

I stood up abruptly and slammed my hands into the table. "And what about my daughter, you're granddaughter! Tomorrow is the court date and what am I supposed to do if she says anything about what happened? Huh? What happens if god forbid something happens to her! You don't care do you? You care about your club and nothing else!"

"Watch you tone." He spat back at me

I could feel Happy stand to stand beside me and he tried to pull me from the room. "If anything happens to Stella I will do everything to tear you down from the pedestal you put yourself on."

Happy pushed me from the room towards my room as I continued to fight with him. I knew things were getting heated but between what happened with Donna and now this I couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore. Happy pushed me into my room and closed the door to attempt to diffuse the situation. His plan worked because Clay did not follow to argue. Happy kept pushing me towards the bed and made me sit down. "Hey…hey calm down. Listen to me, I'm going to fix this but you can't go provoking your dad. You will get your daughter back."

Tears had started to spring to my face and he grabbed my face in his hands and pushed my tears away. "But what if—"

"No, there is no what if. You will get her back."

I bit my trembling lip and tried to focus on him. On his near black eyes, the way he was watching me…his lips. Before I knew it my lips met his in a passionate kiss and I didn't want to pull away. "Stay with me." I whispered against his lips

After a moment he nodded his head and kissed my forehead. I looked back at Stella, "I just got to hop into the shower, just get comfortable I won't be long."

I stood up and walked away from him and into the bathroom. My fan wasn't working so I left the door open a little to get rid of the steam. I stripped off the cloths I had and after making sure the temperature was where I wanted it I stepped in. I enjoyed the hot water as it hit my skin and my muscles released their tension. It wasn't until I felt his arms around my waist did I realize that Happy had joined me. "Stella." I tried to argue

"She is sleeping. Besides I'm not doing anything just a shower." He argued back

I relaxed into his embrace and sighed in content. He placed a kiss to my neck before placing his head on my shoulder and I didn't need to tell him how nice this felt. How safe I felt in his arms. I missed this and needed it all at once.

~~SOA~~

I had dropped Stella off with her aunt and went home to get ready. I slipped on a pair of nice grey pinstriped dress pants with a long sleeve black shirt with a round neckline. I put a small belt with the pants and pair of pointed black stiletto heels. I left my hair straight and down and I stared at myself in the mirror. This was the most professional thing I could find in my closet. It was a long way from what I wore the last time I went to court for Stella and that was a good thing. My heart was beating so fast as I thought of the possibility of taking my baby girl home. I looked up as Gemma walked into the room. "You ready baby?"

"As I will ever be." I replied with a sigh

She walked towards me and pulled my hair forward to rest on my chest. "I was thinking that when this is all over…when we come home with her, we have a family super. Make up for the way it ended last night."

I smiled at her, everyone seemed to have high hopes that this was going to work. I just smiled and nodded my head. Gemma, Jax, Tara and Happy were coming to my court with me for support. Without them my nerves for sure would have been so much higher. Gemma grasped my hand in hers, "Let's go get her baby."

~~SOA~~

I stood outside the doors waiting for my lawyer to come and get me. We had been in session for almost an hour and now it was down to my testimony and my daughters. I was asked to step out so that I would not influence my daughter's answers. Though I was hesitant at first, I at this moment just wanted this to be over. I just wanted Stella in my arms so I would never let her go again. "We are ready for you now." My lawyer said as she held the door open for me

I pressed my hands against my stomach and smoothed out any wrinkles I had. I followed her back into the court room and was escorted to the stand. They placed a bible before me and I was asked, "Do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you god under pains and penalties of perjury?"

"I do." I answered as clear as I could

With a nod of his head, he removed the bible and walked away from me. First up was the prosecution;

"Please sate your name for the record."

"Savannah Morrow."

"And how are you related to one Stella James?"

"I am her birth mother."

I placed my hands and started to play with fingers. I knew the questions were just going to get harder, "Are you employed at this point in time?"

"Yes, with Teller-Morrow mechanic shop."

"For how long?"

"Only a few months."

"You also live with your parents?"

"My father and his wife, yes."

"Where were you before? What were you doing?"

"Objection your honor, this has been brought up previously in court it has no relevance." My lawyer stood up in argument

"Sustain, try to keep your questions pertaining to current and future." The judge agreed with my lawyer

"What is your plan for when or if you get your daughter?"

"I don't plan to leave my family business but I do plan on finding my own home that I can share with my daughter."

"How have you changed since your last appearance here in court?"

"I got a job, a stable environment. I have worked on myself as a person including being clean for eight months."

"Do you have any evidence of this change?"

"We do. Your honor we have tests that were done two days ago. Paperwork stating her employment, housing. This should be enough along with all the testimonies you have heard today." My lawyer said passing along paper after paper

"I have someone who would state otherwise that you were in a holding cell not too long ago."

"Objection your honor. We have evidence that states that that was a complete misunderstanding and was cleared up." My lawyer once again rejected passing another paper along

Once he looked over the paper he ruled, "Sustain."

"I have no further questions your honor." The prosecution said

My lawyer stood up and I visually relaxed knowing she would not say anything to take her away from me. "Savannah, can you explain to us what it was like to hold your daughter for the first time a few months ago. After being separated for so long."

I remembered the day I saw her when Stahl took me in with Opie and his wife. "Relief. To know that she was safe and being looked after. But, it hurt to know that it was not me giving her that. I saw the hurt on her face and fear when she had to leave. I wanted nothing than to show her the world as I never got to. To show her how I had changed for her, the love that I wanted to give her," My eyes met with my family who sat behind everyone, "I'm not going to lie I was not the best mother to start. It did not mean that I did not love her any less. I let my daughter down and now all I am asking for is a chance to prove to her that I'm not some dead beat mother who could care less. But, instead a mother who can nurture her and love her, watch her grow and give her everything this world has to offer."

My lawyer smiled at me and nodded at the judge, "I think that answer says it all, that is all your honor."

"Thank you Miss Morrow, you may re take your seat."

I walked down to the table that was in front of the seats and took my seat. The judge left to decide on whether or not I would have my child. I thought I had been nervous this morning but, I was so wrong. My hands were clammy and my heart was racing. I was trembling and I bit my lip in an effort to stop the hysterics that were threatening to break free. My breathing stopped as I watched the judge walk back in. As he sat down the rest of us stood standing waiting for his verdict. His eyes wandered from me to the people behind us. "I have reviewed the testimonies and through deep consideration…" he started to say

I felt that in that moment my heart completely stopped, that the world had stopped moving completely. I closed my eyes and counted

1…

2…

3…

"You may take your daughter into your custody permanently Miss Morrow."

My eyes shot open in disbelief. I finally had my daughter. Fresh tears sprung to my eyes and goose bumps caressed my arm.

* * *

 **I would like to start off by thanking;**

 **txkatmoreno85- thank you here is the next update**

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 **nelle76- here is the update it had been a while since I had a review I thought people forgot about it to be honest**

 **bravesfan152001- awe! I didn't mean to make you cry but at the same time at least I'm doing my job here is the next update. She does get to keep her daughter I felt it would be mean to take her away and though it is a good that they are not a secret but now I have other things in mind.**

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	21. All Over Again

**{Hey guys so I'm here with a rather quick update before the chapters start to get long again. I do want to warn you that this is a rated M story and for a reason. I do not condone this type of behavior and I find it hard to write much into rape even when it's apart of a show or movie. I also did want to take a different approach to this scene because out of all the stories I have read that include this scene the OC is a part of Gemma's experience or Tara's and I wanted to do something else. I have two stories on a trial run, a Steve Rogers (Captain America)/OC, a Daryl Dixon (Walking dead)/OC. If I don't feel like it's going anywhere by the fifth or sixth chapter I will discontinue it. Same applies to any others anybody wants me to take on. I do not own anything from Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything else that you do not recognize.}**

 _(Gemma p.o.v.)_

 _I was on my way home from the garage, my thoughts wandering to my new granddaughter and everything that needed to be done before she moved in with us in two weeks. I had to smile when I remembered Savannah face as she was told that she could take Stella home for good. She was actually so excited that not only could you see it on her face but I caught her this morning going through the local real estate. The other thought that crossed my mind was how close it seemed Tara was getting to my son, the same woman that broke his heart but yet he was willing to fully invite her back into our lives. I wasn't about to tell her or anyone really but, she was starting to grow on me again. I stopped at a four way and just as I was getting ready to press the gas pedal again when a van pulled up behind me and a blonde woman came running out screaming for help. My guard instantly went up and I reached into my handbag that was on the passenger seat, grabbing the gun I had tucked away. "Help please! My baby swallowed something, he's chocking! Please help me!" The woman screamed as she ran to my door._

 _My mother instincts kicked in and I dropped the gun back into place. "Alright," I said while getting out of my car and walking back to her car where the back door was open, "What did he swallow?"_

 _"A bottle cap or something." She answered_

 _I leaned into the van and pulled the blanket from the child to see a plastic doll instead of an actual baby. My senses went on high alert, "What the fu—"I started to swear as I tried to turn to face the blonde girl_

 _I barely turned around when something hit me hard in the back of the head. I didn't have time to even react before everything went black_

 _(End of Gemma p.o.v.)_

I had spent every day almost with Stella, getting her ready for the move and once more it was time to say goodnight. I sat on the edge of her bed and tucked in her sides like always. She giggled and I placed a hand on her face while pushing hair out of her face. "Okay baby, I got to go but, you be good for your aunt and I will see you in a couple days."

She pouted and sniffled, "You're not going to come see me tomorrow?"

I shook my head with a sad smile, "I know Stella if I could stay here all day with you I would but, I got to get back to work. I got to get everything ready for you to come home with me right?"

"When?"

"Just a couple more days and me and Happy are going to come and get you."

"What about Auntie?"

"Don't worry we will come back and visit."

I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Love you." I whispered as I pulled away

"Always and forever." Stella beamed at me

I smiled at her once more before I left her room and started to collect my things. "You almost ready for her?" Valerie asked

"Just a few more things to settle and then yes. We won't be at Clay's for very long, I've been looking into getting my own place." I told her as I swung my purse over my shoulder and grabbed my jacket and placed it on my arm

"Clay?" Valerie asked as she crossed her arms

I rolled my eyes, "You know what I mean Val my father."

I walked to the front door and she followed me, "You guys haven't bonded yet?"

I thought back to Donna and the threats and fights we have gotten into and I shook my head. "That's not it, don't get me wrong Val he is my father and someone who helped me get and stay clean but, my life has been a little too busy to be focusing on bonding right now." I partially lied

"What about the man that Stella keeps talking about, Happy?"

I pulled open the front door and turned to face her. "We are together yes but, no it will not affect Stella. I have all my interests in my daughter and that will not change. Happy is just as protective of her as I am."

Valerie seemed to be deep in thought and I knew I couldn't be mad at her, she was just worried for Stella safety. I stepped forward and pulled Valerie in for a hug, "Don't worry Val I promise nothing bad will happen to her. It's my turn to take care of my own daughter, you go on a vacation or something."

She laughed into my shoulder before pulling away. "Be careful going home."

I nodded my head and left to go to my car. It was only twenty minutes before I got home and I sent Valerie a text letting her know I got here okay. I looked around not seeing Clay or Happy's bike or Gemma caddie for that matter. I pulled out my phone and started to dial for Gemma wondering where she was, I knew she should've been home by now. I unlocked the door and held the phone up to my ear. When she didn't answer I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked down to it as I started to type a message from her. I kicked open my door and dropped my bag. I gasped as a pair of hands grabbed my shoulders pulling me back into them. I struggled against them, I knew this wasn't Happy, no something wasn't right. I clawed at whoever it was hoping that they would be let go but, instead a cloth was placed over my face and I inhaled without thinking about it. My struggling got harder and harder until my body gave up followed quickly by my consciousness.

~~SOA~~

My eyes fluttered open to see darkness and I hissed as pain shot through my head. I moved my hands to touch my head when I realized I couldn't do that freely, my hands were bound in front of me. It was then that I remembered what had happened and that I was in a small dark place, I was in a trunk. "Help!" I screamed as I kicked at the trunk door

Tears sprung to my eyes and my heart started to race. I started to internally panic when I heard shoes crunching against gravel. I whipped my eyes against my shirt and as the door opened I glared at my captor who had a mask on his face. He chuckled before grabbing my hands and roughly tugging me out of the trunk. I struggled to stand up "Let me go! Do you even know who you're fucking with?" I screamed at the man

My eyes wandered around us and I saw a couple cars including Gemmas caddie parked in front of what looked to be a warehouse. "Where is Gemma? What did you do to her?" I asked once more

The man continued to ignore and pull me along to the door. My heart went into overdrive and I did all I could think of to run. I started to pull on my binds ignoring the pain that shot through them. The man growled and stopped walking to face me, I kicked him as hard as I could where the sun don't shine. He gasped in pain and pulled me closer to him. I leaned forward and bit him as hard as I could on his shoulder, not stopping when copper taste of blood slipped between my lips. The man hit me hard in the head before shoving me away. My feet stumbled and I fell on the ground a few feet from him. As he was freaking out over the attack, I pushed myself up onto my feet and started to run. The only thought crossing my mind that if I could just make it to another person I could get help. As I started to run I realized how far away we were from civilization. I knew in my heart I wasn't going to make it but, that didn't mean I was going to give up. I pushed forward and started to scream, "Somebody! Anybody! Please help me!"

A body collided with my back and shoved me to the ground where the gravel scratched my face. "Stupid bitch." The man growled out at me

I kept kicking and throwing my arms at him but, to no avail. He got annoyed and threw a punch at me and hit me on the left side of my face. I blinked my eyes a couple times and groaned. The man grabbed my body and threw me over his shoulder and started to work his way back to the door. "Let me go! Please I have done nothing to you!" I panicked

All he did was chuckle and open the door. I got mad and started to swing everything I possibly could while screaming in frustration. He walked past three more hooded men and walked into another room the men following behind. "You fucked all of you! You're dead!" I shouted

My body was slammed hard onto concrete ground and gasped as the air was knocked out of me. My back arched in pain and I tried to roll away from them. "Cut her hands free." One of the other men ordered

"But—"the man from earlier tried to argue

"We won't be able to inject her with it if she is bound together idiot." The same man said sternly

My eyes shot wide open and I looked up at them alarmed, "Inject me with what?" I asked

They didn't answer and instead the man from earlier straddled my hips and pinned me down. He slipped a knife in between my binds and cut it. Before I could react two other men grabbed my wrists and pinned them to the ground. My eyes dashed widely around the room before landing on who I supposed was the leader who stood there with a strap and a needle that he was tapping. My eyes widened when I realized what was happening, "No, no, no please! You don't understand I have a daughter please, please I will do anything."

My pleas fell on deaf ears as he kneeled down and wrapped the strap around my upper arm tight. I tried hard to pull my arm from the men who had it held down, "D-don't" my voice cracked as tears fell down my cheeks

He snapped his finger off my veins before he pushed it in. I gasped and the tears came faster. What sounded like a chain link being rattled drew the attention of the men. The leader pushed the liquid into my veins and stood up. "Looks like she is awake let's go boys. She won't be able to do much." He ordered as he removed the strap

As they got off I rolled to the side and gasped as I felt the familiar sensation take over my body. A chocked cry escaped my lips as I crawled away and to a corner where I leaned against the wall. My eyes fluttered and I saw Gemma hanging from a chain link fence and was fighting against the same men I was earlier but, they were stripping her of her clothes. "Gemma." My voice cracked barely audible before I let my body succumb to the drug

 _(Gemma p.o.v)_

 _My head was pounding as I opened my eyes to find the source of the crying that had woke me. My eyes scanned the dark room that I was in to realize that I was suspended in the air my hands above my head. The crying was coming from Savannah who was pinned to the floor by four men doing god knows what. I tried to pull my hands down and get free but it was no use. The men hearing me stood up away from Savannah and it was then that I realized what they did, one of them was holding a needle and a strap. They walked towards me and one of the men came closer to me. "What do you want? Do you know who I am? You know what I can do to you? Take off the mask you god damn piece of shit!" I swore at the man_

 _I spat at the man in front of me and I got a punch for it. My body stiffened and before I could react my shirt was ripped open and my pants had begun to be removed. I was going to be raped and in front of my daughter who was probably overdosing in the corner. I had never felt so vulnerable and alone than I had in this moment._

* * *

 **I would like to start by thanking;**

 **Emmettluver2010- Yes she is I thought it would be mean to take her away**

 **decadenceofmysoul- Thank you! Of course she does couldn't be that mean**

 **mintgoflimzy- Thank you I'm sorry about some of the long waits I try.**

 **Legolas' Girl 31- Thank you for your continued reviews I'm glad that you like it to**

 **bravesfan152001-I'm glad you are happy here is the next chapter**

 **nelle76- Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter and it didn't end to bad for you**

 **MissDavis92- Not to give a spoiler alert but there will be a few moments with her and Tig and eventually we all know this will blow up in Clay face and she will play a huge part. Unfortunately the part with Clay isn't for a few seasons but I can promise it will never go away**

 **I also would like to thank anyone who has favorite since the last update;**

 **TRUEBLOOD12, Arsynn, demonicseer, docsangel, Bandgeek211, KatiiMarii, queen6404, EMRO, Desert RockandRoller, MissDavis92, Kaasayxo**

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	22. Secrets

**{Hello everyone! Here is the next update and as requested things are gonna get complicated with her and Tig.** **I have two stories on a trial run, a Steve Rogers (Captain America)/OC, a Daryl Dixon (Walking dead)/OC. If I don't feel like it's going anywhere by the fifth or sixth chapter I will discontinue it. Same applies to any others anybody wants me to take on. I do not own anything from Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything else that you do not recognize.}**

My mouth was dry and my body ached but, warmth had enveloped my body. It was dark and I couldn't see a thing but I knew I was pressed up against someone. "Gemma?" a voice broke through the silence

The body I was pressed against shook and I pulled away to see Gemma's startled eyes and battered face looking everywhere before landing on me. That's when the night's activities came rushing back and tears sprung to my eyes. I looked over Gemma to see her bare shoulders and I figured she was naked underneath. Someone had raped her and drugged me and I began to panic. I looked down at myself to see that I was still clothed but, that didn't mean that anything was okay. I was already aching with the need for another hit and what scared me the most was I just got my daughter back and it seemed that I was going to lose her if I didn't find a way to hid this. "Gemma!" the same male voice barked

The voice was familiar and calming and Gemma answered back "W-Wayne, Wayne." Gemma called out the best she could

Gemma tucked me into her arms and as Unser shot at the door she mumbled how sorry she was. A gasp escaped my lips and the tears came faster. My heart was breaking and my world was spinning out of control. I could feel Gemma's tears hitting me and as Unser came into the room her sobs were as loud as mine. "Oh my god." Unser's voice was barely above a whisper

"G-Get us out of here." Gemma pleaded

I didn't want to move, I wanted to curl up and die. I had gotten my family back, I had finally got the love I was looking for and earned the trust of everyone close to me and I was about to lose everything. Unser walked towards us and I pulled away from Gemma as he helped her into the clothes he could before bringing us to his police car. I pulled my legs into my chest and leaned against the door as I sat watching the streets go by. Everyone was quiet at first no one wanting to say anything and the awkwardness was heavy in the air of the car. "How did you know we were there?" Gemma asked

"I uh heard it on the radio, recognized the description of the car." Unser answered

"Anonymous tip?" Gemma guessed

"Yeah." Unser nodded

I scoffed in the back seat but never let my eyes leave the passing scenes outside the car, not even when I felt their eyes on me. "You guys got to tell me something here?" Unser pleaded

"Isn't it fucking obvious what happened, they weren't stupid enough to tell us who they were." I swore

I had a feeling about who it was after all it wasn't a coincidence that the threat from those men a few nights and now look at the wife and daughter of the president. I knew that Gemma knew this to and that she wouldn't tell Unser, this was the clubs business and the clubs business only. Gemma shuffled in her seat before asking, "Where are you going?"

"St. Thomas." Unser answered as if it was obvious

"No." Gemma said with no room for argument

"We got to get you to the hospital." Unser objected

My eyes left the scenery to Gemma, we both knew what would happen if we went to the hospital, to many questions for answers we didn't want to give. "No hospital, they injected Savannah she will lose Stella if they run her blood."

Gemma groaned in pain, "So what am I supposed to do here Gemma?" Unser asked

Gemma pursed her lips and looked the other way before she faced him again, "Give me your cell."

Gemma dialed a number before placing it to her ear, "Hey where are you…can you meet me at your house…don't tell Jax either just meet me there and bring you medical kit."

With that Gemma hung up and passed the phone back to Unser who was watching her expectantly, "Go to Tara's." Gemma told him and sunk further into her seat

As we pulled up to Tara's I barely made it a few steps towards the door before my heart beat increased and I leaned over and puked. My body began to shake and I stumbled towards the steps where I leaned against the wall. Unser helped Gemma inside and Tara came out to me. She didn't say anything just offered me her hand and guided me inside the house. Tara went into her kitchen and came back with some gravol and a mixing bowl. "I'm going to help Gemma into some better clothes, stay here with Savannah. Try and get her out of this sweater she is overheating." Tara instructed

After some struggle and help from Unser I managed to get rid of the sweater he had given me earlier. Tara came back with Gemma in sweat pants and a robe and sat her down on the couch. Tara attempted to clean Gemma up first but, she swatted Tara away and told her to help me first. I knew I couldn't have looked as bad as her but, before I could dispute it another wave of nausea came over and I buried my head into the bowl. Tara waited patiently before she began to clean my cheek that had come in contact with the road and then placed a bandage over it. She then reached into her kit and pulled out an ice pack and after cracking it passed it along to me. "You are going to want to place that on her eye and top of your forehead, you have a nasty bruise forming on both spots."

I nodded my head and leaned back in the chair I was in. Tara then turned her attention to Gemma and began to dab at her wounds as well. "Jax see you leave?" Gemma asked

"I told him it was the hospital. You need to tell me what happened so that I can help you both."

"Use your imagination." Was all Gemma said

Tara stopped helping her and looked at us both alarmed. I shook my head, "That just happened to her, they put crank in my system again, roughed me up a little. Nothing like what she went through." I whispered as a few tears ran down my cheeks

"Maybe we should let them rest for a while?" Unser offered when Tara had opened her mouth but no words came out

"We have to get them to the hospital." Tara replied

"No." Gemma interrupted

"I can't treat either of you in my living room." Tara said as if it should have been obvious

"Look I'd have to check in, the insurance and shit. Everybody'll know about what happened, not just to me but her, the courts will figure it out and take Stella away."

Tara and Unser paused uneasy before Tara spoke up with a plan, "We'll go home get you some clothes then pick up Abel. We'll sign him in, we'll say we're running more tests."

"You could get fired for that." Gemma stated

"I'll figure it out." Tara answered back

Tara began to pack up her med kit and Gemma licked at her dry lips. "Promise me you won't tell anyone." Gemma began

"Gemma-"Tara began to protest

"Promise me."

"We got to tell Clay." Unser objected

"Not Clay, not Jax, not Happy no one." Gemma answered

Tara pursed her lips before looking to Unser. I knew in my heart I wanted to tell Happy but at the risk of losing everything I had worked so hard for I knew I wouldn't tell anyone. "Alright." Unser said after a moment with a frustrated sigh

Gemma's sharp gaze turned to Tara who continued to pack her things, "I won't say anything." She spoke up

Unser left shortly after and Tara decided we would go in a few hours. I took the opportunity to do something I knew that I shouldn't. I waited for both Tara and Gemma to fall asleep before I snuck out and caught a cab. I needed to get clean, I had two weeks before Stella came home with me. There was only one way for me to get clean and not involve anyone else or lose my daughter. I left a note for Gemma and Tara letting them know that I would be okay but I had to kick the habit without them. I couldn't go to the hospital, anyone would take one look at me and know. I sent a text to Happy letting him know I would be staying with Stella for the remainder of her time with her aunt and I called Valerie to let her know my daily visits would stop and I wouldn't see Stella until I came to pick her up. I told her that I had some things come up at home that I had to take care first. I hated to lie to the people I loved but I had to. I quickly paid for a room on the outskirts of town and I collapsed on my soon to be bed and stared at the ceiling. The need for my next fix was worse than what I remembered from before. I knew I wasn't going to be able to do this on my own. There was only one person who I could get to help me and not worry about anyone getting suspicious or my condition getting back to anyone else.

After a second I pulled out my phone and dialed his number and waited patiently. After a second a grumpy voice came through the phone, "Savannah?"

"Tig I need you to do something for me. I need you to meet me but don't tell anyone where you are going."

I could hear him moving around before his concerned voice came through the phone, "Are you sure you meant to call me? I can get Happy-"

"No!" I cut him off quickly before I cleared my throat, "No, please Tig just come to the address I'm going to text you."

"Okay."

I hung up and quickly texted the address to him along with the room number I was in and hoped he would be here as soon as possible. I sat up on the bed and after a moment of deep breathing I walked towards the bathroom and took a long hot shower. I sat on the bottom of the tub allowing the water to cascade down my body as I curled my legs into my chest. I had my arm placed in front of me and I let my fingers over the bruise that had begun to form. I sighed and threw my head back enjoyed the release I was slowly feeling, I felt like the water was taking all the bad that happened to me and washing it away, almost like it didn't really happen. Once the water began to run to cold for me to handle I stepped out and dressed back into my clothes. I stepped into the room and immediately hated the brightness that came from the window. I sauntered over to the window and closed the curtain before I ripped the blanket from the bed and curled up into it as I sat waiting for Tig.

~~SOA~~

My eyes had stayed trained on the floor as I waited for Tig for a few hours before the knock came to my door. When I didn't answer the door was gently opened and Tig peaked his head in. "Savannah?"

"Come in and shut the door." I mumbled

He did what I asked and stood at the door unsure of what to do. "What I am about to ask you cannot leave this room, you cannot tell Clay or Happy, no one understand?"

"Of course."

I slipped my arm from my blanket and he stepped towards me. I knew that he knew what it was before he saw it. "Did you-"

"Someone forced it into me, don't ask me who because I don't know. I need to get clean in two weeks think you can help me?" I asked as I finally turned to fully face him

His eyes went from my arm to my face and his face instantly went into a hard line. "They really did a number on you. I think we should tell Clay or at least Gemma." Tig tried to convince me as his hand caressed my bruises and cuts.

My eyes narrowed at him, "I said no, listen Tig this is how this is going to work. If word gets out I will lose Stella and everything and everyone I have worked so hard for. You are the only person who can help me get there, I need clothes and food and I am going to need you to be by my side through this. So help me you tell a single person and your and Clay secret will no longer be a secret." I threatened losing my patience

It wasn't that I was truly angry with Tig and I had a feeling that Dona's death was more Clay then him. But, I needed help and I needed reassurance that he wouldn't tell anyone. He was still the one to pull the trigger and was just as much as fault. His jaw dropped, "How?"

I rolled my eyes and turned my body to face him, "I was there, and I saw you."

"It's not like you think, I thought it was Opie."

I rolled my eyes, "Because that makes it any better. I don't care and I don't want to hear it anymore, I need your help will you help me?"

He ran his fingers through his rough curly hair, "Anything for you sugar."

* * *

 **I would like to start by thanking;**

 **bravesfan152001- as we can see it will only be Tig initially who will know and as for Stella it will be a challenge right lol**

 **docsangel- here is your next chapter**

 **decadenceofmysoul- yes poor them that was always one of the most heartbreaking scene of the season**

 **Legolas' Girl31- Gemma will continue to hide like she did in the show but it will be slightly different for Savannah**

 **IRL01- Thank you for your review I enjoyed your reaction**

 **nelle76- Happy reaction will be put off for a little bit but I am so excited for it I already have it planned out**

 **I would also like to thank everyone who has favorite since the last chapter;**

 **arroyo, emmalock93, racegirl17, MarvelsGurl, giannakylie, ChibiSpyStuff, uneksija, Drina Santos**

 **I would also like to thank everyone who has followed since the last chapter;**

 **arroyo, emmalock93, gemmasky, LostSarah, 23, uneksija**

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	23. Fear

**{Hey guys I'm gonna apologize for two things this time. First off I know its short and I feel bad but if I went further I would have been writing an extremely long chapter. After this is when she goes back and trust me the drama will be jam packed and long so just bare with me for a little longer. Second apology is for how long this has taken, between all the real life drama at work and my husband's unexplained seizures I haven't had much time to dedicate to any of my stories but I am trying to get back into the swing of it. I have also added a new story on trial to my current ones it is a Fifty Shades of Grey/Freed/Darker story so check it out if you would like. I have three stories on a trial run, a Steve Rogers (Captain America)/OC, a Daryl Dixon (Walking dead)/OC and a Christian Grey (Fifty Shades of Grey)/OC. If I don't feel like it's going anywhere by the fifth or sixth chapter I will discontinue it. Same applies to any others anybody wants me to take on. I do not own anything from Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything else that you do not recognize.}**

"Worthless."

"You just got your daughter back and you are already messing up."

"Stop fighting it, you know you want to do it again."

These were the same sentences that seemed to be whispered all the time and it was driving me insane! It had been a week since the event and so far Tig had kept his word. No one was the wiser to where I was and he visited me every day with food and helped take care of me when I couldn't. I pushed myself off the bathroom door and began to walk towards my bed when the voices began again saying the same things as before. I stopped in the middle of the floor and held my head in my hands, tangling my fingers in their strands as I pulled. "Shut up!" I screamed as I sunk to the floor

Tears ran down my face as I began to cry and my chest was tight. I felt somebody behind me and I blinked my tears away, "Tig?" I questioned aloud

Someone pressed against my back and a heavy breath was caressing my ears. "There is no point in fighting anymore you know we're just going to pin you down and do it over and over and over again."

The voice was familiar and I pulled roughly away from the person turning to face who it was. My mouth ran dryer than it already was and fear racked my body. In front of me stood three men with masks, the same three men who started it all. My feet pushed against the floor in attempt to push away from them but, unfortunately rooms aren't big and I only ended up backing myself into the far corner of the room. The men continued to stalk towards me and if it was possible it was like they were growing taller and filling the room. I placed my head in my knees and screamed, "Leave me alone I've done nothing to you!"

 _(Tig p.o.v)_

 _I ran my hand roughly through my curls with annoyance. Normally I could do as I please and disappear without question but, I had been doing it so much lately that some questions were being raised. I looked over at the clock that hung in the bar and glared at the time. I would need to check up on Savannah here soon. A hand clapped my back and I looked to see Happy taking the spot beside me and signaling to the prospect to get him a beer "How's it going man?" I mumbled into my drink_

 _"Another day, listen have you heard from Savannah lately, I've been calling her the past couple days can't seem to get through to her."_

 _Guilt ran through me but, I didn't let it show. "I am sure she is just focused on her daughter."_

 _Happy grunted as he took a sip of his beer and as I looked at him I began to imagine Savannah's daughter running around and this man becoming a father figure to him. I knew that they hadn't been together long but for as mad as Clay is that his daughter is with him, I knew that Happy would take care of her. Men like me and him don't do the relationship thing, we fuck em' and leave em' after all there are plenty willing. But on the off chance that we do find someone to care for we wouldn't leave them for the world, we're in it for the long haul. I smiled as I thought about how Happy now has a little girl that is going to run around here and he will have to watch over but, I knew he could do it. "What do you think of Stella?" The words left my lips before I could stop it_

 _"Sweet girl, it will be good for Savannah."_

 _I nodded my head in agreement and I looked to the clock again. Happy noticed the action and commented, "Got somewhere to be?"_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Seems to be a lot of that lately."_

 _I chugged the rest of my drink knowing I had to leave to look after Savannah, "Yeah uh, my daughter is down for a visit." I stuttered out an excuse_

 _"The trouble maker?"_

 _"Yeah, got to make sure she stays out of trouble here or her mother will have my head."_

 _Happy nodded my head and I left the clubhouse not noticing the suspicious look Happy was giving me. I stopped by to pick up some food and ginger ale, remembering how sick she was when I was there last. What I didn't expect as I walked up the hotel door was to hear her screaming for someone to leave her alone. Panicking I quickly shoved the door open and stumbled in gun raised in the air. But, no one was in the room besides her. Savannah looked like a nervous wreck, she was huddled into herself in the corner while quiet sobs filled the room. I shut the door and placed my gun and groceries on the table beside the door. I walked over to her shushing her and pulled her into me. She pulled away sharply from me at first as her eyes were wide with fear, raw fear. Fear that I enjoyed putting into people but seeing in her eyes made me cringe in disgust. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she pounced on me causing me to fall onto my butt. I pulled her crushingly into my chest and cradled her head in my hands._

 _(End of Tig p.o.v)_

We sat there for what felt like hours with me in his arms, my tears staining his shirt. I hadn't realized that we had sat there for so long that we had fallen asleep. It wasn't until I woke up with a stiff body and my eyes fluttered open that I moved from my spot against Tig. I looked down at Tig and after a second I looked away as I stared out the window while running my hands through my knotted hair. I walked forwards grabbing a beer from the mini fridge and my smokes as I walked out the door. I leaned against the wall and as I brought the lighter to the end of my cigarette and lit it. It was sunset and the sun made a brilliant peach and white color against the horizon. It was quiet as the birds sang as they flew over head. There was a feeling of serenity and calm that over came over me. It was in that moment that I knew that I would make it through. I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. I had only taken a couple puffs before I heard the door open and a distraught Tig came barreling out. When he saw me I could see him mentally calm down. I drank some of the beer and went back to the silence I was enjoying.

He didn't say anything just stood beside me and I offered him my beer. "I was on an errand that night...Gemma had sent me to go get beer and food. I wasn't paying attention, maybe if I had I could have seen it coming, I could have tried to stopped you, warn you even. I thought it was you when I watched you drive away but I wasn't sure. It wasn't until I went home that night and confronted Clay that I knew. He threatened me told me he would put me down," I kept my eyes closed as I spoke even when I heard his sharp intake of breath. A tear slipped down my cheeks but I still didn't move, "I get it, in this life we do things we regret, we do things we want to forget. I'm not a saint and neither are you. I am not saying I forgive you for what you did to a brother and an innocent mother and kids. What I am saying is we all do things whether we get caught isn't what matters. What matters is if you regret it and Clay doesn't regret it. So tell me do you?"

I didn't look at him as I stubbed out my smoke. My eyes finally locked with his and I could see the pain in his eyes. I knew he regretted it, I knew it the day after I saw him, and it is eating away at him. Before he could open his mouth to reply my phone started to go off in my back pocket. I slipped it out to see Happy name across the screen. "It's him isn't it? Happy?" Tig asked

I nodded my head and bite my lip, "Why are you ignoring him?" Tig asked shuffling his feet

"I'm not I just don't know what to say. I'm lying to him, I am lying to everyone. I just need to get clean and I will make it better. J-Just a few more days." I mumbled as brushed past him back to my room

I threw my phone on the bed and glared at it as I slumped into the chair that was by the table. Fear...that's what it was...fear of rejection and fear of what was to come.

* * *

 **I would like to start by thanking;**

 **Legolas' Girl 31- Thank you! Here is the next one**

 **bravesfan152001- He will be a big reason that she stays sober through her experience and that is her fear to when it comes to Happy and her family. They will pay I promise and I am excited to write that chapter as I have so many ideas**

 **Emmettluver2010- thank you I'm glad that you enjoyed it**

 **nelle76- right? Who would? But I love Tig I think it ate away at him and that's why he was slowly separated from his stand beside Clay and he needed the chance to redeem himself**

 **I would also like to thank everyone that has favorite since the last update;**

 **dhnysprots88, Mrs. Marie Woods-Winchester, Always1997, xxLiveLoveReadxx, Izzyybub, Stace.R88, jdedmom, devilgurl4, MELYLOOP**

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	24. Guns

**{Hey guys I am finally back here is your new updated chapter with Christmas here I am a little busy but I'm trying to get as many chapters as I can out as quick as I can. I do not own Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything else you do not recognize}**

A lot of things had happened in the time where I had disappeared. A lot of missed phone calls an d texts and if it wasn't for Tig I wouldn't know what was even going on. Chibs was in the hospital at the moment from being blown up and Luann, god bless her soul was found on the side of a highway beaten to death. When Tig told me about Luann I didn't know her well enough yet but I still felt angry at what happened. Someone was targeting us, and I was glad that I didn't have Stella with me at the moment. With everything going on I wanted to go and see everyone the day before I picked up my daughter. I didn't want to bring her home if this was all still going on. So, first stop was Chibs and as my heels clicked across the floor, I became nervous. I didn't know what to get him for get well so I did the only thing I could, I picked up a bottle of rum and a card. I knew the hospital wouldn't let me bring it in if they saw it so, I snuck it in my purse. I knocked on the door and Chibs voice came through the door, "Come in."

I opened the door and peaked in to see just Chibs in his bed with his bandage around his head but at least he still looked happy. "Hey Chibs, what did you do? Get lost in a crow eaters legs?" I laughed as I pushed the door closed

He rolled his eyes at me, but his smile didn't falter, "Ha, ha. Been a while since I seen you lass."

I sat on the edge of the bed, "Yes I've been doing lots of stuff in preparation for Stella, I thought I would come back a day early and make sure everything was okay. I wanted to see you first, I was worried when I was told about your…accident." I told him

He grabbed my hand in his, "Don't worry about me lass just a bump to the head, Tara said I should be out by today or tomorrow."

I snuck my hand in my bag with a mischievous smile and said. "Well I guess I came just in time."

He grabbed the bottle from me as I held it out to him. I could tell by the look on his face that he was happy. "Thank you, just what I needed." He placed it on the table beside him

He opened his arms for a hug, so I leaned forward to give him one. He gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Did you hear about Luann?"

I looked down at the floor as I moved my foot around, "Yeah, its unfortunate no one should die like that. Luanne especially."

He must have seen the worry in my face and he grabbed my hand in his. The warmth was father like and foreign to me. "What is it?"

A tear slipped from my eye, "I'm worried about bringing Stella home with all this going on but, if I don't my aunt will know something is up. She will take Stella from me again."

He gave my hand a tug and I looked at him, "Nah lass everything will be okay. We will take care of you nothing will come to harm you or your little one."

Pain tugged at my heart as I thought about what me and Gemma went through a couple weeks ago. They couldn't protect us then and if he thought they had protect us then Gemma hadn't told anyone about what happened. I sniffled and pushed my anger aside and leaned forward giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you Chibs."

He smiled at me, "Don't worry about it. You need anything you know where I will be."

"Do you know where I could find Gemma?" I asked as I was about to walk out of the room

"I think she was telling me that she was going to the shooting range with Tara." He replied

I nodded my head and left him the whiskey and walked out of the hospital. I hoped into the car and drove to the shooting range. I had no idea what Tara was doing there as I could never see her with a gun but, I didn't care. If anyone deserved to know that it was okay, it was Gemma. After all I did disappear that night without explanation and I have ignored more of her calls and texts than anyone else. She wouldn't believe my lies. I pulled up to the shooting range and could hear the guns going off. The nice thing about this shooting range is it was privately owned in the country, so the cops didn't bug us, and it was only for SOA members. I looked in my bag to make sure my gun was in and left my car, locking it. I walked towards them, I saw Gemma with her arms around Tara guiding her to making a perfect shot. "You need to square you shoulders more and take even breaths so that you don't shake."

They hadn't heard me yet, so I thought I would show Tara how to do it. That's the only thing I learned from my mother before she died. I was young, but she believed that I needed to know how to protect myself in this world, especially when no one else was there. I pulled my gun out and choose the target beside them, so I wouldn't hurt either of them. I focused on my target and took a deep breath to steady my aim and as I pulled the trigger I exhaled. I hit my target dead on and at the sudden gun shot Tara pulled the trigger in surprise and both girls turned to face me. Gemma was still angry when she saw it was me, "You! Where have you been, I have been trying to get a hold of you for two weeks now. And don't give me that bullshit that you were with Stella." Gemma said as she stormed up to me

I put my gun away and smiled at her, holding my arms open "I'm sorry Gemma, I needed to get clean on my own I didn't want dad or Happy to see me like that. I couldn't risk losing anyone I loved besides, with everything that has gone on it seems like a good thing that I wasn't around to add to the trouble."

She gave me the hug I needed, and she didn't immediately let go. "So, you did this on your own?"

I bit my lip, I couldn't tell her about Tig. I had to keep his secret just like he would keep mine. "Yeah, it was harder on my own but, I did it. I have to pick up Stella tomorrow but, I thought I would show my face first."

"Happy has been on the rampage looking for you Savannah." Tara told me

I fumbled my fingers, "Yeah I know."

Gemma pulled away from me and looked me over, "Well you look better," she turned to look over at Tara, "Listen, keep practicing I gotta talk to Savannah right now."

Tara was hesitant but turned away from us as Gemma led me a little bit away. "How are you holding up Gemma?" I asked her once we were away from Tara

"I've been better but, I didn't want to talk to you about that. I figured out who has done this to us."

My eyes grew wide, "You have? That's great have you told dad?"

Gemma eyes darted around, "No I haven't, and neither will you. It isn't the time with Luann and Chibs."

"Oh my god was the bomb with Chibs them to? Who is doing this Gemma?"

"Zobelle's crew is. I recognized his voice, didn't you? Not to mention the tattoo on his neck."

I thought back to that night to realize that she was right his voice sounded exactly like -. Anger grew in me, how dare they do this just because they didn't want the club selling to colour. Who the hell did they think they were! My fist curled, and a growl rumbled from my chest, fucking bastards, they were going to pay. I didn't give Gemma an answer I just turned around walked towards my car. "Savannah what are you doing?" Gemma called after me

"Don't worry about it." I replied over my shoulder

"Don't you do anything, we got enough shit!" she continued to yell at me

I waved at her as I hoped into my car. As I reversed my vehicle as I thought of what I was going to do tonight as the only thoughts that went through my head was angry ones. I had one stop to make before I probably made the stupidest mistake of my life.

~~SOA~~

I pulled up to the clubhouse and smiled with all the greetings that I had got. It seemed that I was missed but there was one face that I had yet to see, Happy's. I walked into the bar and slapped a hand to the back of Tig's back as I sat on the stool beside him waving down the prospect behind the counter, "Coffee, black please."

I looked around the room and still didn't see Happy. "He is in the dorm room, last I saw." Tig told me

I looked back at him guiltily. "I've ignored him so long I wasn't sure if I would see him." I told him as I grabbed my coffee from the prospect.

Tig brought his beer to his lips and looked around to make sure that no one was near by. "Good to see you out and about. Feeling better?"

"I still feel sick but otherwise I am good. Its good to finally be out of the hotel room."

Tig grunted, "Good…less questions." He mumbled but I could see the hint of a smile tugging at him lips

I laughed genuinely but my heart stopped when Happy gruff voice filled the room, "I knew it."

I whipped around in my stool to face him, "Happy?" I asked him confused

My eyes ran over him, and I could tell immediately that he was upset. His body was tense, his eyes dark and his fist curled tight by his side. I stood up so that I could reach out for him but, he smacked my hand away from him, his hard eyes turning to me, "Don't touch me, you know what I mean. I have called you all week and you ignored me but, yet I find my so-called brother leaving your hotel room."

My eyes widened, "You followed me?" I asked shocked a little disturbed at the lack of privacy he gave me

I heard the stool behind me scrap across the floor as Tig stood beside me. "Brother, why don't we talk somewhere more private."

I could feel Tig behind me just as tense as Happy was. My heart was breaking at I watched the hurt that he tried so hard to hide it. "Brother? Brother, you don't get to call me that not after I catch you with her." He spat at us, I flinched at the way he said her

I took another step towards him, "Happy you don't understand I promise it isn't what you think, just let me talk to you?" I pleaded with him

He stepped away from me and glared at me, "I'm not a fool, don't treat me like one!"

I felt Tig's hand wrap around my arm pulling me behind him, "Happy this isn't the place to do this."

Happy flared up and he stood chest to chest with Tig, "I don't have to talk to you. Its between me and Savannah."

"Yes but, you are angry, and you should think about this before you do something you regret. She said it ain't what you think so listen to her." Tig stood his ground against him

Happy rolled his neck and shoved him away from him, causing him to fall back into me. It happened all quick then. It all happened to fast, one second we were all having a heated conversation and next I was flat on my ass and Tig and Happy were going at it on the floor. I tried to get involved but every time I was shoved away until Bobby and the prospects managed to pull them apart. Tig shoved them off and Happy's eyes connected with mine. His fist rubbed against his lip pushing the blood away before he stormed away. "Happy wait!" I yelled at him

He stormed out straight to his bike and I chased after him, tears in my eyes. I could hear the door opening after me and I had a feeling that some of the sons came to make sure everything went alright between us. But I trusted Happy not to hurt me physically even though my heart was breaking from watching him walk away. I grabbed onto his handle bars as he sat onto his bike, "Happy please! Let me explain, nothing happened between us. Tig was just helping me-" I tried to get him to listen to me

"Helping you with WHAT!" Happy shouted

I bite my lip, I couldn't tell him why I was really there. If I did that it would make things worse without having to explain what happened to me and Gemma. "That's what I thought." He mumbled before he reeved his engine

I moved out of his way and I felt like my tears were coming faster now. I wanted to tell him but, I don't know what to do…I was lost.

~~SOA~~

After the episode at the clubhouse I took off leaving everyone with questions. It seemed that it angered me even more as I sat out front of Zobelle's cigar shop while I toyed with my gun. I waited to see Weston walk into the shop. It was now or never and I though my hands were shaking I was going to do this. I looked up and down the street before I stormed out of the vehicle towards the entrance before I backed out. I placed my hand back with the gun in it and pushed open the door. Both Weston and Zobelle looked up at me, "Sorry miss we're closed." Weston told me as Zobelle watched me curiously

I scrunched up my nose, "Yeah, I know."

When Weston stepped towards me my heart raced with panic, I pulled the gun and aimed at both of the men. They both raised their hands, but Weston narrowed his eyes at me, "Hey, hey there is no need for that. Your Clay Morrow's daughter, right?" Zobelle said as he tried to walk towards me I shook the gun,

"No! Don't come any closer! I know what the fuck you did to me and Gemma and I wont stand by and let you get away with it." I yelled with tears brimming my eyes

Zobelle stopped walking towards me and his eyes darted behind me. I heard the click of another gun behind me, fuck "Savannah, I need you to lower you gun."

I looked over my shoulder briefly to see Hal standing there with his gun pointed at me. I bit my lip as I looked back to the two men in front of me, "But, they don't deserve to be alive! I-I…" I trailed off realizing the situation I was in

"Think about what your doing? Think about Stella. Put the gun down and I promise this wont reach anyone's ears. Don't do anything you will regret." Hal continued to talk to me

My finger began to shake as I thought about my daughter. I hadn't thought about her and what I was doing would affect me bringing her home. My eyes connected with the smug ones of Weston and all I could think was that this wasn't over. I chocked gasp escaped my lips as I dropped my arm and Hal reached forward to pull the gun from my willing hands.

* * *

 **I would like to start off by thanking;**

 **MELYLOOP- I can't guarantee anything for the future since we all love our little bit of drama but so far that isn't in my plan for our cute duo**

 **Legolas' Girl 31, anelle25, .7311,, angeleyes301313, nikole salvatore, guest(Aug.1), Cherokee Daniels- Sorry for the late update, hope you love this chapter**

 **bravesfan152001- Thank you! As always love your reviews**

 **nelle76- As you read he definitely knew more than he said I hope you enjoyed this chapter, but I know I threw in a bit of a curveball but trust me things will work out for both of them can't be to easy though**

 **Ang R- wow even though I didn't agree with some of your comments, I will take your criticism and thank you for commenting on each chapter. Ill try to answer you question, I would tell you how Mike new but, that will ruin something I have planned for the future. Let's just say it has to do with Stella's father. As for her knowledge of the club being a druggy in Tacoma with the sons being the main outlaw there. I tried to make her knowledge be more of common sense and stuff that may have reached her ears. Sorry I haven't focused much on the age I didn't realize that I put that gap in there. When I get a chance, I will try to fix it. One thing to realize with my stories is that I jump in the timeline like the tv show does. Sometimes it can be a couple weeks between chapters. It has never bothered others before, so I apologize. Happy acts out like he does because he doesn't do relationships it is a learning curve for both. There will eventually be a Stella and Clay moment, but she is angry with him and has no plans now of talking to him. If you have any questions don't hesitate to message me?**

 **docsangel- I'm back!**

 **Guest (Sept.27)- thank you but I am back and all good now. Thank you for still reading my stories, much appreciated**

 **I would also like to thank everyone that has favorite since the last update and still continue to do so;**

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	25. Reconnect

**{Hey guys here is another chapter. Pre-warning that I cry like a baby every time this scene is played, no idea why but it may be a little short. I hope you like it and I don't own anything to do with the Sons of Anarchy, but I do own my own characters and anything else that you do not recognize.}**

Fuck…fuck…fuck, fuck, fuck! I fucked up, yeah there was no babying it. Hal had removed the gun from me and took me to the station for the night to clear my head. I had yet to say much and I barely slept through the night, the constant worry about Stella coming back to my mind. Now I had my hands were behind my back and the cuffs jingled against the seat. I bite my lip as I stared out the window, not paying to much attention to what Hal was saying. As I recognized the street that the garage was on, a new kind of panic set in. My dad was going to kill me. "Why are you bringing me here?" I asked as my voice cracked from the first time I had spoken in hours

Hal's eyes connected with mine through his review mirror, "I'm doing you a favor not reporting this because I know your struggle to get your daughter back. But, someone needs to know what you did because it was serious, and I will not turn a blind eye next time."

It was unfair that Zobelle could get away with what he did. It wasn't fair that I had to carry this around with me and only me. It wasn't fair that I couldn't share what I was going on with Happy, no instead he was pissed off at me for a complete misunderstanding. And now I was going to have to deal with my father who no doubt would have my head for this. "Its not fair." I mumbled

I didn't think that I mumbled loud enough for him to hear but apparently, I was wrong. "What did Zobelle do to have you show up with a gun?"

I wanted to tell him so bad, I wanted to tell anyone but, I couldn't. "He deserved what was coming to him." Was all I said

He knew it was a loosing battle to keep asking question, so he kept his mouth pursed in a hard line as we pulled into the lot. I watched as a Clay, Jax and Gemma began to walk towards us with a confused look on there faces. Hal parked the car before he hoped out and opened my door, guiding me out of the car. When my eyes connected with Clay I saw confusion and anger all in one go. Hal turned me around, so he could begin removing my cuffs. "What the hell is going on?" Jax said angrily

Hal cleared his throat before he answered, "Well don't ask me why but, I found Savannah at Zobelle's cigar shop…with a gun in her possession."

I knew by the looks on the boys faces that they were confused and least of all impressed. But, I wasn't looking at them, I was looking at Gemma. She seemed worried and somewhat guilty. I had no idea how I was going to talk my way out of this. "Are there any charges?" Clay asked

"No, not this time. But, if it happens again I won't be able to protect her." Hal answered

Now that my cuffs were off I began to rub at my arm nervously. Gemma took notice of this and reached her arm towards me, "Come on baby, let the men talk." She spoke to me as if trying to calm a deer down

I didn't look back at the men as we walked away but I knew by the hushed whispers and the feeling of their eyes on me that they were still talking about me and it wasn't good. But once we reached the office, Gemma closed both doors, so we would have privacy and I collapsed into the chair in front of her desk. She finished closing the blinds before she sat across from me and placed her hands in her lap. "I thought I told you not to go starting shit." She told me

"He doesn't deserve to get away with it Gemma. How can sit around knowing that there sitting there with a smug grin on their faces because there getting away with it." I said with a pout

"Because the club don't need it, if your going to be apart of this world you need to learn when to stand back and when to stand up."

"It ain't right Gemma." I said to her as I tried to hold back my tears for the millionth time since last night

"I heard about Happy. He has been mopping around the clubhouse since yesterday."

I looked around the room uncomfortably, "I couldn't tell him where I was or why. I had Tig helping me out and he jumped to conclusions and now I don't know how to fix it. I can't fix it without telling him what was going on. Now I don't know how I am going to explain this to anyone. I just want to tell the truth, I don't want to lie." I told her as my voice broke at the end

Gemma reached over the desk and held my hand in hers, "I know this is hard on you like it is on me. Neither of us should have ever had to go through that but we can't tell them, not yet."

"But why?"

"Jax has decided he wants to go nomad and that's not good."

"But, that's what Happy was?" I asked not completely understanding what was so bad about that

"For Happy that's different, he is built for that life. But, Jax isn't. Nomad is no family and no home…no one to protect him. And its all because of the shit between him and Clay."

I felt a pain in my heart at this news, though I hadn't known Jax for my whole life, he was one of the reasons I made it through my first attempted at going sober. He was a rock when no one else was. Without him or Gemma I don't know what I would do. "Fuck."

Gemma let go of my hand and stood and began to pace around the room, "Okay this is what were going to do. You have to go pick up Stella, right?"

I looked at my watch, "Yeah I should actually be leaving soon."

"Okay, I want you to take my car and try to avoid the boys for right now. It will give us time to think but, if you run into one of them tell them that you were upset about everything they have done lately. And with Stella coming home you wanted to send a message to leave your family alone no matter how wrong you were. That should hold off the questions for now."

"Okay."

Gemma peaked out the blinds and when she didn't see Clay or Jax she grabbed her keys and passed them to me. "Go get your baby and bring her home. It's a long drive so I will see you at home."

I grabbed the keys from her and she pulled me into my arms. She kissed the side of my head before sending me on my way. I opened the door as quietly as I could and peeked outside. When the coast was clear I walked quickly across the lot to Gemma car. I had just closed the door and slipped the key into the engine when a gentle knock on the window caused me to curse. I looked beside me to see Jax staring at me, I swore mentally before rolling the window down. "You didn't think you would get away that, easily do you? Clay is waiting to talk to you inside."

I looked in the rear-view mirror to the building my father was no doubt fuming in and I bit my lip. "Jax I got to go get Stella or I will be late."

He leaned his arms on the window but didn't budge, "Well then you want to tell me why your medalling where you shouldn't be?"

My eyes met his and I retorted, "What about you Jax? Your just gonna leave us all behind."

"Ma told you, I was going to tell you."

"When Jax? When you were on your bike leaving? I thought you said I was your little sister now? That you would take care of me? Right now, Jaxson I feel more betrayed then ever. I just started to really be apart of this family and you are just going to leave."

"You don't understand-"

"I don't need to understand anything but, that your leaving and you won't listen to me. When I met you, I thought I had found someone who could genuinely care for me. I hadn't felt that since my mothers passing, so in a sense you are no better than everyone else, just taking a piece of my heart with you. If only you knew the truth."

As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them. "What do you mean the truth?"

"Nothing Jax I got to go" I said as I rolled up the window effectively ending our conversation.

As I pulled away Jax stepped away from the vehicle, but I could tell by the look on his face that my words had hurt him. Today was just not my day.

~~SOA~~

The drive was ridiculously long, and I knew it was because the million and one thoughts running though my head. I just wanted to get my baby and get home to bed. Once I had pulled in front of my aunt's house I took another look at my phone, hoping he would have texted me but I should have known better. He was mad, and he thought I was cheating on him and with Tig of all people! I hadn't even seen him since the episode between him and Tig and it hurt. I knew he didn't go far but, he definitely went out of his way to avoid me. I stepped out of my vehicle and began to go to the house where the door swung open and my daughter ran out straight towards me, with her arms wide open. "Mama!" I crouched down and pulled her tight into my body. I reveled over the feeling of having her in my arms

I became quickly emotional as I realized that today would be the day I go home with my baby girl. Tears came to my eyes as I squeezed her tighter. I may not get a chance to have a family with Happy but, as long as I had my little girl and that's all that matter. Stella began to wiggle out of my arms and she pulled away enough that she could grab my face. As she took in my tears her face became confused as she pushed away my tears, "Why you crying?" she asked me

I sniffled and leaned forward to kiss her cheek, "I'm just very happy. Come on go get your stuff and say bye to your Aunt Val."

"Okay." She cheered up and ran back into her house.

When I stood up I saw Val standing in the doorway with her arms crossed but she didn't look mad. I brushed my knees off and walked towards her. "Hey Val."

"Savannah. You ready to take her home?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." I told her

Val was looking into the house and I could tell something was chewing her up. So, before she could say anything I spoke up, "She will be good for me. I have run from my responsibilities to long and I can't keep calling myself her mother if I don't actually take care of her like my mother raised me to do."

As I spoke Val looked at me with complete shock at my words. Val didn't have time to say anything before Stella was pulling me by the hand as she dragged her suitcase behind her. I laughed as I put her in her car seat and placed her suitcase into my car. Val helped me move the rest of her boxes into my vehicle before she said he goodbyes to Stella. Once the car door and trunk were shut, Val turned to face me once more. She pulled me into a hug but, a few seconds pass and she spoke into my ear, "Take care of her Savannah. You will be a great mother, you have made many strides to become a better person. But, remember if you ever need an escape with her from your life, there will always be a home here for you," She pulled away and put her hands on either side of my face and she smiled at me with tears brimming her eyes, "Your mother would be so proud of you."

I held back my tears at her comforting words before I pulled her in for one more and hug and moved to my driver side. Once I started my car I looked back as Stella, "Wave bye to Aunt Val."

"Bye-bye!" She screamed as she waved frantically at her Aunt

"Time to go home baby girl." I said as I pulled away from the curb

~~SOA~~

By the time I had gotten home, it was rather late. But, nobody was home, so I sat Stella at the table with a cookie and some milk for a mid night snack. But as she was finishing up I could see she was struggling to keep her head up. I was just standing up as I walked to pick her up in my arms. It wasn't until she was in my arms with her head on my shoulder that the front door opened. I was expecting just to see Gemma and Clay so when I turned to face her I had to blink in mild shock. Jax, Tara and Happy stood behind them and Happy would not look at me. "Hey, you brought her home." Clay said as he walked forward to rub the side of her head before giving her a kiss on her forehead

Gemma smiled as she walked by and did the same but told me after, "Go put her to bed and come out here, we got something to talk about."

I watched her curiously for a moment, did she mean what I think she meant. "Mama?" Stella's sleepy voice called out to me

I tried to turn to face her before I spoke, "Yeah baby?"

"Can Happy tuck me in to?" she asked

I didn't even know that she woke up to see him here but, what was I gonna say? I looked over to Happy who seemed to be thinking the same thing as me but, he didn't say no. So, I nodded my head and began to walk by the group to bring her to bed. Tara nodded her head at me and Jax kissed Stella head as I walked by. Once I got to the bedroom, I began to try and move the blankets out of my way. I was struggling as I was holding her weight but, Happy came to my rescue and pulled them away for me. I slipped my daughter into bed and pulled the covers over her, tucking her in as tight as I could before I sat on the edge of her bed. "Goodnight sweetheart, I will come to bed soon."

"Okay." She said as she continued to struggle to stay away. She held her tiny hand out behind me

I looked behind me to see Happy frozen in place not knowing what to do. It was almost comical. "Happy?" My daughter small voice asked

He reached forward to grab her hand in his huge one and he grunted at her. "Will you come back to?"

My eyes grew, and I shook my head, "Not tonight baby maybe another night."

I felt Happy grow stiff beside me and I knew then that this was hard not just for me but for him to. "Goodnight Stella." Happy said to her and squeezed her hand

Stella seemed to be to tired to fight it anymore before her eyes fluttered closed. I leaned forward and kissed her forehead before I got up and Happy followed me out. We didn't say anything and every second that passed that felt like years hurt so damn much. I fell to hard for this fool. By the time we got out to the dinning room everyone was sitting at the table. I went and sat beside Gemma and Happy sat beside Tara across from me. "What is this?" Clay asked

"The night of Bobby's party, I didn't get into an accident driving home. I was attacked and so was Savannah." Gemma began to talk about the night we were attacked, pausing every few minutes as she struggled to relive that night

Everyone's eyes turned to me and I looked down at the table, "They broke into the house and took me when I got home. I almost escaped but, I didn't make it far."

"A girl jumps out in a panic. Says her baby's choking, that girl was very convincing. It was a goddamn doll in the car seat. She hit me over the back of the head with a, you know, a blackjack. Something. I came to handcuff to a chain-link and Savannah was on the floor no more than five feet away me."

I looked up to see Tara nodding in understand but, all three men were shocked, angry and seemed to understand that this wasn't the worst. Gemma had paused and as my eyes reached Happy continually darking ones. I licked my lips before I spoke up, "They dragged me in this dark cement building, they hit me a couple times. They pinned me to the floor and strapped me up before shooting me up with enough crank to immobilized me. I screamed for them to stop, I cried but they wouldn't listen. It wasn't until Gemma had begun to move that they left me on the floor. All I could do was hide in the corner before the high took over and all I could do was sit there and watch." I told them but as I spoke, and fresh tears slipped down my face, my eyes never left Happy.

"Watch what?" Jax's voice broke

Now it was Gemma turn, she grabbed my hand for support and I squeezed hers for my own, "They wore masks, there were three of them. When he spoke I knew his voice, tatt on his throat. Zobelle's right hand. Told me to deliver a message to you, stop selling guns to colour, said if I didn't tell you that he would find us again and do it again but, next time it wouldn't just be me," Gemma paused as she gathered her courage to say what had happened, "They raped me, all three of them…more than once."

One thing I didn't know was the threat that came from them. A chocked cry escaped my lips as memories came back to me that night. The pain almost as fresh as it had been that night. I watched as Happy eyes became blacker than I had every witness and he clenched his fist so tight that his tanned skin was turning white. Clay had yet to say anything from the shock he was experiencing but, Jax became so enraged that he smashed his fist against the table. Jax got up and walked over to his mother before grabbing her hands and pulling her hands up to his face before he kissed her knuckles. Once he shared a moment with his mother, he came over and crouched down to hold me closer to him. "I'm so sorry, I promised to protect you and I didn't. I wont leave." Jax whispered in my ear

I began to cry a little harder as I held onto him for what felt like dear life. Tara was looking at us with not pride but happy that the truth was finally out. Jax stood away from me and as he walked past Clay he clapped his shoulder. I finally looked over at my father and as I did his hand reached out to me and tugged me towards him. I stood and walked around Gemma and Clay held my hands tight in his and when I got closer to him he gently kissed my cheek. "I love you." He whispered

"I love you to." I whispered back

Once I felt his hands loosen on mine. I pulled away, he needed his moment with Gemma and I knew that. If anyone needed the comfort from my father now, it would be Gemma. When I looked back as Happy he had yet to move but, once he knew the moment was over. He abruptly walked over to me and grabbed my hand tight in his own, pulling me so fast out of the house it was hard for me to catch up to him. Once he did stop we were in a corner of the yard by a tree with a wide trunk. He pulled me in front of him and pushed my back against the trunk and blocked me in with his arms. His eyes were closed at first but once he opened his eyes to face me, I saw the tears falling from his cheek. To see a man such as Happy cry was something you would never expect to see. "That's why…that's why you went into hiding. But, why Tig Savannah…I would've been right there."

I reached a hand forward to cup his cheek in mine as I looked at him with sympathy in my eyes. "No baby I couldn't, not because of Gemma but, because it was my burden to bear. Tig was just…someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

He grabbed my hand that was cupping his face before bringing it to his mouth and kissed my fingers. Then he dropped my hand and kissed me softly, I wished it would never end, "Any of your burdens are mine, any of mine are yours Savannah. This will not work if we can't help each other out. I love you and what they did…fuck they won't get away with it. If only you know the thoughts that have gone through my head."

I bite my lip hard before I spoke again, the tears coming faster than anytime before. "I was so scared Hap."

I could see the change in his facial expression before he pulled me hard into his body and allowed us to fall to the ground. In a swift movement he pulled my body onto his lap, so I straddled him, and he began to rock me with him. "I will never let something like that every happen to you again. Your mine." He growled in my ear.

* * *

 **I would like to start off by thanking,**

 **Nikole Salvatore- Thank you hope you enjoyed this one to**

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 **UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	26. Author Note

Hey guys! I am sorry so very, very sorry! I want to keep my Sons of Anarchy stories going but I am having issue watching any episodes to continue them until I can figure out how to do it. I am working hard to do it and once I can I promise I will post more than one chapter in one go but for now they are going to be put on hold. Again I am so, so sorry!


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